Flightlessness
by EvilBunny
Summary: Heero's on a mission. But when he stumbles into a shattered girl's garden sanctuary, she may change everything he thought he knew. Wings aren't always a blessing, and now he must protect her not only from her past, but his own military as well.
1. Flightlessness

Flightlessness  
  
PG  
  
by EvilBunny  
  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing in no way belongs to me. It instead belongs to other people that have actual companies and make money doing this type of thing.  
  
With a graceful leap, he easily cleared the old stone wall. It would have been just as easy to climb up the crumbling structure, but that would have left him silhouetted against the stone. This way he was simply a fleeting shadow in the dark. He landed softly in the wet grass on the other side. Heero had spent the past day masquerading as one of the many servants who kept this old castle functioning and the troops it hid fed, all the while ignorant of the activities that went on the ancient building's rotten depths. The rain fell in heavy drops around him, soaking his clothes and his long brown bangs until they fell in dripping waves across his face, concealing two piercing blue eyes. Heero stayed crouched in the darkness, as small rivulets of the cold rainwater ran off him and fell in thin pillars to the ground. The light grey uniform of the servant had been left behind; now he wore a simple dark outfit of a light top and pants. If he was caught here, being dressed as a servant would only raise suspicion as only the most senior of officers were admitted.  
  
Still, he was amazed at the simplicity with which he had gained access to this inner sanctum. Around him, branches heavy with water reached almost to the ground, and in some places the ivy, which choked everything in sight, trailed down among the overgrown brush below it. This walled garden seemed to be the only part of the rambling structure that wasn't heavily guarded at all times. True, the walls still held the customary barbed-wire, and a glowing electronic eye whose faint red glare showed that the area was not devoid of security, but compared to the rest of the complex this was light indeed. Not to mention childishly easy to avoid.  
  
The servants shunned this entire area, calling the garden cursed. All Heero's listening on the subject had only uncovered some rumours of soft crying late at night. Someone wanted to keep the household out of this small wilderness. The grass he knelt in came up above his ankles, and he could see that the rest of the area was just as overgrown. He couldn't even tell the size of it, as wherever he looked, dark trees blocked even his dark-adjusted eyes. The garden might have once contained flowers, but, for whatever reason, they had long since been abandoned and the weeds and ivy taken over.  
  
Heero silently straightened, convinced that there truly weren't any other guards than the one young man who patrolled some thirty feet above him on the catwalk. That man carried a lantern, ruining any night vision he might have had, and only occasionally gave a glance to either side. The stupidity of some people used to astonish him, but Heero had long ago numbed himself to such useless emotions. Heero calmly began a survey of the perimeter, confidently stepping out along the wall. The garden, if it even still deserved that name, was truly a mess. Briars twisted amidst the ivy that covered the ancient oaks, still dark and filled with fall leaves that refused to turn. Pine trees hid an even blacker interior, but Heero was sure that what he looked for would be along the walls. Even then, the rose bushes that seemed to grow everywhere without a single bloom made it nearly impossible to make any progress. At every turn, thorns reached out to grasp at him, and Heero had to actually make an effort to escape their clutching masses with only a few scratches.  
  
Heero's calm survey slowly led him around the garden. The simple square design was lent an eerie quality by the overgrown greenery, and though the canopy of leaves now protected him from most of the rain, he could hear the constant drumming of drops hitting the stone of walls around him. Small alcoves would appear, with statues just barely visible under the shadow, then fade back into oblivion two steps further on. Three quatres around the area, he came finally came to a door. A great slash of white against the darker stone, this door was made of reflective steel and glistened in the small amount of light from the single bulb that shone above the catwalk in a wire cage. Obviously newer than the rest of the building, the door stood in stark contrast to the rest of the garden. However, there did not appear to be any security measures on this door. No blinking panel stood to one side to accept an access card, no locks barred the way. Why they would bother installing such a sophisticated door and then not bother protecting it made no sense, but Heero had long ago discovered that nothing was past the insanity of the man who held control of this castle. In just one day as a servant, he had heard the stories. Under the noisy chatter of the kitchen ran the darker waters of rumour. Servants that vanished without a trace, faces that would suddenly disappear from the soldier's tables. Where the soldiers came from was obvious. They, every one of them, had the bearing of Academy students, and though their age and gender varied, that remained constant. Why they had been chosen was still unclear, none of them seemed to have any characteristic in common, or any particular talent. The role of servant had made his job much easier. No one spared the grey-clad servants a second glance, and no one noticed an extra helping hand, nor when that extra hand took a break to look around. But as a servant, the doors into the laboratory were hidden from him. This garden would provide the easiest way in, Heero was sure of it.  
  
He slowly slid to the side of the door, conscious that if the guard should return, he stood too far out in the light to easily hide. As he reached to turn the handle, he caught a flash of movement from the corner of his eye. A pale glowing white, as if the faint light that filtered through the raindrops had reflected off skin that seldom saw sunlight. Heero turned swiftly in a defensive crouch, knees bent and eyes fierce. The movement was not repeated, nor the alarm raised. He measured the time in his own heartbeats, but the only sound aside from those steady beats was the steady fall of rain on the leaves and the slow drip as the water wound its way to the ground. Heero straightened and reached again for the handle. Just before completing the turn, he paused, to watching his surroundings from the corners of his eyes. Perhaps a security measure existed that he had not seen. But the garden remained still. He pushed the door open on smooth hinges, and slipped into the area beyond. Not once had his shadow stood silhouetted against the lighter door, but as the steel closed gently behind him, one stood there now, in sharp relief. A gust of wind swept down from the outer wall, shaking the upper branches, and when the flying leaves settled, the garden appeared to be deserted once more.  
  
Heero slowly entered a room as dark and decrepit as the garden he had just left. Dust fell from the rafters in rain as steady as the water outside, and the wind that accompanied Heero's entry whipped that dust in circles. The scuffed floor, both dirty and ancient, resisted any attempt to discouver footprints. The walls here muffled the sound of the storm without, and Heero could see no windows in the blank stone, though some faint light filtered down from high above. Shadows wrapped everything around the edges of his vision, and the ceiling seemed to continue up forever. Dead across from him stood another modern door, smuggling gleaming in its dilapidated surroundings. This door had a simple lock mechanism, that took little more time to open than the outside one had. Instead of ancient stone as he half expected, the stairwell the door revealed contained cement steps spiralling downwards. Naked bulbs dangled from the ceiling, but the only light in the stairwell came from somewhere below. Even his soft footsteps echoed along the walls. Three flights down, another steel door broke the monotony. Here was the light, for a single lit bulb hung above a blinking security panel. A carefully crafted admission card took care of this lock, and this door too opened in a manner of moments.  
  
The hallway now revealed was as sterile and new as the door. Naked bulbs hung here, their yellowish glare showing cement floors and walls. The basement air was chill, and had a stale taste to it. Heero walked silently into the light, alert to any movement that would mean discovery. Doors stood in spaced intervals along the wall, again the large steel contraptions with small blinking panels beside each one. Out of place in the old stone facade of the outer wall, here in the basement Heero recognized them for what they were, silent witnesses to prisons of pain.  
  
Heero could guess from his mission brief what hid behind the faceless doors, each carefully locked and numbered. Small panels marked the only differences between these and the garden door. Someone had slid each of these panels back, revealing an empty interior. The walls of several of these bore long scars, of captives desperate attempts to claw out. But none of them were occupied.  
  
As Heero carefully padded deeper along the hall, occasional panels would be closed, and a faint noise could sometimes be heard emanating from behind those doors. These cells Heero left alone. Whatever was behind them, he didn't need to deal with to complete the mission and had no wish to inform them of his presence.  
  
Finally an intersection crossed his original path. Down to the right he could see a plain wooden door, clearly different from the cells he had passed. This held promise, and Heero turned his attention to yet another blinking panel. As soon as his back was turned to the grey blankness of the hallway, he heard the crisp noise of a military step patrolling the hall he had just left. He could also hear snarls coming from the obviously occupied cells; the inmates clearly did not approve of their jailer. Heero threw himself upwards, deftly grabbing one of the exposed beams and swinging into the unfinished ceiling. One of the older officers strode 'round the corner, and marched down the hall, coming to a halt directly below the crouching intruder. The dull blue of his uniform was unadorned except for a thin black band around each cuff marking his rank.  
  
A sharp rapping rang out along the hall, accompanied by deep throated growls from one of the locked rooms. The officer didn't blink at this interruption, instead calling out in a clear voice;  
  
"Dr. Peters. Lieutenant Marks here, open up."  
  
The door slowly opened from inside, and a powerful voice demanded to know the reason for this interruption.  
  
"It's cell nine sir, we think we're going to lose her."  
  
"Shit. We need her, we have a shipment to make at the end of the week, and it's too late to start another from scratch. I'll be there right away. Oh, and we need to be sure and leave something hot to Releena tomorrow morning. If she's been out in the garden tonight, and she probably was, she'll be soaked through. I don't want to have to be the one nursing her back to health."  
  
Marks saluted and the walked back the way he had come. Heero waited until he could no longer hear the echos of his footsteps or the sound of the snarls. So there HAD been someone with him in the garden. She must have seen him break in. He couldn't allow anyone to discover him, it was only twelve hours until the troops arrived, and during that time, the castle could have no suspicion that their operations had been discovered. No one was allowed to see him and live. But somebody did. He would just have to go back and make sure she didn't report him.  
  
Finally the wooden door opened again beneath him. A large man in a lab coat, who's hair had only begun to go gray backed out and closed the door carefully behind him. He set off briskly down the hall in the same direction as the Lieutenant, pausing only to sigh deeply outside the door where most of the growls had been emanating and make a notation on a pad of paper.  
  
When his echos had also faded away, Heero dropped back down, and inspected the door. This one gave him no more difficulty than the one by the stairs, and soon he was in, shutting the door quietly behind him. Inside the room, rows of monitors stood lightly glowing. The entire building could be seen by security cameras, but the hallways and doors weren't what was shown on these screens. On each one a horror stood revealed under soft lighting. Of the seven screens, each one seemed to hold a separate and unique monstrosity. To the left a man stood flexing his hands, from which four inch claws extended. The long marks on the door made it clear he wasn't pleased with captivity. The situation was just as they'd suspected. This group of 'doctors' were mixing human and animal DNA, trying to create a version of the perfect soldier. Someone with the instincts and natural weapons of the wild, and the cunning intellect of a human. These creations were then sold by order, and had begun appearing on the battlefield roughly two months ago. A man who seemed to be a cat mix was caught acting as a sniper. He'd been killed before they could get any information out of him. Heero had immediately taken the mission to find out the source. Volunteer soldiers weren't the only subjects, many of the early tests seemed to have been conducted on orphans from various colonies. But it would all end. Heero would see to that. On another screen, a girl who appeared to be growing fins writhed on the ground before rolling into the small pond provided in her cell.  
  
He turned to the computer, still on from the doctor's use. Heero took a bare fifteen minutes to find the information he needed, and add to it what he had already gathered. He sent off the confirmation, and slowly slipped out of the control room. Now it was just a matter of time. As he padded down the halls, his thoughts focused on the garden ahead, where the only person aware of his presence in the castle hid. This girl had to be eliminated.  
  
------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------  
  
Heero stepped out into the garden, letting the door fall closed behind him. The rain had let up while he was indoors, ,and now a watery moonlight filtered down into the darkened garden. Water dripped slowly from the surrounding thorns and wet grass brushed up against his ankles. He stood in the shadows, silent, as he waited for this girl, this Releena, to give herself away. Calmly he took out a small handgun, holding it ready at his side. He focused on the cold smoothness of the metal weapon: he was a soldier on a mission. He would do everything that would ensure the success of that mission. Everything.  
  
There! A flash of white, clearer now that the moon was shedding light on the scene. Someone stood in the deepest tangles, leading to the center. From behind a large moss covered oak came a slight movement. Two hazel eyes, partially obscured by golden hair, were peering out at him from behind the gnarled truck of the tree. Heero quickly trained his gun on the face, this would be easier than he thought. In a low, gravely voice, he spoke;  
  
"Omao o koruso."  
  
The girl calmly stepped out further into the moonlight. She stood barefoot, damp hair clinging to her face and tree branches dripping water around her like a curtain. She seemed so slim and light, as if she floated in the grotto, her feet never touching the muddy ground. She took another step, bringing her fully out of the shadows, and as the light hit her skin, she glowed. The moonlight bounced off her skin, whiter than the dirty snow Heero remember from his childhood, and seemed to reflect off every drop of water around her. A shimmering radiance seemed to surround her, bouncing off the droplets caught in the feathers of the two wings that framed her head. Rising from behind her shoulders, they brushed gently against low hanging vines, and were an even purer white than her skin. For a moment, though his hand never wavered, Heero stood amazed. In the soft, silvery light, an angel stood, trapped only for an instant before she would take flight and escape. But he stayed hypnotized only for a moment. Heero's analytical brain quickly made the connection between her and the monstrous experiments inside. He took a breath, realizing only then that he had been holding it, and his eyes hardened. He should have been expecting this. What one of the creatures was doing out in this garden at three in the morning was irrelevant. She was the only one who knew he was here, and she had to be eliminated. Especially now. But he still didn't pull the trigger. Something about the way she stood there, with those eyes. Looking at him, her eyes locked on his as if she could see into him, and find things he didn't even know he hid.  
  
Releena slowly took another step forward. Her breathing seemed shallow, her step hesitant, but her eyes never left his face, not even to glance downwards at the gun he had aimed at her heart. A blast of wind whipped down over the wall, blowing stray strands of her hair across her face. The feathers of her wings rustled with the breeze. It also played along Heero's skin, chilling him from the rain earlier, but the boy took no notice. Nor did Releena, though she gave an involuntary shiver and raised her hand to tuck her hair back behind her ear. She stood so near to him now, the dark foliage seemed to surround them, and nothing mattered but that her hazel eyes were fixed on his blue ones, and he was entranced.  
  
"I will destroy you." he repeated, the words forced out from his dry mouth. At this distance there was no chance he could miss. A sound abruptly broke through the unnatural stillness of the garden, and Releena started like a deer suddenly aware of a hunter, and looked upwards to the guard's catwalk. The moment she broke eye contact, Heero's mind began to scream at him. Baka. He stood right in the clearing near the door, in easy view of any of the guards with sense enough to look while on patrol, and the girl was in plain sight. Releena seemed to realize this too, and the eyes she returned to his face were now filled with fear. She swiftly shot out her hand, but instead of reaching for the gun, which Heero prepared himself for, she grasped his other hand. Turning quickly, her slim fingers wrapped around his wrist, she led him deeper into the forest maze. Heero had avoided this mess of a jungle in the center, his discovery of the door had made any further search pointless. The path Releena led him onto was just as wild and untamed as he had supposed, but she seemed to be navigating it without any trouble, as behind them the sounds of the guards grew louder. Heero followed the grip on his wrist without hesitation, blinded by the feathers that trailed across his face every time she turned, and narrowly avoiding the branches and roots that littered their path. The light grip on his wrist seemed to burn, though her skin seemed even colder than his own. Each time he felt the whisper of her wings across his face, he felt that same sense of awe as when she first appeared. Suddenly they stopped, and he found himself being tugged down to a kneeling position on a soft moss ground, miraculously dry. Releena knelt beside him, anxiously peering out from behind a fallen branch at the man who stood marching along the exterior wall. As Heero concentrated his hearing on the guard, he turned his eyes to drink in the sight of her. This close, he could see how her eyelashes brushed against her cheek each time she blinked. His eyes drifted backwards towards her wings, which even now swayed softly in whatever breeze could sneak past the trees. They were beautiful, swan-like in their graceful shape and colour. But there, where her wings met her back, the vision changed. Angry red lines marred the perfect skin, old scar tissue from what must have been the original operations were covered by new lines from more recent cuts. Black and blue bruises crawled along her shoulder blades and ran deeper along her back. The light fabric of her dress, cut to leave her back open and her wings free made the damage clearly visible. The operations had obviously not been gentle.  
  
"I was the only one who survived it." A soft voice whispered from beside him. Heero snapped his sight up to find himself once again the subject of two of the clearest eyes he had ever seen. Determined not to be trapped again, he quickly looked away, and began studying the catwalk for any sign of more guards.  
  
"The only one." she repeated. " He tried it with six of us, three boys and three girls, all from orphanages. All of the boys died during the initial implantation, and slowly the girls died too. From complications and infection, and one from suicide. I am the only 'success." She gave a bitter laugh. The sound seemed wrong to be coming from such a serene appearing creature, but still Heero refused to look at her, concentrating instead on the retreating footsteps of the guard. He couldn't kill her while someone was in earshot. But she went on.  
  
"Of course, I can't fly. He couldn't grow wings large enough for that and he didn't want to mess with my body mass once the wings started to take. I'm merely for decoration, a remnant from when his obsession was beauty instead of war and money. An obsession no less horrible for its intentions." She suddenly turned to him, her wings whipping around in their own wind in her violent hurry to face him. Leaning earnestly towards him, she whispered fiercely, her eyes brilliant with unshed tears; "But you're here to finally stop him, aren't you? You'll put an end to it all."  
  
She sat there, looking up at him so trustingly, as if she had complete faith in him. He had to get away from her. The mission was the important thing. Heero began to stand, but before he completed the movement, he once again found a cool hand snaked around his wrist, and eyes looking upwards at him pleadingly. Why hadn't he evaded her grasp? Years of training and this girl, in five minutes, seemed to have broken through every defense without effort. She was speaking again, her warm voice as full of trust as her eyes.  
  
"You can't go back now. Once you've disappeared, you can't return. No one takes any notice if someone vanishes in the middle of the night, but you can't be seen coming back..."  
  
Heero looked at her, kneeling there on the moss, the vines hanging down from ancient branches all around her. The shadows behind her seemed all the darker when compared to the light she carried around with her. She looked so eager and determined, so vulnerable. Slowly, without really understanding why, he sat down again. What she said made sense, he would raise suspicions if he was found now. Surely that was the only reason.  
  
He stayed early into the morning. Just sitting quietly in the hollow, listening to Releena talk. She told him everything he could ever need to know about the compound; numbers, locations, all of it delivered in a low, level voice. Gently the sky began to lighten; pink streaking down along the edges of the leaves, changing her skin from alabaster to a peach colouration. Still light, her skin lost some of the ethereal paleness, becoming a rose that perfectly complimented the still unreal whiteness of her wings. In the breaking dawn, Heero realized why she had not been sold off like all the others. The doctor had created an angel. Who could bear to part with such a treasure?  
  
Releena took a pause to breath, and shifted slightly. A wing caught a little on the bark above her head, and a faint grimace passed over her features, like a cloud over the moon. Soldier's eyes, trained to catch and hint of weakness couldn't fail to notice that the wings hurt her every time she moved. Heero's eyes hardened; the scars along her back were fresh in his mind, and the operation's pain was obviously long lasting. He wanted to reach out and hold her, to tell her that he would kill anyone that every hurt her again. Instead he stood up.  
  
"My team needs to know this." his crisp tone seemed out of place here, where the only sound for the past hours had been her dulcet words. "Wait here."  
  
He knew he shouldn't leave her alive like that, but he had to get away. Heero found his way out of the brambles with little difficulty, though he formed a begrudging admiration that so small a girl could navigate the thorns while towing wings along behind her. A quick glance around showed the surrounding to be deserted. He wasn't running from her. Now was the perfect time to retrieve his equipment, excuses would be easy to fabricate. Soon he was back at the tree where he had hidden his equipment. He paused for a moment while retrieving his stuff. He could just leave now, escape the castle and fill the team in from the nearby forest before arranging a rendez-vous. But there was Releena. Heero nodded to himself and quietly heading back to the garden. After all, she might still have more information, and he had to make sure she wouldn't interfere with the mission, didn't he.  
  
He found the hollow again quickly, and for a moment his breath caught in his throat. He'd lost her. He quickly pushed that thought aside, and instead focused on what this would mean to the mission. He had to find her. Even now, she could be betraying him to the guards. He turned to search her out and saw her. She lay by one of the larger trees, her head on her knees, arms wrapped around her legs. A single shaft of light fell through the branches and danced along the strands of her hair which mingled with the tall grass. She'd fallen asleep.  
  
Wrenching away his gaze. Heero forgot his momentary panic and sad down cross-legged a safe distance away from her. He began to type in the information she had given him. The satellite link up would allow him to communicate with the rest of the team, but he only wanted to use it once. No need to risk being intercepted. He stole a glance at her. Once, twice. How could she sleep so peacefully after all the horrors she had witnessed. When he caught himself simply staring at her for the third time, idly wondering what it would be like to have her sleeping just like that against his chest, he sternly re-centered himself on his computer screen. "The mission is all that counts." he repeated. From then on he refused to even look at her, even though he could feel her presence along every nerve. The shadows had nearly disappeared before he allowed himself a quick glance in her direction. She still sat there, but warm eyes now looked back at him from under a set of heavy lids. She blinked slowly, brushing her lashes against her cheeks, and asked in a voice still thick with sleep, but no less beautiful than before;  
  
"How long have I been asleep?"  
  
"About three hours." Heero replied. Two hours, and forty-eight minutes. But he was a soldier. Keeping track of time was part of the training. He tried to keep working, but he could feel her watching him. Now that she was awake, he could feel her presence even more, she was EVERYWHERE! Knowing those eyes were on him was almost more than he could bear, but he never missed a keystroke.  
  
He heard a movement and look up to catch Releena, arms stretched above her, on the middle of a yawn. Heero noticed her wings didn't stretch the same way. Whatever muscles they used weren't connected to her arms. She looked back at him sheepishly.  
  
"Is there anything else you need to know?"  
  
Heero looked away and keyed in the last command that would send the information skyward before closing the laptop and answering her question.  
  
"No.: A short pause ensued, in which he refused to raise his eyes.  
  
"Will you tell me your name?" The quiet question was unexpected. Rule number one was never let anyone see you. Rule number two was don't ever reveal your identity. Don't tell her your name. Don't tell...  
  
"Heero Yui." what compelled him to answer? Why, when she spoke, did he want to forget everything and lose himself in the rhythm of her words. She smile a sad, wistful smile, hauntingly beautiful.  
  
"My name is Releena Peacecraft. Thank you for fighting to free us." A simple speech, but it gained an elegance when spoken in her voice. After this, conversation was again at an end. Releena was obviously a creature of the night, for as the sun rose higher, she found a darker shadow underneath the vines, and, arranging her wings around her as best she could, went back to sleep.  
  
Heero kept his back to her, and reopened his laptop. But he could feel her like a warm breath against his skin. It was madness. That's what she was, pure madness. Finally he gave up. He couldn't work, not knowing if her eyes were open or closed. Not knowing if she watched him or slept, if she smiled or frowned. He moved to rest his back against the oak where she had sat when he returned. He reminded himself that the mission remained incomplete until that evening when the troops arrived, and he should rest until then. He relaxed each muscle, but Heero kept his eyes on the girl sleeping a bare six feet away from him. She filled his thoughts, and when he finally allowed himself to sleep, she filled his dreams as well.  
  
He woke up entirely at four o'clock. He'd been aware of the changes of the guard, and he could hear the beginnings of distant shoutings. Heero stood up, carefully stretching, and stepped forward to stand by Releena. She had fallen asleep curled up on her side, trying to keep her wings from pushing into the ground. He'd half expected that she would tuck her head beneath one wing as the swan she resembled, but her back muscles were obviously too destroyed to manage that type of flexibility. As he stood there, he could see her begin the stir. Suddenly she sat bolt upright with a gasp and an almost frantic look on her face. When she finally seemed to be aware of him, Heero gestured at her to be quiet. Releena's look of confusion slowly changed to understanding, but as she began to hear the sounds of distant shouting and the low rumble of airships, she looked at him with curiosity bordering on fear, but still filled with that trust from before. Heero nodded and look away. Careful sabotage had been activated, and he was eager to start the fight.  
  
Heero walked calmly to the wall. The battle had begun; time to get out. Soon there would be an end to this diabolical experiment. Once on top of the catwalk, a small noise made him turn to see Releena scrambling up over the wall, eyes wide as she looked at the two guards he had dispatched that lay crumpled at his feet.  
  
Heero could hear Duo's helicopter closing in on them. The helicopter slowly circled around and soon hovered above them. As the ladder swung past, he carelessly grabbed it. He stayed facing Releena. The wind from the helicopter whipped her wings around her, and her hair blew violently across her face. She looked like she was waiting for him to do something. Impulsively, he stretched out his hand towards her.  
  
Releena hesitantly put her hand in his. He pulled her roughly to him, and gave Duo the signal, then wrapped his free hand protectively around Releena's waist. As they began to rise, a sharp gasp escape the girl he held tight in his arms. She grabbed onto him and buried her face in his chest. Her wings streamed out around them, loose feathers raining down on the castle below. Heero looked down at the golden head so close to him, and at the bright eyes now squeezed shut. He almost felt the urge to smile. An angel who was afraid of heights. Duo would appreciate the joke. For once, Heero wasn't thinking of the battle ahead of him, but of the precious girl he carried in his arms.  
  
  
  
AN: there, I've finished it and now I actually get to submit it. Huzzah! But what did you think? Like it? Hate it? Too out there, not out there enough. Please write to me and tell me . E-mail is a wonderful thing and mine is evilbunniesrock@hotmail.com. Also, do you think I should try and continue this story? What I'm thinking of doing is writing a companion piece to this, the same series of events but from Releena's point of view. Write to me and help me decide what to do! 


	2. Winged

Winged

By EvilBunny    

            Disclaimer: nope. Not mine. But the following e-mail address is: evilbunniesrock@hotmail.com send me reviews(or post, posting works too)! Pretty please?

            Quick explanation. This is the same story as flightlessness, but from Releena's POV. So it starts at basically the same time, and continues on to the same ending. You can read it as a stand alone, or go find flighlessness and read it first. I would have just added this to it, but NO, can't work out how to do that since I classified Flight. as a one-shot all those ages ago. Gaah. If someone can help with that, please, do so! 

The rain beat steadily down upon the think green canopy that swayed high above her head, slowly dripping through. One drop broke through the intertwined branches to splash against the bare skin of the girl that lay sprawled amidst the overgrown grass. Releena lay face down in the dirt, her limbs splayed about her. She rested one check full against the ground, and slowly breathed in the clean scent of wet earth and water-soaked forest, barely aware of the droplet that traced a spidery path along her calf.

Golden strands of hair, dirty from lack of washing, drifted past her shoulders to pool about her. Even in its unwashed state, the hair seemed to shimmer in the shadows. Small eddies of the violent wind came down from off the walls of her sanctuary to play in the patterns her pale strands made amidst the grass. The wind drifted along her cheek, and mixed with the white feathers which lay to either side of her head. Two massive wings rose from her back, to fall on either side of her, as if too heavy for so slight a girl to lift. Where they broke from her back, a mass of scars, old blue to angry red, sat in angry evidence.  Caught between the delicate quills, water droplets sat glistening in the fading light, looking for all the world like decorations of some elaborate masquerade from which she had forgotten to remove her jewel studded costume. Lying in the last of the day's light, she seemed a fallen angel, a forgotten gift; her shallow breathing was the only evidence that she still lived. As the last of the sun's rays slid past her eyes, dragging a curtain of shadow behind them, a light hazel peeked out from behind the dark lashes.

            Once again unable to sleep, Releena stared at the blade of grass that lay barely beyond her nose. Always elusive, even when sleep did come it only brought nightmares and memories to haunt her rest. She shifted slightly, trying to ease the weight of her wings into a more comfortable position, and let out a hiss as the movement sent pain shooting along her back. An angry red welt lay along her spine, nestled between the old scars and fading bruises from countless previous operations. Countless except that she could remember each and every one. Whatever they'd done this time refused to heal cleanly, but she refused to take their drugs. A small act of rebellion, but the only act they allowed her. She had tried them once, surrounded by the pain she'd given in to the temptation of a senseless oblivion, but instead found herself trapped in a swirling world of dark shadows and remembered, half-hidden pain, unable to escape. Even months after clawing out of that maelstrom of unconscious horror, the small white pills beside her meal sent shivers through her. Now she simply took the medicine and hid them under a convenient loose flagstone. She doubted that they would really care about her refusal to take their drugs, but the idea of being forced to take them kept her cautious. Better not to draw attention to her refusal at all.

            Releena gave a shudder as yet another drop of cold rain dropped onto her neck. She needed to move deeper into the overgrown mass of trees that had once been a private garden, before she got any wetter. She refused to even think about returning inside unless the cold became unbearable. Even though two doors, a flight of stairs, and multiple layers of insulation separated her from the experimental holding cells, she still felt as though she could hear the screams through the wood and stone. Pain had left its mark, engraving itself on every fiber of the building and spending time in the castle plucked harshly at her soul. During the few months the cold drove her inside, Releena climbed high into the rafters, creating a nest of blankets as far from the tainted floor as possible. 

            As full darkness began to roll across Releena's solitary brambles, she slowly pushed herself up. Kneeling, her arms fully extended before her, she rested, before finally sitting back onto her haunches, sweeping her wings back behind her.  The wings rose up to either side, acting as a natural frame. Fully extended, they almost grazed the lower branches of the tree above her, before closing clumsily along her back. She stood slowly, arms outstretched to keep her balance, and walked lightly amidst the heavy trees and overgrown grass before settling beneath an old oak. Curling herself amidst the massive roots, she draped her wings around her for added warmth. There would be no moonlight tonight, as heavy clouds boiled across the sky. Through the leaves, she could make out the small lantern light hanging above the garden door and underneath the steady patter of rain, Releena could just make out the faint click of military boots moving along the catwalk; the sentry was making his rounds. 

            Though secure behind her greenery, and already hidden by the shadows, Releena shrank closer to the tree behind her, holding her breath, her heartbeat a shade quicker than before. She stayed motionless until the measured paces had passed her, and faded away. A light breeze traveled down through the branches, and wafted gently against her cheek. Slowly, she closed her eyes, hoping that if she just rested a little, and drifted into a wakeful sleep, she'd be alright. She could still hear the measured tread of the sentries at each passing of the guard, but still the nightmares came.     

            "Christine was crying again. Tears poured from her eyes, salty river whose dams were broken, they split over her cheeks to fall onto the floor. Torture sobs ripped from her throat and two raw wounds lay open on her back. Releena stood, helpless to ease her pain; for there was no hope to give. Still, Releena reached out to her, to offer what comfort companionship could bring. As her hand reached Christine's shoulder, the smaller girl convulsed with a sharp cry, white feathers now crawled from the cuts along her shoulder blades, pouring out tinged red from blood.  The feathers cascaded down, and kept coming and coming and now the pain exploded in Releena's own back. She felt them falling, and dragging her downwards. She lay curled on the floor, eyes wide, watching as Christine slit her wrists, unable to move. Christine's body fell beside her, already lifeless, and her dead eyes met Releena's, staring, and the blood spilled out along the floor, coming towards her, creeping and sucking along the cement." 

            Releena jolted awake. She lay still, breathing in great gasps of air, one after another. She hadn't even known that Chris had committed suicide until days after the fact, when she overheard the doctors talking. That was when she'd realized that out of all of them, only she had survived. All the other children from the orphanages for this experiment had died, from one reason or another. She, however, had been a complete success; a near-perfect melding of bird DNA and human. Lucky her.

            A soft rustling came from behind her, and to the right, from somewhere along the wall. Someone was in her garden. A convulsive shudder grasped her, the spasm twitching her wings out and nearly unfurling them to an outstretched position. They had come for her again. They had come for her again; for more tinkering and tests. 

            As her feathers began to settle, and the shadows of her nightmares cleared, Releena listened more carefully to the furtive sounds coming from around her. The intruder walked in near silence, only the occasionally small rasp of thorns against clothing and faint rustle betraying his presence. Combined with the still steady rain, only a girl so used to this solitary garden would have distinguished his progress from the wind. The guards would never have made such an effort at caution. They knew she had nowhere to run. Nor would they already be at the end of the garden, for the walled area had only one door. 

            A moment of indecision followed; should she stay hidden in the depth of the tangles, or venture out to investigate the intrusion. It had been so long since she had seen another person who wasn't affiliated with the mad schemes that gripped the entire castle. Perhaps this was finally her chance for escape. Releena's lips curled in a faint smile at the idea. That was a dream she only had when she was awake, and she thought she had long ago suppressed it. Even if she ever found someone with the ability to help her, with her luck they wouldn't. Releena glanced down at the wings whose ends now trailed about her legs. The doctors had successfully separated her from the rest of humanity. Three failed attempts at escape had also made it clear she couldn't get out on her own. She'd never even made it far enough away to give her any hope. There simply wasn't anywhere to run; the entire countryside cowered under the experimenters control. Also, one more failed attempt and they'd told her they'd wipe her mind. After all, they only wanted her modified body, and they couldn't have her damaging herself by trying to escape. Still, obviously the dream of escape wouldn't die.

            Releena rose gingerly, and retraced her steps out of the thicket. If this intruder could give her hope for release, she would have to risk it. She could hear him slowly making a tour of the perimeter, surely searching for something. He would arrive at the door soon enough, she would wait for him there. 

            The metal door gleamed before her, and Releena stopped behind one of the large trees that ringed the clearing by the door. The stealthy sounds slowly grew nearer as the unknown figure approached, but every few moments Releena would lose the sound and beat down panic. What was she doing? She should be deep in her forest sanctuary, hidden, protected from whatever had wandered in. Finally she heard the sounds come to a rest only a few meters away. The Unknown had reached the door at last, and would vanish through it in just a few moments. Releena could feel the presence through the tree, and unable to resist the urge to know, snuck a peek. The look was brief as thought, a mere twist of her head around the trunk, barely long enough for her eyes to focus on the boy silhouetted in front of the door. Unruly brown hair fell about his face, and he held himself with the calm assurance found only in those who have no doubt in their own abilities; the look the young trainees tried so desperately to achieve. Crouched in the darkness, in rain-soaked clothes, he still exuded a sense of strength and carefully controlled danger. Quick as her look was, in the second she stared at him he already began to turn towards her. Releena ducked back behind her sheltering tree, her heart thumping in her chest so loudly it drowned out every other sound. If he moved towards her now, she wouldn't have even heard him. Desperately she tried to get her racing heart and quickened breathing under control, hoping that still falling rain would hide the soft explosions of air from her lungs. She could feel him searching for her, searching the darkness where she had stood. Gripping her fingers into the bark before her, she pressed her cheek against its comforting roughness, closing her eyes. She fought to move forward and every muscle sang with her desire to step out and meet those eyes that quested for her, to discover what was behind them and what he wanted. And if he would help her. She had no doubt that he could, in the two seconds she'd seen him, Releena was already convinced there was nothing he could not do.  But if he would was another question. He had obviously come here for reason, and that reason was just as obviously not her. Fear of rejection battled with hope. She scrunched her eyes tighter, she didn't think she could bear being trapped here forever, or ever forgive herself if she let this one chance pass her by. 

            Releena's eyes snapped open as the soft sound of a closing door filtered through the night air, and she bolted from her place of concealment to find the space where he'd stood empty her shadow the only one falling in sharp relief against the bright metal. She'd lost her chance. Despair rose like a wave, ready to crash over her. It was almost easier to try and pretend that he had just been a dream, a vision brought on by lack of sleep and high-strung nerves. The hope still pumping through her veins with each too rapid heartbeat was almost painful. Hope that he'd come back out of that door and save her. 

            Any number of things could go wrong with her half-formed plan, as everything hinged around the unknown motives and capabilities of that one boy. He might never come out of that door. He could be killed, join the enemy, or even simply exit out of any number of different ways. Still, Releena realized she didn't believe he would do any such thing. She already trusted him, trusted he would come back for her. 

            The damp leaves about her feet shifted as she slowly sunk back into a sitting position behind the tree, curling her toes into the moss. Gingerly she arranged her wings to either side, both to block the wind and to try and keep her raw back from rubbing against the rough bark. She didn't know how long she had to wait.

            -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            The dark ridges of the oaken trunk rasped against the tender skin along the base of her wings. They never let the wounds fully heal; always trying to understand why she'd been the only one to survive the wing growth. She was still the only one. Shivering, Releena drew her legs up and wrapped her arms around them, resting her cheek against the cool skin of her knee. She wished they would just give up. Sometimes she even thought they had. They'd leave her alone for weeks, with only the appearance of her meals as a sign that she was not wholly forgotten. But they would invariably come back to her whenever some lull in production, or inconvenient question sent them back to the problem of flight. Once, between the pain and the drugs they pumped through her, she'd overheard that a second test group had all failed. All dead except the one girl, whose body had completely rejected the avian DNA. Releena truly was the only survivor. 

            A drop of water fell onto her face, and gently slid down her cheek. The rain had already found her, and where one drop fell, others would soon follow. Releena let out a sigh, and hoped that the mysterious young man would return before she became thoroughly soaked. She peered around the tree once more, glaring at the metal door, willing him to come back out. Briefly she debated waiting for him inside, but the bare room behind the door could furnish no hiding places. She leaned back against the oak, only to look back around again seconds later. What if he managed to slip by without her noticing, disappearing before she had a chance to speak with him? Nervously she fingered the edge of her tattered dress. Would it be easier to simply sit where she had a clear view of the door? But that would put her in plain view, not only of him when he finally arrived, but also of the guards. The habits of secrecy were still too strong, and Releena resettled herself against the tree, her hearing alert for the faintest sign of her hero's return. At least he needn't worry that she might drift off to sleep. The chance that she had waited so long for thrilled through her. Finally, finally, she had a real chance for freedom. A real chance to wake up from her nightmares.

            But she wouldn't have that chance if he never came back out, she thought impatiently, letting out yet another sigh. Anything could have happened to him. Releena closed her eyes, and tucked herself tighter into the protective arch of her wings. He had to come back for her, he just had to.

            Another drop fell onto her head, burrowing into the honeyed strands. Above her, the skies were finally beginning to clear, seemed she wouldn't be drenched after all. Not like that would matter if he didn't come back. Why couldn't she have just spoken to him when she'd had the chance? If he never came back, she would lose her chance, her only hope.

            As the clouds dissipated, Releena turned her face upwards to the sky. The moon had not yet set, and she stared blindly at its surface, praying for this hope to be true, and in the absence of sound, she heard the soft sound of a door closing. Without thinking, she stood up and stared towards the door. There! Brown hair, confident stance, he stood outlined once more before the door, standing motionlessly, staring out into the dark. With a jolt she realized he was searching the garden for something. For someone. For her. 

            Suddenly his gaze swung towards her, and he lifted up his hand. He had the most beautiful eyes she could ever remember seeing. He spoke, and she let the words flow over her. Calmly, she listened to him proclaim her imminent destruction, and only then did she realize he held a small handgun pointed straight towards her heart. Gently she stepped out from behind her shelter. Perhaps he knew what she only feared, that her only freedom lay in a bullet embedded in her chest. Perhaps that was the salvation she sensed in him, a release from the prison of her warped body. The one escape she'd never had the courage to take, was that what he brought her?

            Releena stood before him and could feel every blade of grass against her feet, each solitary velvety piece, and the soft dirt beneath her toes, saw each drop of water on each green leaf. The boy faced her, silent and grave, impassable, strong. His blue eyes called to her, and she stepped further from the protective shadows. If he was the last person she would ever see before her soul fled, she wanted to remember every detail, to let him know she was grateful to leave at his hands instead of dying alone, surrounded by her jailers.

            The pale moonlight now shone, casting delicate shadows among his features, adding a subtle luminance to his skin. He stood, her dark angel, her deliverance. Hesitantly, she took another step. Around her, the garden the night, all seemed to be slowly fading away, the soft silvery tones of shadows growing gray and unimportant, her eyes were full of him. Still, her body clung to the only world it knew, and her skin felt alive to every change in the air. A gust of wind crawled along her skin, teasing her hair from behind her ears, and drifting along her arms. 

            The boy spoke again. Releena watched his lips form each word, form her destiny. From where she stood, she could almost see her own reflection in his eyes. As he uttered the last word, the echoes it made still sounded in her heart. But as she stood there, the heavy tread of marching feet broke through the almost magic stillness. The guard's patrol was back, they were coming. Panic bloomed. They were coming and she was in the open, they would see her. They would see HIM. She couldn't let them. They always took everything that was hers, everything she loved. She couldn't let them have him too.

            Releena grabbed his wrist, and fled deeper into the garden, the only place of safety she had. Even as her feet beat along the well-known paths, and her ears strained for any change in the rhythm of the footsteps along the catwalk, Releena knew her heart pounded for quite another reason. She could feel a warm sensation all along the hand that loosely held his wrist. He was real. She hadn't slipped into some waking dream, finding solace in madness and surrendering reality for a gentler insanity. He was real. She held that thought to her, felt the never articulated fear that lived within her, that she would forego reason and escape into her own mind, unable to deal anymore, fall awayfrom her heart, disintegrating to dust.

            Gratefully Releena sank into her favourite grotto, kept dry by the intricate weavings of leaves above their heads, and she tugged him down beside her.  He knelt silently, so close she could feel his warmth radiating all along her right side. So close to him, she couldn't help but hope he hadn't truly come to kill her. He'd brought hope with him, and she wanted to cherish his presence as long as possible.

            Suddenly shy, she focused her attention on the guard passing above them. The boy hadn't shot her, and she knew he'd had the chance. Now unsure what his goal was, she felt insecure about where she would fit in. After all, she was the remnants of an experiment, leftover pieces. But she could feel his breath fanning against her cheek, and as she turned to face him, she saw his eyes, dark with emotion, staring at her back. She knew what she saw, knew the strangeness of her wings. But he wasn't staring at the unreal whiteness of her plumage, simply at her shoulders, where the scars ran heavy and thick. He seemed so lost, and so angry, staring at the marks etched in her skin, that Releena felt the last of her wariness vanish. Here sat someone who cared; whom she could trust. Slowly, she began to speak. She told him of the operations, of the other children, of pitiless guards and doctors deaf to pleas for help. And all the while she watched his eyes, watched the emotions sweep across them; anger and determination, but never pity. Yes, he would be the savior of them all. He had to understand that.

            'But you're here to finally stop them, aren't you?" she said. "You'll put an end to it all."She knew she was right. Even though he might not be able to save her, even if she was too far gone, the castle would never be the same. He brought change with him like a storm, the experiments, the pain, the altered-soldiers; he would wipe them all away. Burn away the fear with his fierceness.  

            But he was standing up, moving upwards slowly, moving away from her. For a second time, without thinking, she gave in to her instincts once again, and wrapped her hand around his wrist. Her fingers stood out against his skin, a band of white against the dark tan of his arm and she almost lost herself in the pulse she felt right under her thumb, but she couldn't let him leave. Not now. Not only for herself, but to protect him. There were rules about this castle, you couldn't just be found out late at night. Disappearances were normal, common even, but if they saw him now, if he reappeared, the alarm would be raised in no time. 

            She knew she couldn't restrain him physically, but maybe she could offer information, something to keep him with her. Speaking quietly, she slowly drew him back down beside her. She spoke steadily, tell him everything she knew of the castle's defenses and secret passages, anything she thought he could use in its destruction. Living in the shadows of her trees, she heard more than would be suspected, more even than she'd realized. Under his quiet gaze, she recalled overheard conversations of guards on duty and glimpses of reinforcements. She even told him the information from the walls in the operating rooms, numbers from the charts that she'd read while trying to stay conscious. As she poured out words, she filled herself with his presence. She hadn't spoken for months except to scream or beg that she almost felt amazement that she could chatter now so surely. He sat barely a foot away from her and as she spoke, she watched him; watched one hand play with the long grass by his leg, strong fingers that never broke the slender strands. That was his only movement. Even in her grotto, he kept almost perfectly still, as if wary of anyone who was watching. Only the barely visible rise and fall of his chest, and the toying with the grass betrayed him. She could almost imagine she felt his breath each time his chest fell, and inhaled softly, trying to capture a small taste of him.  

            Marching feet of the patrols came and went, and Releena kept talking, smiling slightly if she even noticed. The urge to hide, to curl up into a tiny ball and disappear was gone. Releena felt calm. She felt safe, a sensation she hadn't known since her parents' death. Calm and relaxed, she accepted that the future would come, but not yet. For now, she would just sit here, in the night, and he would sit next to her. 

Dawn light finally began to filter down past the ramparts, lightening the sky and bouncing off the dew that had gathered in his hair, glistening sleepily. She'd spoken for hours, and her throat had begun to complain. Muscles in her cheeks ached too, unused to prolonged speech. One of her legs had fallen asleep, and she shifted, trying to unobtrusively bring it back to life. The slight movement brushed her wings against the bark, where the feathers caught and tugged, pulling sharply. Releena grimaced. The damn things could never give her even a moment's peace.

A movement across from her caught her attention. The boy, who had been so still through out the night, had stood up. Abruptly his crisp words rang out in the dawn stillness. 

"My team needs to know this. Wait here." Then he was gone, striding through the undergrowth before being swallowed seconds later by her garden, sinking into the dawn shadows with hardly a ripple. Releena stared at the place where he had sat, waiting for the fear, the panic, to return. After a few moments, she stood uncertainly and began to stretch muscles cramped from long hours of stillness. She felt the same warmth and serenity as when he was near, and for the first time in far too long, she felt sleepy. Not exhausted or drained, just a sweet heaviness in her limbs. He'd told her to wait until his return, and she knew he'd come back. Whatever he was here for, he hadn't finished it, and already she knew he wouldn't leave a job half-finished.         

The oak tree that had sheltered her earlier that night lay directly beside her, and Releena sank gratefully between itsw gnarled roots. She would just rest a little while waiting for him. With the intruder no longer consuming all her attention, the garden slowly came alive around her. The small birds that had woken with the sun flitted through the upper branches, and Releena knew that they would soon attack the wet earth for their breakfast. Fearless, they went through their daily lives, unaware and uncaring of the atrocities beneath their little feet. Bravery comes so easily to the innocent. Releena absently watched one robin drenched in dew as he fluffed his feathers before taking flight to another tree. Feathers he was born with on wings that were natural. The shy courtship of young sparrow couple caught her attention, their care-free overtures, sweet and full of promise, filled the air. As rays of sunshine filtered down through the leaves, the glade come alive with light; sparks thrown from leaves still crowned with last nights droplets. She'd forgotten how beautiful this place was. As she closed her eyes, she could still feel the light caressing her face.

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The shadows had changed. In fact, they had almost disappeared. The warm light of late morning slid over everything, and seemed to gather around the seated figure directly before her. He'd come back. He faced away from her, but she still felt the draw of him, the comfort his very presence brought. From the force of focused attention he had leveled at the small computer he had seated in his lab, he'd clearly sat there for quite some time. He'd been with her all morning while she'd slept. The fresh light revealed the rich brown of his hair, and danced along the strong muscles of his back and arms. Releena traced the light's path with her eyes, reveling in his reality. She still almost half expected him to fade away at any moment.

As if sensing her gaze, the young man glanced in her direction, but didn't speak. She wanted to hear him speak. To have him vanquish with the words the last lingering suspicion that he was merely a cruel hallucination. She had so much she wanted to know, but instead asked the only question her still groggy mind could formulate.

"How long have I been asleep?"

The reply was prompt and brief. "About three hours."

A thrill ran through her. Three hours? She had slept through an entire three hours, safe and free from the dreams the always plagued her. She hadn't slept like that since her days in before her arrival here, in the orphanage. No, that wasn't true. Even in the orphanages she had often fallen asleep with tears in her eyes, and awoken no more refreshed than when she had finally drifted off. She could dimly recall the sensation of awakening secure and satisfied, and although she knew there would be no pancakes with syrup today, suddenly mornings that were a joy to wake up t no longer seemed laughably impossible.

Releena yawned in contentment, stretching her arms above her head and filling her lungs with the garden air. The muscles along her shoulders twinged in warning from this unexpected movement, but Releena ignored them for the sheer novelty of awaking rested and refreshed, reveling in the new sensation. Midway through, as she opened her eyes, she met the young man's gaze. He sat looking at her quizzically, and Releena fell back with a jolt into the awareness of the great white wings that rose to either side of her. Caught with her arms outstretched and her mouth open, she sheepishly returned her hands to her lab, and asked him haltingly if here was any other information she could give him.

"No." Was the only reply that rumbled out of his chest. Idly, Releena wondered how the rumble of his speech would sound with her ear pressed against him, his hand absently running through her hair. She wanted to know, wanted to feel everything he did. With a jolt, Releena realized she had given her heart and soul to a boy who's name she didn't even know. She smiled at her own forgetfulness.

            "I just realized I never asked you your name." She said, trailing off wistfully. She hadn't realized she'd spoken loud enough to be heard, until she saw him tense. Baka. She hadn't meant for her wistful desire for a glimpse of his identity to be voiced yet. She didn't want to push him. Trust could come later. She couldn't expect him to sense the same faith in her that she had in him. Honestly, it wasn't that important. She would simply find out later.

            "Heero Yui." 

            He'd answered. Releena took the name and wrapped herself around it, hugging it close. The taunt muscles along his back still did not relax, but he'd still told her his name. 

            "My name is Releena Peacecraft." She quietly replied, but that didn't seem enough. She felt he deserved so much more than simply her name, she wanted to show him that he'd given her back the world. "Thank you for fighting to free us." she added. It wasn't nearly enough, but it was the best she could do. The exchange complete she felt his attention return to the laptop, and contentment return to her. Satisfied, Releena felt again an unaccustomed drowsiness. After a brief struggle to remain awake, she decided to take advantage of the calm Heero seemed to bring with him and crawled beneath some hanging ferns. Out of the sunlight, the dark green leaves closed around her, and what light remained made shifting patterns on her skin as the wind blew. A stray feather from her back stood out beside her in sharp relief against the dark earth and before drifting off, she fixed her gaze on Heero, her eyes drowsily peering out from behind the foliage. But the novelty of sweet sleep beckoned, and she gently succumbed.

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            Colours and warmth. Butterfly wings and weightlessness. Releena swam in beauty and light, flitting from abstract joy to the concrete sensation of being held and wanted, her wings nothing more than an insubstantial shimmer. Soft music slid like liquid about her, trailing around her angles and wrists and coiling about her waist. She hung suspended in happiness, eyes open and peaceful, as about her images danced by in the swirling mass, peaceful and joyful all at once. True harmony. Time had no meaning, but slowly, so slowly she barely noticed, the liquid strands that hung about her began to thicken, to tighten. First around her wrists, then her ankles, then all the rest of her, hardening and grasping at her. Gravity began to reassert itself, she felt the suddenly binding cords biting into her skin, crawling about her neck. Even her wings were bound, and they, they were no longer a shimmer, but again the dead weight of reality, now covered in this viscous substance, unable to move. Her hair fell forward into her face as the gravity pulled her, but through the pale, obscuring haze she could see the colours were gone, replaced by the grey of the catacombs beneath the castle. Screaming would be useless, she knew this, but still she felt the scream building in her throat, each breath a choking battle as she fought to keep it down. A sudden staccato noise broke her suffocating stillness, as her bonds, now brittle and weak, shattered around her and she plummeted downwards, wings trailing uselessly behind her...

            ..to awaken back into greenery. Releena kept her eyes on the leaf canopy,  trying to calm her breathing. Slowly she refocused on the garden around her; someone was looking at her. Heero. He gestured for her to be silent, and she instinctively obeyed. As the beating of her heart slowly receded from her ears, Releena became aware of the sharp blasts of machine guns coming from a distance and the hurrying of military feet. Had the attack begun? Heero replied to her questing gaze only with a nod, and calmly walked towards the nearest wall. Releena watched him go, realizing only as he leaped up to grab a hold of the catwalk and swing himself atop it that he meant to leave. He couldn't LEAVE, not without her. The world narrowed onto his retreating figure, and Releena stood, shaking off the remnants of her dream she ran to the wall. Old, crumbling stone offered a wealth of hand and toe-holds, but as she hastily began to climb, she could feel her wings pulling behind her, trying to dislodge her. Each movement was a careful juggle of weight to keep her from falling backwards into her prison. She'd lose him for sure if she had to start again. 

            Finally she clambered over the ledge, finding Heero alone like an avenging angel over two crumpled bodies. He'd already taken care of the guards. So easy. He would have escaped so easily, and she'd been trapped so long.

            From above the loud beating of a helicopter came closer, the air from its descent almost enough to push her off her feet. When the kicked up dust had calmed, a rope ladder had appeared in Heero's hand; Releena had been too busy trying to keep her wings still to have noticed its lowering. Now she kept her eyes on him, willing him to take her with him. He was her rescuer.                  

Heero stared back with a fierce intensity, but remained motionless, like a statue made from living flesh. When he suddenly held out his hand, she stood staring dumbly at the upward palm for a moment before reaching out her own hand to his, caught off-guard. As her hand settled in his, his strong fingers curled about her wrist. There was no going back. For a brief instance she felt a crippling fear. With all her pain, all the changes, and most obvious, her unavoidable wings, could she truly reenter the outside world? But Heero had already pulled her against him, releasing her hand to grasp her around the waist. The ladder took a sharp leap upwards, and as her feet left the ground, Releena let out a gasp and clung to the boy who already held her securely, tucking her feet beside his on the lowest rung.. Too much like her dream, she again felt the pull of gravity as she seemed to float in the air, and burrowed her face in his shirt. But this time, he was the one who held her up, and she knew he would never let her fall. He held her safe inside the protection of his arms, and as they went higher, Releena closed her eyes and concentrated on the steady beat of the heart just beneath her ear.

Authors notes: there should be another part to this written up fairly soon, continuing along this story. (fairly soon probably being quite a while, but not as long as between Flightlessness and Winged.) If you find any inaccuracies between the two, please tell me and I'll try and be good and fix them. But please, tell me what you think! 


	3. Found

Found 

By EvilBunny 

Disclaimer: Gundam wing isn't mine. But you already knew that.

The helicopter shook as Duo veered around yet another pair of battling mecha. The sounds were deafening, like riding in the midst of a violent storm, yet flying through a sun-lit sky. Blinking lights surrounded her, the walls seemed to be covered with controls, and the constant changing dazzled what little of Releena's vision wasn't filled with a rustling white. Her feathers blinded and cocooned her, the thin bones of her wings bent at strange ankles about her in an attempt to fit inside the small cockpit and not block the vision of the two pilots. Releena couldn't even hear hints of the conversation from the front, if any was even going on. She clung to the memory of Heero's heartbeat, his protective warmth, and watched for the occasional glimpse of his dark hair from between fighting feathers who seemed to take a vicious pleasure in hiding him from her. 

The copter went back into hover and went into a sudden descent. Someone, Releena didn't see who, threw open the heavy side door, letting in a heavy torrent of wind that whipped a number of dancing feathers past her nose and set her entire body shaking. She felt as if her wings were trying to crawl out her back and fly away without her, as unwilling to be with her as she to be with them. She bit her lip to keep from crying out, from begging them to shut the door, and only realized she'd drawn bloody when the coppery taste seeped into her mouth. Even her hair had declared war against her, attacking her eyes and face, each strand a separate claw, as she futilely tried to clamp down on her wings, to keep them folded.

When her vision abruptly, Releena looked up to find Heero staring distractedly over her head back towards the other pilot, his arms pining her wings along her sides, his hands clasped on the small of her back. The tips of her wings still fluttered around their feet, but the masses stayed quiet, as if even her wings thrilled to his touch as much as she did.         In crisp tones, he ordered Duo to cut the engine, and standing so close to him, Releena felt each syllable rumble in his throat before emerging. Finally the tempest of wind died away, but as the roar of the propeller faded, the sounds of fighting became all the clearer. Releena could make out the roar of engines and the scream of bullets as they flew through the air before their attack on armored metal.

            Heero's supporting arms disappeared as abruptly as they'd appeared, and Releena spun around to see him smoothly jumping from the helicopter to the grass below, already flattened by countless other feet. On unsteady feet, still trying to maneuver her bulky wings in the small cabin, she made her way to the door, and looked out to find him staring out across the trees towards the battle. As she readied herself to jump down, praying she wouldn't snag on any equipment, he turned and lifted her down beside him. For the second time in as many minutes, she stood encircled by his strength, his arms warm around her. He hands beneath her elbows stayed warm against her, not so much holding her up as keeping her near him, and she watched the pulse in his throat, keeping the beat in time with hers, to see if they matched. She felt as if her blood pumped in tune with his, running through her veins and jostling for the chance to flow under the skin warmed by his touch. 

            "Take care of her Duo." He threw over his shoulder, as he ran from the clearing, leaving so quickly that Releena reeled from the sudden sense of loss. He seemed to blend immediately into the dappled shadows of the nearby evergreens that surrounded the clearing. In seconds she couldn't even tell where he'd disappeared to. The wave of desolation that swept over her took Releena by surprise. He obviously had to leave, to fight, but the urge to run after him, to beg him not to leave her with strangers, to let her come with him, nearly choked her. 

            "We'd better get you somewhere safer than this" a cheerful voice broke through her spiraling thoughts, and she turned to see the pilot smiling good-naturedly at her. With a last glance over her shoulder, she followed him to the jeep nearby. 

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            The bed was too soft. Even just sitting on it made Releena uncomfortable, made her wonder what _they had in store for her, even though she knew there was no longer a __they. The jeep ride hadn't been long, but the dust and another battle with her wings had made it dirty and tiring. When they'd finally come across an old, deserted country home, she'd been relieved to find that this was the base of operation for the group Heero fought for. Duo had rushed her in a side door, and deposited her in a back room before hurrying back to the battle. _

            "I'm sorry for the mess." He'd apologized, flipping her braid over his shoulder in an obviously habitual gesture. "We'll find you something better after the fighting, but right now everything's crazy." And with a final smile, he'd run off. 

            The bed was huge, a four poster monstrosity complete with dusty bed curtains, and all in a faded crimson. The bed would have dominated the room, except that someone had crammed all the rest of the space with furniture, and rolls of fabric, leaving barely enough room for an inhabitant. Everything had a thick film of dust already on it, and Releena's hands were already grey with dirt. Each time she moved, her wings swept along a surface, or brushed against a corner, and small clouds of dust would rise up and begin to dance in the thick air. Late afternoon sunlight crept like amber liquid through the far windows, but the filthy glass threw the room into near twilight. Only on electrical light, an obvious addition of cheap remodeling cast any illumination of the room, and its glow created unexpected shadows.

            The former inhabitants of this house had probably been run off by, or sucked into, the experiments at the castle. Although she knew there had to be others here somewhere, she'd seen the courtyard filled with military jeeps, the place seemed eerily silent. Old stone walls, only partially visible behind the piles of furniture, said that sound would not carry easily in this place. The entire command center, which she'd glimpsed on her way in, could be below her, and she wouldn't know.  

            No fear she'd be forgotten though. The stares that the few people she'd encountered had made that clear. Do many eyes, questioning, staring. She hadn't been looked at on months, and already her skin felt tender from too much attention. Even the doctors at the castle no longer looked at her, hadn't every really looked at _her, just checked her wings, tried to find something new to tinker with. Now she would be a novelty again, an interesting scientific anomaly, the new sensation. _

            Releena plucked desolately at the feathers that lay beside her on the bed, rubbing the separated quills, and seeing them with the eyes of strangers. The white stood against the faded red of the coverlet, and she ran her fingers along the fine spine of each feather, tracing the length from base to tip. They were long, meant for flight; she'd even acquired the soft, downy feathers near her back Only her bones were wrong. Completely wrong for flight. Instead of hollow like the bird she had been mixed with, her bones were human, human and  heavy. So the weight tore at the muscles that were meant to support them, and the doctors, or madmen, trying to fix those bones, never let her heal. They couldn't just leave her alone. She hoped they had died in the fight. 

            The bitterness of that thought caught her offguard, and Releena stood, trying to find something, anything else, to think about. The action threw even more dust into the air, swirling past her face like a curtain. Why did she always find herself in dusty rooms, forced to wait for an unknown fate? She'd hid in the attic when they came to take her from the orphanage. She knew trouble when she saw him, and military personnel adopting twelve orphans screamed pain, no matter how much money they were willing to pay the orphanage, or the promises they made. They'd finally dragged her out, kicking and biting, covered in dust, and dirt and cobwebs, to their military car. Then, miles later, they'd dragged her out of the car and straight to the operating table. They changed her first. 

            She had to get out of this room. Heero might not return for _hours, and already her past had begun to resurface. The walls seemed to laugh and shift, becoming cold cement that always held the thick, cutting scent of lemon cleaner, and underneath the stronger scent of blood and pain. Shuddering, Releena went in a half run to the door, and fumbled with the doorknob. With a gasp, she threw it open and waited for the panic to recede, grasping at the knowledge that this door wasn't looked, that here she wasn't a prisoner. But the hall to either side stretched onward, empty, without even a window, the carpet pattern repeating seemingly endlessly. _

            Slowly Releena backed into the room, her eyes focused on the open door, until her wings jammed painfully into the bedposts, biting down the urge to flee, to run blindly through the house until she knew they couldn't catch her. She didn't need to run, she needed to stay put, to wait for him to come back, but her muscles spasmed with the need to escape, to claw her way out of the room. This was why they'd given her the garden, to keep her from battering herself against the walls like a moth caught between window panes. Beneath her feet the carpet seemed to burn, soft bristles warm and harsh compared to the cool intensity of dirt and grass. The ceiling hung too low above her head, and she knew that if she stretched her wings they'd brush against the painted ceiling. Releena dug her nails into the maple bedpost, wondering if she could score long lines in the wood, like the scars on her back, of if the wood was stronger than her. 

            The dust continued to dance mockingly about her, and if reveling in her panic, and blindly she turned towards the sun weakly shinning through the dirty window. Craving fresh air, Releena found herself wishing for her garden, her prison, wanting the moonlight and fresh earth and almost forgetting the guards and experiments. With a lurch she avoided the piled and tattered chairs and pitched up against the glass, her fingers leaving long smudges in the grime. Fumbling at the latch, she finally forced the old hinges open, stumbling as the entire window swung outwards onto a small marble balcony, barely small enough for her to take a couple of stumbling steps before sinking down by the stone railing. The courtyard it looked out on was devoid of greenery, only a dry fountain adorned it, the statue long ago broken beyond recognition. The sun shone so much brighter here, and Releena felt a horrible sense of exposure, as if the sun was just another great, burning eye, but the suffocation of the room slowly dissipated. 

            Her fingers curled against the sun warmed stone, still searching for shadow cooled dirt, but the only shadows here cowered like her against the railings, and the sun dazzled her eyes, the rays coming low over the buildings to her right. Releena longed for the night, for something to hide her, and for the comfort of her old trees. Everything was moving too quickly, so fast she could barely comprehend she'd escaped, and he's left her. Left and she didn't know where, and the comfort of his existence that she thought she'd locked into herself had somehow managed to escape. She wanted the darkness to blanket her, to hide what she was, what had been done to her from all the strangers. Wrapping her arms around herself, she shook her head to dislodge this desolation, but the movement barely shifted her dust clogged hair. 

            The light also exposed how dirty she was. In the night, in her garden, she never noticed, didn't care, but now she could see her feathers more grey than white, and the thing patina of dirt that covered her limbs. Even her eyelashes felt heavy with the dust. 

            Releena rested her forehead against the balustrade, threading her fingers through a tiny stem of climbing ivy. The outside walls were buried beneath his brothers, but here, in her reach, only this small cluster of leaves dared grow. At least crouched here she wouldn't be as visible to anyone traveling through the courtyard, or looking out from any of the spying windows. 

            Finally she allowed herself to give in, and a thin trickle of tears slipped out from beneath her lashes. She cried from all the pain and fear and relief and change of the past few hours, and from the almost painful hope of the future.  


	4. Searching

Searching 

By Evil Bunny

The battle had been quick and simple. Unprepared for attack, and near destroyed by the interior sabotage, the castle's defenses had easily fallen, and the destruction of the few enemies that had engaged Heero in battle was not nearly enough draw his attention. Uncooperatively simple, as Heero found that each spare moment sent his thoughts back to a pair of haunted hazel eyes and unexplainable jealousy of Duo.

            Still, Heero avoided return to the base; after all he wanted to be sure that no one from the castle escaped. They'd never hurt her again. Heero blinked; never hurt _anyone again. That was, after all, his mission objective. Nothing to do with the girl from the garden, nothing to do with the way she'd felt in his arms, the smoothness of her skin, or the way he reached for her without thinking. Nothing to do with the way the wind of the helicopter had danced her feathers around him like a caress. Nor was he avoiding the base because he wasn't sure exactly __how he kept finding her in his arms. The mission was all that counted. Still, the dancing sunlight among the treetops made him think of her hair, and the silence of his mecha seemed filled with her soft voice, asking for his return. When a slight puff of air made him think of warm breath against his cheek, he finally gave in and turned like a compass toward the one direction he hadn't allowed himself to take: back towards base, and her. _

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It'd taken Heero longer than he'd thought to find where Duo had put her. Neither of the two aides he'd asked had even heard of Releena, and he'd be damned if he'd describe her as 'a girl with wings'. By the time he'd finally tracked down Duo, snacking away at the canteen, he temper had completely disintegrated and he merely grabbed a fistful of material, slammed him against a wall and snarled

            "Where is she?"

            Duo'd put her in one of the unused wings, away from the controlled chaos of a military and then hadn't bothered to inform anyone one of her location yet. He'd left her completely alone, and suddenly Heero wasn't sure if he was furious that they'd neglected her, guilty that he'd abandoned her, or relieved that no one else had been allowed near her. 

Heero's angry marching finally brought him to the dusty hall Duo'd rapidly described to him between gasps for breath. At least Duo had known exactly who Heero was asking for, and hadn't wasted any time with excuses. Turning the last corner, Heero's battle charged nerves screamed back into full alert when he noticed the door standing open, and the rest of the area deserted. His eyes immediately began scanning for unnoticed dangers, and he cursed Duo again for leaving her alone. On silent feet he inched down the hall, finally coming level to the oaken door, and cautiously entering. Something inside him chilled when he saw the cluttered room was deserted, and every muscle, usually so fluid in any emergency, clenched in something he slowly recognized as fear. 

They'd gotten her somehow.  He hadn't been quick enough, hadn't gotten them all. While he'd been out fighting their distractions, they'd come in through the rear and stolen her back. And Heero knew just how much they'd hurt her. Anger uncurled from his frozen heart, and the his fist unconsciously clenched. He'd need Duo's help to find her, but he'd never forgive him.

But how had they snuck in? Gratefully Heero sunk back into battle trained instincts and calm, scanning the area now for clues instead of the girl he'd hoped to find. The only movement came from the wind playing with the window curtains, and he moved forwards on feet he could no longer feel towards that half hidden breeze, his whole being concentrated on what quickly showed itself as a balcony door.

As he walked past the last pile of discarded furniture, his breath caught in his throat, and he stood still, as if his movement might startle her away. There she was. She sat nearly all in shadow, only the top of her head burnished gold by the sun that had nearly set. From the doorway he could see the vulnerable curve of her back amidst the feathers that pooled around her, the horror's she'd seen painted there, contrasted with the smooth arch of her neck and her face pillowed in her arms. She was safe. 

Heero had to reach out a hand to the door frame to catch himself as his balance deserted him, followed by his worry of the past minute and the tension he hadn't known he'd carried since he'd let her out of his sight. The slight rattle of his hand as it brushed the latch startled her around, and for a moment she sat staring up at him, almost as if she couldn't believe he'd come. Two thin tacks ran down her cheeks, and with a jolt Heero realized she'd been crying. Before he could move, she let out a chocked noise, scrambled to her feet and launched herself at him, burrowing into his chest with enough force to rock him back onto his heels, her wings trailing backwards and finally engulfing them both. He wrapped her arms around her, holding tightly as she began to shake, and trying to see the through the cloud of white, to find what had hurt her. A frantic recall disproved any physical harm, he'd have noticed any new bruises instantly, so that ruled out the more obvious cause for her tears. What did that leave? Within seconds Heero realizied he had no idea what that left. Other than some danger, what other cause could there be? She'd finally stopped shaking, and as small sniffling sounds began to emanate from the curtain of hair, he rested his cheek briefly against her head, amazed at the texture while still puzzling out the source of her distress. Her wings draped over his arms in distracting mounds, fistfuls of feathers that danced along his skin with any breath of wind or slightest motion. 

            He felt her brush closed fists against cheeks, rubbing away the salty residue, before settling back against him, hands once again tightly wound in the fabric of his shirt. 

            "I'm sorry" she sighed, the words muffled by her continued refusal to look at him. Sorry for what? For the second time in as many minutes Heero found himself scrambling for answers to questions he'd never though existed, the distracting smell of honeysuckle throwing most of his thoughts into disarray. 

            Gently she pushed away, and Heero reluctantly let her go, not knowing  how to keep her, or even if he could. With a nervous gesture she ran her fingers through her hair, the motion stopped halfway through when she tangled herself in a snarl, her eyes traveling out past him to the old walls around her. 

            "There's just so much stone." She whispered, finally bringing her eyes to Heero's. The tears still caught in her lashes trapped and reflected the dying blue of the sky, "But I'm alright now, its just so…" she trailed off and gave him a brave smile, and Heero realized he'd been doubly wrong to leave her alone in this new place, as fragile as she seemed, and that he always wanted to be there to sooth her tears, just to see that smile in return. 

            The soft sound of footsteps in the room broke the moment and reawoke all his fears of attack. Surely Duo would know better than to come looking for him. Heero immediately turned to meet the attack, unconsciously placing himself in from of Releena, shielding her from whoever might be coming. 

Notes: I'll warn you now, it will probably be awhile until another update: at the least two weeks, but possibly much longer than that. But to hurry me along, please feel free to review, they really are wonderful motivation. (no, not mean ones, those are just discouraging.)


	5. Hidden

**Hiding **

**Chapter Five**

Evilbunny

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is an anime I do not own. 

            Desperately Releena scrubbed at her face, she didn't know who was coming, but she didn't want to meet them with the evidence of weakness still on her face. She didn't want to meet them at all. Her first instinct brought her wings closed behind her, hopelessly trying to hide them and she looked for the shadows of the trees to sink back into. Only the harsh lines of the stone balcony and the open courtyard met her  and all the fear and isolation she'd thought gone at Heero's return rushed back, dropping like a cloak around her, and she drew it close, trying to muffle the searing white of the wings. But the boy stood before her, protection written in the tense muscles of his back. She couldn't hide, couldn't go back to hating everything and only dreaming of rescue. Rescue had come, she needed to take the freedom and strength he offered.

            With a defiant shake, she spread her wings, letting the last sun rays play along their curves and arcing them above her head, almost seeming to embrace the boy who stood guarding her. The woman who appeared came to a started stop at the sight before her. Her uniform, the same as those she'd seen in the halls, and Heero's cautious relaxation proved that she was part of his organization, but did little to allay Releena's fear. She wasn't to be trusted. Those in uniform seldom were.

            The woman's eyes showed little, cool and professional, but Releena could see the hint of pity behind the dispassionate gaze; pity for the poor deformed child. Already Releena felt her confidence wither, the small reserve already used up. Pity and then what? What emotion would follow in this woman's eyes? Fear? Disgust? Or worst of all, curiousity. With a shudder Releena closed her wings, hoping to avoid that beyond all others. 

            "Please." She thought desperately. "Please don't wonder how. Please, just tell him to take care of me." Slowly she reached out towards him, her hand seeking his. He was her lifeline. Surely they wouldn't take him already.

            But just before she could grasp it, the cool voice of the woman before her broke through:

            "Heero Yui, your report?" and with those words Heero snapped off a salute that stole the hand she'd been reaching for. 

            His reply was calm and concise. "Mission Accomplished. Base destroyed and information obtained. No problems." Releena shivered. How was he going to report her. Why did he have to report her? With a swallow Releena wondered just how many people would he have to report her to? What would happen to her? What would happen to him?

            With a jolt Releena realized that Heero's future might be as uncertain as her own. She took a quick step away from him, suddenly hoping to separate herself from him in the eyes of this commander where moments before she'd wanted to blur the line where he began and she ended. What if she'd tainted him already? If simply by rescuing her, he'd broken some rule, committed some unforgivable sin. Surely this organization frowned on their soldiers bringing home strays from their missions. Especially strays as difficult to deal with as her. With a chill she knew they couldn't just let her go, let her wander off home. she had no home to wander back to, she knew too much. They might disown him. But she couldn't regret going with him, couldn't even pretend she'd try. He'd gotten her out; she would have killed to get away from that prison. A small voiced wondered if she could have killed him, if that had been the only way out, after that one clear-eyed gaze, but she shied away from it. No, she would never regret following him up that wall, whatever these new hands that fate had flung her into decided. But she wouldn't drag him down any further, and she hesitantly too another step away from him, her eyes fixed on the stone beneath her feet, concentrating on the gritty and still sun-warmed feel beneath her dirty feet, trying to ignore the sinking feeling that seemed to grow the further from him she got, all as Heero's voice continued his report.

            When she heard him state "she says her name is Releena Peacecraft" Releena's startled gaze finally rose again to his face, before she quickly lowered it again, folding her arms tightly around herself. She'd known he'd have to come to her at some point. But why "she _says?" did he trust her so little? What had she done to lose him so quickly? Maybe she'd never had him. That this connection she felt was merely in her head, that she would have fallen for anyone who'd saved her. Maybe she really was just part of his job._

            "Releena?" she again started, and looked up to find the woman smiling kindly at her, gaze somewhat questioning. 

            "Hai?" she replied, hesitant as to what would come next, determined not to look at Heero, only to see him uncaring. Maybe it didn't matter what they did to her. 

            "I'm Lieutenant Noin." The woman seemed momentarily at a loss, looking hopelessly at the frightened girl, the silent boy, and the wings that overshadowed them both, until looking back at Releena's face, and the dirt smudges that seemed to hide half of it she gave a sigh and said the only thing she could think of.

            "Would you like a bath while we wait for what will happen next?"

            Releena's  hand flew to her dirty hair, consciousness of her appearance aside from her wings flooding through her as a blush stained her cheeks. Not only had Heero brought back a winged intruder, she looked like a ragamuffin: filthy, ratty dress, torn open at the back from which the grimy feathers fell. Still, here was the offer of a bath, something civilized, a chance to try and wash the fear from her if only for awhile.

            Releena stepped forward, forcing a small smile, and heard herself speak a quiet assent, each movement bringing her further from Heero. She couldn't ask him to accompany her, couldn't beg not to be let out of his sight. The balcony that at his return had lost some of its malevolent watchfulness crept back, and as she stepped out of his protective shadow Releena curled her hands into fists, using the pain of fingernails into soft palms to keep her attention on moving forwards, away from where she wanted to be. Her entire body thrummed with the prayers that he'd offer to go with her, begging him to follow her, or stop her, or anything. She felt that if anyone touched her, they'd hear the voice too, crying out to him. Although she walked towards Noin, who had moved aside to let her back into the bedroom, her entire attention focused on Heero, searching for some sign, some gesture, that could send her running back to him.

            But no such sign surfaced, and Releena found herself back in the oppressive, dusty bedroom without having heard his voice. She should turn, thank him, take leave, something. She shouldn't just walk away. But if she did, would that be the end? Would those be the last words she said to him? Was his job  finished, her delivery complete? She couldn't do it, couldn't turn and coolly thank him for rescuing her, for changing her life in one day. If she tried, she'd end up… she didn't know where, but she knew she couldn't turn. Not and still leave. She wasn't strong enough for that. The only way she could leave, could let him go, was to keep walking. 

            She hadn't realized she'd stopped, looking blankly at the open door to the hall, until a hand on her shoulder sent her heart into double time and the rest of her froze like a rabbit. The Lieutenant gestured her once more towards the door. Releena risked a final glance over her shoulder, giving into temptation, but the balcony was already hidden by the clutter, and though she could picture exactly how he stood, she couldn't see him, and she turned back to the hallway.

            Lieutenant Noin led the way silently through the halls, taking turns and staircases and Releena followed like a small waif, watching each step she took on the carpet, but hardly noticing the worn elegance they passed, her thoughts trying to find some comfort to cling to. She couldn't allow herself to think of her garden, no, her prison, not with fondness, not matter how she longed to hide in this depths. But now she couldn't allow herself fantasies of her rescuer, who she might never see again. Forbidden these two paths, her mind found an uncomfortable blank, and focused on the patterns flowing beneath her and the muffled tread of the boots of the Lieutenant before her, perhaps finding some secret comfort in the silence she herself walked, until even that was ruined by an unfortunate breeze which ruffled her feathers.

            Releena had already stopped unconsciously stopped to avoid walking into the woman in front of her before she awoke to the fact that they were now standing before a small door, set deep into the wall,  and she was being handed a small pile of snowy towels, which must have been acquired at an earlier point. 

            The door opened into a small room, dominated by a large marble tub dug into a raised portion of the floor at the center, and a wall of mirrors covered an entire side, reflecting back the feeble light that found its way thought the narrow windows which were set high in the wall opposite. The whole room had a feeling of disuse, but it was clean and tidy and the soft glow of two electric lights lessened the sense of desertion. 

            After a moment's struggle, her arms full of the towels and her mind still a determined blank, Releena finally maneuvered herself through the narrow doorway, wincing at the contortions this required in her back to squeeze the wings close. She stood for a moment, until recollecting her guide, she turned uncertainly, some words of belated thanks occurring to her, left over trappings of civility which she had almost forgotten, it'd been so long since she could use them. But Noin spoke first:

            "I'm sorry this is the best we can do for you, but mainly we all use the showers, and I don't believe those would" here she paused for a moment, while she sought the proper word "accommodate you." She delivered this speech with a flicker of eyes to the all too evident wings, and Releena hid this flinch that even this small recognition gave her. But the concern was needed, the showers would have been completely useless. The doctors had only ever turned on a hose when it pleased them, or merely sponged off her back. Other than the occasional rain shower, taken from amidst the branches during the few warm months that had been the extent of her bathing. The idea of a bath was an almost daunting luxury. She thanked the Lieutenant absently, and stood looking at the bath as the door closed behind her, clutching the towels to her.

            To her right she could see her reflection in the mirror, the wings engulfing her and already declaring dominance over the entire room, and as she walked towards the bath, her attention still caught by the mirror, they seemed to grow larger and whiter still. Finally Releena gave into temptation and turned to face herself full on. She'd avoided all reflections, knowing full well what she'd find, but here there wasn't a way out. That one glance affirmed all her fears, and sent her back to the bath, concentrating on finding a stream of hot water. Hair uncombed and dirty, skin pale under layers of dirt, no wonder Heero had been relieved to be released from her. And above it all, the wings. Resolutely she focused on the taps, avoiding even a glimpse of her damaged back.

            She must have lost herself somewhere, for by the time her eyes refoced on the running water the tub had nearly filled, and stopping the flow, she gingerly stepped into it, leaving her crumpled dress on the floor like a shed skin. She watched the tiny ripples that spread out from her, and shivered as the uncommon heat lapped at her skin and she stood for a moment, the water swirling around her thighs, wings held high above her head, stretched to their outmost before she fell forward, almost diving into the water. The warmth was intoxicating, bringing memories of before the orphanage, before…everything. But it wasn't enough. She wanted Heero. 

            With a blush Releena caught the direction of her thoughts and dunked her head back under the water. Baka, she shouldn't be thinking of him, especially not in the bath! This chastisement did not prove as helpful as she'd hoped, and with another blush Releena reached for the soap, engrossing herself in the task of srubbing away years of neglect. Every time the soap seemed to wash away gray. After washing and rinsing, washing and rinsing, and even giving her hair as thorough a cleansing as she good, Releena drained and refilled the tub, and carefully placed her wings under the water, swishing them back and forth, her hair floating like seaweed amongst the feathers. The wasn't large enough for both wings at once, and she could't reach her back to clean the scars, but just the flow of clean water over her back felt wonderful, almost forbidden. 

            Finally she dragged herself from the water, leaving the tub to drain as she stood dripping beside it, toweling her hair and how long feathers, which showered droplets with even the smallest movement took to dry. Bad enough having them, but the added weight of water shot occasional stabs of pain through her shoulders, and she was grateful her bath had steamed up the mirrors, so she needn't see how bedraggled she must look. She needed some quiet, sunny place to dry herself, somewhere she could reorganize her scattered thoughts.

            She wrapped the towel around herself as best she could, and poked at her dress with a toe, making a face at the gritty garment. She would have to ask for something, she simply wouldn't put that back on after months of wearing it. She brought her hand to her hair, combing her fingers through, trying to removed the worst of the tangles, aware that she would need to devote some serious time to removing the knots that had snarled in her locks and removing the occasional leaf that the bath hadn't found. She felt better, much more equal to deciding her own future and facing whatever she needed to. Perhaps even equal to finding Heero, even if just for a moment. Even thinking his name brought a soft smile to Releena's lips, but before she could revel in ay more thoughts in his direction a sharp rap at the door brought her back to reality. She clutched at her towel closely. She had no real idea of how long had passed since she'd followed Noin off the balcony. For a moment her heart fluttered at the idea of Heero having come to find her, but she resolutely squelched that idea, and hurried to the door before whoever could knock again. How long since someone had even used such a common courtesy as requestiong her permission to enter a room?

            But she hadn't expected the unknown face that she found behind the door. Intelligent small eyes looked out at her from a face that had seen more than a few years, but what backed her into the room was the white labcoat and small clipboard in his gnarled hands. They'd sent her another doctor, another scientist. Releena could feel her heartbeat accelerating as he followed her rapid retreat, an assistant close behind him. She desperately tried to convince herself of the differences, tried to listen to what the man in front of her was saying, but all she saw were the looks he kept casting on her wings, lingering now at the tips, now where they joined the back, a look of a almost glee hiding in his face, and never looking directing at _her. She continued to back into the room, angling around the tub, searching for another exit. She caught the words "examination, a few tests, for your safety, just want to help" and shook her head numbly. They couldn't possibly expect her to jump back into all that. They COULDN'T. She couldn't. Her back was almost against a wall now, she could fell the stone rasp against her feathers, and the doctor seemed to be growing more impatient with each shake of her head. Releena watched him finally gesture to the assistant, who reached into a pocked and withdrew a syringe and a small bottle. _

            At the sight of the needle Releena's mind went blank.


	6. RunAway

RunAway

Chapter Six

By EvilBunny 

Disclaimer: gundam wing is not mine.

            His report took four minutes and a half to give, and Heero felt each and every breath Releena took during that time. He could sense each one, sighing outward and wafting down his neck. When he'd finished speaking, he suddenly realized he should have been planning what would come next, instead of counting seconds and the breaths of the girl behind him, while trying at the same time to keep his mind _off  the girl behind him. He didn't want Noin thinking there was anything special about this. Normal procedure, getting bystanders out of danger, nothing more. Releena needed care, somewhere to stay, and Noin could provide her with all that. She didn't need him, and he certainly didn't need her, so this was the best possible solution. He'd leave on this next mission, and it would be just as well if she didn't get attached to him. Not that she would. Nor did he want her to. And he didn't want to even __think about needing her. Because he didn't. Right._

            Still he felt a flare of jealous protection when Noin's attention changed to the girl, and a sullen resentment that anyone else should talk to her, let alone offer her a bath. He wouldn't have thought to offer her that, but the idea seemed suddenly very tempting. Still, it wasn't anything he couldn't have found for her. But Heero kept himself still, and hid the flinch at the quiet agreement that sent her walking away from him. It took her a full thirty seconds to cross the balcony and walk out of sight, and Heero waited another minute before leaving himself, walking on auto-pilot through the halls to his own room, and set about reconnecting his computer. No new mission flashed across the screen. They were still foolishly trying to force him to take vacation time: you'd think they'd be pleased he was so dedicated.

            Heero sat back in his chair and surveyed the room he'd been assigned at the beginning of the operation. Well, more like had picked out for himself, and then had assigned for him. One bed, closet, dresser, desk and chair; sparse, utilitarian, and completely devoid of the distraction from a pair of hazel eyes that he was seeking. When he realized he'd just sized up the room to see if her wingspan would fit, and that she would just fit, he started pacing. Take two paces, turn, repeat. Measure and calm to any unfamiliar observer, he couldn't stop thinking about her.  With a determined turn on his heel, he forced himself to stop moving, and sat back on his small bed. This was pointless. He shouldn't be wasting energy on this fruitless obsession. Better to just replenish sleep lost on the mission now he had the chance. Although he would never admit to being tired, maybe even he could feel stress. That settled, he lay back on the covers, and determinedly closed his eyes. Within moments he drifted off, his last thought gratitude that amidst this confusion he hadn't lost his ability to sleep at will. 

            He awoke precisely a half hour later, alert but not nearer to his usual state of indifference than when he'd closed his eyes. He needed to know they were taking proper care of her. She was HIS responsibility after all; he'd brought her here, he was just doing his job. They couldn't say anything against that. Plus, HE was the one she turned to for help. 

            Heero knew that if there was any information in the computer about her, he could find it without barely trying, but the system was notoriously slow and chances were she wasn't even entered yet. Easier to just go find her. The house didn't have many bathrooms where she would fit. In fact, Heero only knew of one.

            That decided, Heero lost no time in smoothing the wrinkles from his bed and walking briskly out of the room and down the hall. Full twilight had fallen, and Heero's path soon took him out of the brightly lit quarters, where busy army attachés laden under piles of paper scurried out of the way at his approach and into the passages of the original lighting. The soft wattage shed pools of light that just met each other before the edge of darkness and made the few who had to pass this way grateful any of the light that still came through the windows. Heero moved from light to dark without thinking, intent on his goal, checking each person who went by to be sure they weren't out of place; and the nearer he came to Releena, the more closely he inspected each individual passing by. Even his efforts had not made this old castle secure, too many entrances, and just because she'd been safe last time didn't mean the danger had disappeared. 

            Again when he turned the corner the door to where he knew Releena to be stood open. He really had to explain to her the dangers of leaving herself so unprotected. He decided to ignore the fact that he assumed he'd be in the room with her next time to be sure she locked it.

            A loud shriek set him running forward, all thoughts about next time forgotten, and his mind coolly calculating the weapons he had with him while another part of him wanted to rip the cause to shreds with his bare hands. A small analytical voice in the back of his head began describing the correct way to approach the situation, advising a stealthy approach, not just blindly running in, but he could barely recognize the thoughts amidst the cold panic that he'd be too late.

            Before he quite reached the door, Releena came hurtling out into the hall, crashing against the wall as her wings caught in the doorframe, bringing her to an abrupt halt before she began to thrash wildly about. Before he could reach her she'd pulled free with a violent wrench, and turned just in time to run full into him.

            Releena screamed as Heero closed his hands about her arms, pining her, trying to keep her from doing any more damage while he found out what was wrong. She sounded like an animal in pain, completely panicked, her eyes dilated far beyond their normal size. She wore nothing more than a towel, but before this could distract him she began to fight him violently, still shrieking, and he quickly changed his grip to her wrists to prevent her from clawing at him. Her fear lent her strength, and she even went so far as to send them both careening up against the far wall, her wings whipping against him in wet slaps, a miniature snowstorm. Still, she obviously could never escape a qualified soldier.

            She didn't recognize him. He called her name once, twice, and still she fought him. He had to concentrate not to hurt her; she seemed careless of her own safety in her frenzy for escape. Didn't she know she was safe now? That he would take care of her? But she wouldn't meet his eyes, shaking her head frantically eyes searching for a way out, and he couldn't let her go to find out what was wrong or he knew she'd run. He wasn't even sure she could hear him.

            "Thank you for stopping her Mr. Yui." The cool, professional voice came from the bathroom door, and Heero looked up instantly, prepared to destroy whatever had caused the fear Releena was still under. He recognized one of the army doctors, but nearly feel as suddenly all the fight left Releena and she sunk bonelessly downwards at the sound of the doctors voice. Unwilling to release her in this state, but unable to keep her up, he went down with her, crouching on the stone floor, his back against the wall, trying to keep the girl in his arms from collapsing completely. But he couldn't block out the dispirited murmuring as she shook her head back and forth. All he could hear was a hopeless litany "no, no, no", her eyes tight shut, face hidden behind her hair. 

            Heero glared at the doctor, blue eyes furious ice as the carefully ground out the words:

            "What happened?" this man obviously had something to do with Releena's distress, but he had to find out what had happened before he killed him. The doctor explained they'd been assigned to do a routine checkup, but when they'd approached the girl she'd gone berserk. She was obviously in need of some serious treatment, and to illustrate the severity of the situation he sent his assistant away for medical treatment for the bite mark on her hand.

            By the time the doctor had finished his story, Heero could barely see from the anger, but he resisted the urge to pound the blind fool before him into a bloody pulp; Releena  hadn't stopped her pitiful denials, curled closed in on herself as far as she could with Heero holding both her arms, and he needed to get her away as soon as possible. But he was going to find out who had thought that after going through her medical torture for the wings that another exam was a good idea. He promised her that. Plus he needed to get her some clothes. Obviously, from her apparel or lack there of, she'd just emerged from the bath. Whatever shampoo she'd used smelled heavenly.

            Heero stood slowly, forcing Releena to rise also, and sent a look to the doctor which sent him sputtering to a stop in the midst of  some medical jargon. Heero didn't like him at all, what he'd tried to do, what had happened to Releena, and he especially didn't like the looks this old man kept shooting at the wings coming from Releena's back.

            "I'll take it from here." The doctor must had heard the rest of what Heero wanted to say in his voice, for he scurried away without another word, sending only one covetous glance back at his lost prize.

            Heero was finally free to turn his full attention to Releena. She hadn't opened her eyes since the doctor had entered the hallway, her face hidden behind wet hair, and he only caught glimpses of her between the strands as she continued to shake her head. Whatever shock she'd fallen into had taken a strong hold, and the energy she'd had moments before to break free from the doctors had just as obviously left her. He needed something, anything to prove she'd come back, just a little, that she knew who he was. Her scream, pure fear, when he'd touched her, as if he could EVER hurt her, still ate at him.

            "Releena." She didn't even look up. Why wouldn't she look at him? She didn't seem in any danger of running now, but he kept one hand still wrapped around her wrist as he forced her chin up with the other. Her eyes were still unfocused, and her lips still mouthed the word "no" over and over, although Heero could no longer even hear the words.

            "Releena, its okay." He shouldn't have left her. She'd told him what they'd done to her, he knew she was fragile, he should have known the operators wouldn't understand. He just wanted her to see him, like she had in the garden, on the balcony.

            There was no one in the hall, and he let himself rest his forhead against hers. "Please, I"ve got you now." He repeated, praying that'd be enough, his face so close to hers he saw her blink in the breeze from his breath. And between that blink and the next he saw blessed confusion replace the blankness in her stare, and he watched her lips form the word "Heero" as she looked at him dazedly.

            That was good enough for him. The next step was to get her our of the hallway, and Heero distanced himself, bringing his attention back to the situation and away from the curve of her next when she tilted to look up at him. With her awake enough not to fight him every step of the way he could get her out easily. Releena stood as if in a daze, still barely supporting her own weight, and rather than see if she could make the walk, he picked her up, sitting her in front of him where she naturally turned into his neck for balance, her arms holding tight and her wings almost dragging on the floor around them. The wings were surprisingly heavy, but she still weighed less than she should.

            Her eyes were closed again, but her breathing no longer worrisome and from the way she clung to him he knew she no longer considered him harmful. Heero set his pace at a smooth walk, grateful for the wings which covered most of the girl he held, as she still wore only the towel, and he didn't need any more questions. 

            He needn't have worried.  The sight of Heero walking through the halls carrying what appeared to be a drowned angel as if she was glass, and fiercely scowling at anyone who looked their way shocked all who saw them into silence. Still Heero was grateful when he'd finally maneuvered them safely into his room, and shut the door behind him, but there he was face with the realization that he didn't want to put her down, nor did he know where he could put her. Even curled up against him her wings filled the room, making the familiar place a half hidden and ambiguous fairyland, with them at the center.


	7. HomeComing

Flightlessness

By EvilBunny

For author's notes click on the author bio link thing. They'll be updated more often than the story, just to let you know I'm alive. 

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing's not mine. But thanks for asking

HomeComing

Chapter 7

            He smelt of wet and grass and old trees; the scent of her garden still lingered on his skin and Releena hid herself in the smell just as she'd burrowed under the shade and undergrowth. Underneath the garden she could even smell him, a scent just as comforting, even more so, one that spoke of strength and safety. They'd always found her in the garden, but they couldn't find her here, with him. 

            She let her mind drift; they were moving, she could feel her wings drag along the floor, but the haziness of her mind suppressed the shudder that their weight still provoked. Last time he'd held her there had been wind, when he'd taken her up into the sky, escaped. But she hadn't flown, couldn't fly, and now it seemed she couldn't even walk.

            She heard a door close and they stopped. Still, she refused to open her eyes, snuggling deeper to this moment where nothing hurt, wrapping herself in the peace. She didn't want to wake up from this, didn't want to know what reality taught. But from that slight movement, when she tried to wrap the peace around her, she found herself being gently lowered to the floor. 

            Releena opened her eyes as her feet hit cold tile, her cocoon broken. Heero still stood before her though, and her gaze had caught him in the process of stepping away. He froze when she looked at him; almost as if he were afraid any sudden moves might scare her, and gently completed his step only when he saw she wasn't going to fall. 

            He kept his eyes on hers the whole time, wary, and filled with what Releena could only hope was concern. But where had he come from? Why did she suddenly have yet another blank in her memory? And why was she only wearing a towel?

            Releena's cheeks flushed crimson, and she took a startled step backwards, hand clutching the white fabric closer in a sudden movement which sent her wings rippling through the room; smooth chaos. They brushed up against the walls and Releena realized just how small the room was. Where was she?

            Everything seemed filled with her feathers, her curse. The overhead light hid nothing, and the water still glistening made them sparkle like fresh snow, obscenely pure. Releena's eyes continued their frantic dance around the room, although always with him at the center. Like a leash, she could circle, but not escape.

            Plain walls, small bed, desk computer. HIS computer. Small room, _his room. He stood calmly in the center of the room, as if he could wait all day, messy bangs still in his eyes, quiet. But even still she could feel the strength from him. Why was she naked with nothing but a towel in his __room?_

            One explanation danced across her mind, deepening her blush and creating a nervous flutter in her stomach, but she knew she'd remember _that. Even the mere thought of it seemed branded in her memory. No, something was wrong. He was watching her too carefully, as if she'd turn and bolt.  _

            Slowly her mind started to reattach memories. She'd been in the bath. That explained the towel, but not… With a jerk Releena identified the taste of blood in her mouth.  Her eyes flew to Heero, what had she done? Had she hurt him? No, he seemed fine, but that still didn't explain how she'd gotten here.

            Right, she'd been in the bath. In the bath and then…white lab coats, the doctors and finally a syringe. Her muscles locked and suddenly she didn't know if she wanted to back into a corner or fling herself back in Heero's comforting arms, and let the feel of him wash everything else away. 

            Torn between the two impulses, one sweet and familiar, the other still surprising in its newness and intensity, she stayed still, listening to the harsh rasp of her breathing. He still hadn't moved, and finally she managed to ask in a harsh whisper

            "The doctors." Not really a question, more a statement, an attempt at denial and even saying the word made her fear they'd suddenly appear behind him to reclaim her.

            "Gone." His voice seemed almost gentle, but his clenched fists betrayed an underlying anger. "Leave it to me." He seemed so sure. Releena let some of the panic slip away. He'd found her, saved her again. 

            But Heero was moving, brushing her feathers lightly away from the doorknob, although he hadn't turned his back to her. He couldn't go. Not so soon. He couldn't leave her alone.

            "Where are you going?" Releena couldn't hide the urgency in her voice, not the hope. Couldn't he just take her with him?

            He answered as he turned away "To fix the problem." Then as an afterthought "There are clothes in the closet behind you. Take what you need. " he opened the door, spilling the harsh light out into the nearly dark hallway. Night had already fallen outside. He stepped through, but stopped, half in, half out "Do not leave this room until I come back" he stared back at her, finishing with an intensity that seemed at odds with his earlier calm. He looked at her as if he could instill obedience just from the weight of his eyes, and then he left.

            The door closed, leaving Releena in the box. Fix the problem. The problem with the doctors. A shudder ran through her. She wasn't even sure what the doctors had done. Suddenly a newly unpleasant thought occurred to her. She didn't know what she'd done either. She still had the bright, coppery taste of blood in her mouth, and for the first time she wished it was her own. 

            But there were no new cuts in her mouth, and Heero had been unharmed. She'd fought back, and a bit of pride curled out from the midst of her worry.  But she might have blown any chance of protection she'd had. 

            They would surely see her as feral now, some creature to lock up in a cage. They'd say they were taking care of her, acting as protectors, and she'd never get out. Heero would never talk to her again!

            The last thought came out almost as a wail, but she clamped down on it. He'd come for her. Whatever happened, she had to believe he always would. 

            Afterall, they couldn't blame her for defending herself, and she'd do it again if they sent any more white coats after her. She wouldn't just let them have her. 

            She'd probably have to explain though. Try to articulate why she'd gone after the two doctors. But damned if she would in nothing but a towel!

            Releena knew her dress was far behind her in the bathroom, which she was equally sure she couldn't find again on her own. She didn't know where she was even. The dress was beyond saving anyway, she knew that. Nor was she going to leave the one place Heero had told her to wait. 

            After all, there were too many people to be wandering around an unknown place. Wasn't she conspicuous enough without walking around mostly unclad?

            True, they must have already seen her when she'd come here, but he changed everything. She'd just have to wait. She'd even fight to stay if she had to, and from the size of the door, they'd have a hard enough time getting her out with her co-operation. She couldn't imagine how Heero had gotten her through in the first place.

            He'd said there were clothes in the closet behind her. Alone, Releena noticed that though far from cold, the air was no where near the steamy haven she'd created in the bathroom, and a that a chill was already ruffling along her skin. And if she did have to face someone tonight, she couldn't do it clutching a towel the whole time. She wasn't even sure how she'd managed to keep a hold on it in the first place. 

            Plus, finding clothes would give her something to do, aside from staring at the white blankness of the tiny room. The tiny walls, so small and white and sterile. With a determined shake, Releena turned towards the closet. She had to wait for him, but she didn't know how long he'd take, and she didn't want her waiting mind to find its own ways to occupy itself. She knew the nightmares it'd find.


	8. Leavetaking

Flightlessness Chapter 8

By Evil Bunny

Disclaimer: Heero and Releena aren't mine, but most of this story is. Huzzah!

Author's notes: in the author bio, as usual.

Leavetaking

            Heero let the door close behind him slowly, resisting the urge to stand before it, blindly staring. He started walking down the same hall he'd just carried her through, feet moving before he'd even decided where he was going. He walked because if he didn't he'd go running back through the door to hold her until the stricken look he'd caught vanished from her face and she promised she'd never leave him again for that place where he'd found her, where he couldn't protect her. 

                He'd failed her once already by walking away, when he'd left her alone here, when he'd foolishly thought someone else would look out for her. He'd seen the fear slide back into her eyes before she asked what had happened with the doctors. For a moment he thought she'd bolt, run from him and what he'd let almost happen. And he couldn't have let her run, not here, not when he wasn't sure what would happen if they found her, or how much of her would be left when he caught up.

            This time he'd left her to take care of some business. She was safe in his room, no one would risk his anger by entering without his permission. He'd just have to make sure everyone knew she was under his protection now. That and whoever had sent those doctors after her had some explaining to do.

            The doctors…Heero took the strange emotions he'd felt ever since he'd been unable to pull the trigger all those hours ago and fed them into the cold rage he directed at those in command. He shouldn't have had to find her fleeing. Shouldn't have had to carry her down these same halls, not quite sure if she'd know his name when he put her down. Shouldn't feel so damned responsible. 

            He still wasn't sure why this mattered so much. He'd let her out of the garden, why wasn't that enough? He was a soldier, not some sort of bodyguard\babysitter, he should just let it be. She'd have to deal with her demons some time, everyone did. But somehow he couldn't tune her out like the rest, and he wanted to know why.

            He knew also that it didn't matter what decision the upper ranks came to, she would never have to go back to the doctors. Heero allowed himself one cold smile; it wasn't as if anyone could stop him.

----------------------          ---------------------------------------           ----------------------------

            Heero could hear the discussion coming from the officer's lounge before he even turned the corner to that hall. He paused by the door, listening, he was sure he'd heard Releena's name. Noin was arguing for something, and he wanted to know what before he announced his departure with the girl.

            "We can't keep her here! Doctors have already gotten into a fight over the poor thing, and the moment the press gets near her she's never going to see a day of peace ever again. She can barely deal with being here as it is, she's so fragile right now she'd bruise from a glance and it won't take long for her to shatter completely. She won't be able to cope."

            "We'll deal with it NOin," replied the detached voice of Zechs. "Just not yet. She'll be fine until we can arrange accommodations for her."

            "You can't just send her off with some stranger! She's only just escaped lord know what hell, and putting her back under guard could be disastrous! Why won't you let me take her to safe house six myself? It isn't in use and she'd be safe there."

            "I need you here. You know that." came the unarguable reply. "There are still a million administrative duties to get done and I won't cripple the organization for some wounded bird. If you can find someone to take her, fine, if not she'll just have to cope."

            "I'll take her." Heero's sudden appearance in the doorway startled them both, regardless of the fact he had appeared thus many time before, without warning. His abrupt statement seemed to startle them even more. Zechs' face remained hidden, along with his expression, but Noin stared at him in momentary astonishment. She'd been trying to get him on vacation leave for months, in an attempt to avoid the burnout they could all see coming, but he'd refused to even acknowledge the subject. Yet here he was volunteering for something other than the most dangerous of missions; willingly taking a position that would keep him off active duty. 

            The expression on his face added to the mystery. Far from open, his eyes nevertheless held a flicker of life not seen in them before. Noin turned to Zechs as he reshuffled the papers on his desk. If he'd accept Heero's offer, two might be saved instead of just the one.

            "So its true, the girl is with you now." Heero gave no reply to this statement, nor did Zechs appear to expect one. "Very well. I'll issue you the keys and assignment changes shortly. You'll leave at once, before she causes any more problems." The two men exchanged nods, and Heero turned to leave the way he had come. Noin paused him with a hand to before he quite reached the hall.

            "She'll want this." and with that she passed him a dress not unlike the one Releena had worn in the garden, the back cut away. Heero nodded, and with what Noin would almost describe as a look of gratitude if she didn't know better, left quickly.

            Back in the hall, as he let his feet take him back to her, Heero knew that leaving soon was for the best. Just so long as he didn't need to argue with them, while she sat alone. He'd left her alone too much already.

            The dress Noin had handed him felt warm and smooth under his fingers, well-worn and soft from frequent washings. Smart of Noin to have found her something, he hadn't been sure how they were going to work around her wings, but she could wear this easily enough. His mind leapt quickly from the feel of the fabric to the skin it would conceal, almost before he noticed. Skin that smelled slight of honeysuckle and...

            No,  focus on something else. Safehouse six was not what he would have chosen. Isolated, the forest surrounding it allowed for plenty of hiding for attackers. But then, no one really expected that type of attack. No, this wasn't the same type of danger at all, they needed to protect her from their own. But it didn't matter, anyone who tried to get her would find a nasty surprise in him.

            Heero successfully kept his mind on arrangements for transportation and supplies until he walked through the door to his room. The startled gasp abruptly recalled to him her occupancy of the before always empty room, and that perhaps he should have knocked. The square of light the door let into the room fell directly onto her, broken only by his shadow. She sat carefully in the only chair, her feet slightly above the bare floor, her wings carefully arranged about her so that they touched nothing. Only the small puddle of water showed where they'd rested against the floor. 

            She'd obviously been staring out the window while waiting for him, and Heero's mind flew immediately to the view, cataloging each item she could possibly have been watching as if jealous of her attention. He'd looked out only once when he'd first arrived and not since, but he could tell here every exit and entrance to the small courtyard and dry fountain she'd seen. But somehow he doubted that's what had captured her attention, and with her there the view suddenly seemed different, more real. 

            The light spilling from the light hall reflected off the pale feathers, making her seem just as pale as she had in the moonlight. She must have turned the lights off herself while she waited, surely he wouldn't have left her here in the dark. Perhaps so she could see out into the night. With a flick he turned the overhead back on, and the window view snapped from night to her reflection.

            She stood quickly, half facing him, standing guiltily as if caught doing something forbidden by looking out his window and blinking in the sudden light. Heero caught himself checking for the expression in her eyes, but although startled, the blankness was blessedly gone. 

            Her hair still hung in damp strands, but it seemed brushed as best as fingers could. 

And she was wearing his clothes; _his_. Heero's breath caught as a fire of possessiveness swept through him at the sight, and he crumpled the dress, forgotten, in his fist before letting it drop to the ground.  She'd found a pair of drawstring pajama pants he'd never even worn, but even in them she was breathtaking.

            For a top...she still wore only a towel, if wore accurately described the way she simply clutched it before her. The possessiveness was joined by another warmth as the thoughts he had so successfully pushed away came flooding back, and his eyes traced curves he'd been studiously ignoring. Half dressed but fully awake Heero felt more aware of the soft cream of her skin than he had while he'd carried her.

            Following his eyes, Releena gave a second gasp and spun around, a faint pink clear across both her cheeks. Her wings flew about her to resettle like frightened mice in this new direction. 

            Heero only heard the beginning of her stammered explanation about a reluctance to cut his shirts to pieces. With her back to him, her hair swung forwards, the harsh indoor lighting revealed in its full glory every scar that molded the base of her wings. They built on each other, running blue and crawling along her shoulder blades before down her spine to disappear in trickles past her waistline. A few even grasped about her ribs, although he couldn't see how far to the front they ran. An obscene embrace, they marked her horrors just as surely as the wings they surrounded.

            Heero moved forwards slowly, staring in this light less forgiving than the moon. Each scar was cut with a surgical precision, the lines straight and even, each planned and calculated and healed only to prepare the way for more. Old and new they formed patterns designed for reasons he didn't even want to begin to understand. 

            Far different were his own scars, acquired in battle or training, crescents from slipped knives and flying metal. They too told a story, but one of work, not horror. How could there be so many...

            Heero let his fingers drift just above one of the largest, which ran from almost her collar down to the end of her ribs and from which so many others fanned, not close enough to touch, but enough to make her shiver. He stood so close now, within in the cage of her wings, and each breath he took he watched move the fine hairs on the back of her neck. 

            He could see her watching him from the reflection in the window, her eyes wide, but he could see nothing of the rest of the room, only a white curtain. If she turned, he'd become helplessly entangled in the feathers.

            She'd stopped talking, standing still like a startled creature not yet sure of flight. He wanted to count each cut, to know how and where and when. And who had held the knives. He already knew why. Just as he knew that there'd be more scars if he didn't get her away soon.

            Away. Soon. This couldn't be about anything else. As he stepped away again without speaking, whatever had held Releena still left, and she swung her hair back in place, hiding the worst of the damage. Turning slowly, she tried to gather her wings in around her without sweeping the contents of the room with her and for just a moment, he let them brush his face before stepping aside.  


	9. Alone Again?

Alone Again? 

Chapter 9

            Releena went through his clothing slowly, almost reverently. She'd found a pair of simple pajama pants that looked like they'd fit nicely in the first drawer she'd opened and they lay draped across the chair behind her, but she couldn't find a top that she'd be able to get into, let alone wear.

            The only way would be to cut one of the many nondescript shirts to pieces, and although they all looked the same to her, she couldn't imagine ruining anything of his. The very uniformity of his wardrobe confused her. She'd hoped to gain some insight into him, even if only to discover his favourite colour, but everything seemed to be army issue, no sign of personal preference. 

Still, she had no room to judge. Bad enough that he'd had to take her with him, now he had to save her from his own side. Not to mention she lacked anything to cut a shirt to suit her needs. She'd have to tear and rip, use teeth and nails, and she'd already done enough of that today.

            Releena shivered at the yet another blank spot in her memory, and ran her tongue along her teeth, her finger at her lips. She could still taste blood, and she didn't dare go anywhere to find something to wash the taste away. She didn't even dare open the door to keep watch, for who knew who might come down the hall.

            Sighing, she gave up on a shirt and slid on the pants. At least she'd have on _some_ clothing when he returned, more than before. The thought stained her cheeks with another blush, and she clutched the towel to her chest, looking guiltily at the closed door as if he would walk in at her very thought. 

            The door stayed solidly shut, and she let out a sigh of relief, or was it disappointment? He'd barely been gone a few minutes, who knew how much time dealing with…with…Releena's mind balked at even the articulation of her troubles, who knew how much longer he'd be?

            Idly she went back to the drawer, tucking some of the shirts back into the neat piles that her earlier search had dislodged. She had to work one-handed, the other struggling to keep the towel in place, even though she was alone in the room. Every time it shifted her eyes flew to the door, and each time she blushed at her involuntary reaction. Finally she closed the dresser drawers and turned determinedly away from the stubbornly closed door.

            This put her squarely before the window, the lighted room reflected back at her through the dark pane. She stood staring back from the center, hair disheveled and surrounding her was the reflected brightness from the sheer white of her wings. They seemed to fill the air around her. She could see nothing of the rest of the room, no table, no chair, not even the door that had been the focus of all her attention earlier. Just white, and her in borrowed clothes and tangled hair.

            The darkness behind the reflection made the illusion all the more real. She was alone. Her and what they'd done to her. Heero'd saved her twice now, but what could he do against his own government? His own leader? Look at her. Why would he even want to help? 

            With hesitating steps, one hand outstretched, s he took the one step needed to touch the window, fingertips meeting those of her reflection.

            The glass seemed cold, even against her chilled skin, and seemed to burn. The one touch kept her immobile. How long since she'd been in a room with a window? How long had it been? But she couldn't see out. All she saw was herself, and those wings, like a mirror.

            She knew there was something on the other side, something, someone. They were watching her again, they were always watching her. Security cameras, panels and now this, a one-way mirror. Did they think she didn't know?

            They'd moved her here after Christine's death, terrified of a repeat with her, their only remaining success. The obvious blinking red camera hadn't been enough, she knew they watched from behind this silvered glass, and sometimes she could even hear them laughing, talking, planning their next cut, their next torture. What were they going to do with her?

            She'd tried banging on the mirror only once, but they'd run in so quickly, sedated her so ruthlessly that she couldn't even bear to try again. She knew one of the two bare walls contained the door, but she couldn't seem to remember which one. Or had she come through the mirror itself, through the looking glass and this was her marvelous adventure?

            Another spasm ran through her, and she curled tighter around herself, rocking gently, and still crying. She knew they watched, always, but she couldn't stop the tears, and could only vaguely remember that she should care about revealing this weakness to them.

            Eyes blurred and burning tried to watch al the corners of the room at once, but returned most often to the mirror. It had to be lying, for over her shoulders she could see wings, and she knew she hadn't had them before. No human girl should have wings. They were wrong. WRONG. She could feel the new weight on her shoulder muscles, the pain along her back and even hear the faint rustling in the slowly recycling air, but she continued to deny them. And continued to rock and cry, and they continued to watch.

            With a gasp Releena threw herself backwards, her wings fanning out around her, before spinning and scrabbling blindly at the opposite wall. Stupid window, stupid reflection, stupid stupid wings. She could feel a couple of the tears sliding down her cheek as her fingers finally found the light switch and the room plunged into blessed twilight. 

            Releena stood still, her forehead resting against the wall, one palm on the doorknob beside her, the other clutched under her chin, slowing her breathing. She had to check. Slowly, without letting herself think about it, she turned the knob, and let go of the traitorous thought that he might have locked her in.

            Finally she turned around, and keeping her eyes on the floor for each step she made it across the room. The room was only three steps across, but she stared at her bare toes on the thin carpet for the whole way.

            Carefully she sat in the only chair, deliberately arranging her wings about her before finally looking back out the window. Only the outside courtyard look back, no hidden figures behind the glass, not reflections. Just the outside.

            Hero would be back soon, he'd promised, and she could go out now if she wanted to. It wasn't safe, not hardly, but the door behind her was open, and she wasn't strapped to the chair, not this time. He wouldn't let it happen again that way.

            Shakily she wiped the telltale smudges on her face away, hoping they would leave any signs of her tears. What would he think of her if he came back to find her bawling at his window?

            The door swung open before Releena had barely had a change to finish her though, and her fear had only just managed to clench her muscles before she recognized Heero.

            Her jubilance was mixed with shame at her own memories, at the unspoken thought he might not come back.  When he turned on the light, Releena rose from her seat, her wings flailing about her as she tried to think of an explanation for why she would be sitting there in the dark; one that didn't involve reflections from windows and her own nightmares.

              But he didn't ask her anything, and Releena couldn't quite recognize his expression as he stood by the door. There was something hungry about him, and as his gaze dropped Releena let out another gasp and spun away. She'd forgotten that she still only wore the towel as a top, and her habits of hiding were too strong for her to feel anything less than vulnerable. He'd told her to find clothes and she'd been unable to. She was still used to thinking of punishments for disobedience.

            Releena found herself facing the window once more, but now too busy babbling about damaged shirts and how she would never presume without permission to remember her earlier fear. He still hadn't spoken. Hesitantly she raised her eyes from where she'd fixed them on the worn tabletop to look at his reflection.

            In the mirrored image he now stood right behind her, clear as herself. She still couldn't read his expression, but the direction of his gaze was clear. Her back. And he was close. Much closer than she'd thought. The breath froze in her throat as she imagined she could feel his, and she waited for the pity, the grimace, any of the reactions she expected. She knew what he must see.  

            Ss she waited for rejection, steeling what little she had left against it, and was completely unprepared to feel a breeze waft across her back as he reached out.

            Touch. In the day that he'd found her, she'd thrilled to his touch. He was something she craved. But this…

            She couldn't move, wouldn't breath, couldn't even shiver as his fingers slowly crossed the gap between them, and stopped, mere centimeters above her tortured skin. So close she could feel them as they traced the lines that crossed and recrossed her back. So close that with barely a sigh on her part they'd meet. But that would change everything, and she was still frozen. 

            He stood between her wings, and she couldn't move without wrapping him in feathers. Most of him was hidden by the whiteness already, and she wouldn't risk losing him in them even for a moment. Not even to be able to face him. 

            Unable to see his movement, she kept her eyes fized on his face, on the look of concentration he wore, but all of her attention focused on the small hidden gestures that she could almost feel, begging and dreading for his touch.

            It never came. He retreated so fast her breath came back in a whoosh, his face shuttering the emotions she wasn't quite sure she'd seen in the reflection. Freed from her immobility she spun to face him, not quite sure how, but determined to finish something of what he'd started. Her heart was pounding, and all her skin alive with craving for the touch he'd denied her, but before she could make more than this vague resolution, he answered her earlier babble in a neutral voice.

            "Just as well Noin thought to find you a dress then. Get ready, we leave in two minutes." As she stood gaping at him, he turned and closed the door, gestured towards a dress lying crumpled on the floor as he left.

            Leave? Leave to where? What was happening? The turnabout was too sudden. Were they fleeing? Had she destroyed the life he'd built here by simply entering it? Or was he taking her somewhere, somewhere to get rid of her? The solitary dreams of only yesterday now filled her with a thick dread. Freedom, if she was alone, just wasn't enough anymore.

            Mechanically she pulled the dress on, carefully arranging the sleeves. She didn't even notice that whoever had found the dress had judged the needed cuts almost exactly, or that it was softer and warmer than her last. 

            She wasn't even sure that he would be taking her to freedom. What exactly did she know about how things worked here? The heart of her rebelled at the thought that he would ever do anything to harm her in any way, but the cold little voice born from countless witness to humanities horrors answered with contempt at her faith. She could easily have traded one cage for another. A cage might in fact be more than she could expect. She may have already caused too many problems, and he was to dispose of her like a rabid animal.

            Releena shivered as she carefully folded the towel. No, away from the moonlight and terror she didn't feel quite so willing to offer him her life as she did before. That spirit that had kept her from taking her own way out was back. She wanted a chance to live, but if that meant running from him instead of towards him..at least if he was hunting her she could be with him that little while longer.

            For now there was nothing she could do. No plans she could even begin to make. She would simply follow him and hope that an opportunity arose, although an opportunity to do what she wasn't quite sure.


	10. Drive

Drive. 

Chapter Ten

Flightlessness

By EvilBunny

            Heero kept his eyes firmly fixed on the small patch of road that the headlights illuminated. There weren't any turns on this road, nothing that he really needed to be watching for, but he still stared at the moving gray before him.

            He'd driven this path once before, sent on a resupply trip by head office. He had dutifully followed orders on this entirely pointless waste of time; probably another attempt at getting him to take a break. He'd memorized the route, spent the unloading time evaluating the area's defenses and on his return delivered a full report on the military viability of the safehouse. Unsatisfactory at best, but this was the closest, and he didn't want to stick Releena in another air carrier. This was also the most isolated, and since there wasn't a hope of her blending in with the crowd, it would have to do. 

            Just as well he didn't need to transport her far, he'd had to find the largest van on the compound to accommodate her wings, and they were still a tight fit. Judging the transportation had come so easily, finding the doors she could fit through, a seat that would hold her. But he was a soldier, judging wingspan was part of the training. The wings flowed over and around her, shifting reproachfully with each turn or uneven jostle, occasionally brushing just the tips against him.

            He'd put her in the seat beside him, where he could watch. Never put someone behind you, it was bad tactics. Keep them somewhere you can have them in view at all times. Always have the civilians in arms reach in case they do something stupid. If he'd put her in the backseat he could only have seen her through the mirror or by turning around. This way she was a constant presence in his peripheral vision, and he knew every shift, every sigh, nearly every heartbeat, all while staring stonily forward.

            Heero also counted every glance she sent his way, and there were many. What did she want? The low glow of the dashboard lit her every feature, adding a blue, surrealistic ting to her already pale skin and making her wings seem even less real. If not for the small noises made by her clothes, her breathing and the occasional scent of honeysuckle, he could easily believe that she was one of the hallucinations from stress that some of the other soldiers spoke of. An apparition to be ignored in case the distraction got you killed. But she wasn't.

            Back in a dress, her hair still slightly damp, she now looked more like the ethereal being he'd stumbled onto than the half-crazed and abused girl he'd found in the hallway. Heero's grip tightened on the steering wheel, though the girl covertly watching through her eyelashes never saw a change in his expression. He would make certain they never got her. A few weeks for Noin to work out the politics and he'd be done. 

            His plan stopped there. What could or would happen afterwards wasn't his business. She was safe with him for now, and that was that. If it all went wrong he'd destroy her like he'd promised and go back to the way things were.

            She stared quietly out the window now, at the blur of trees they passed. Too dark and thick to really see anything, he wondered what she watched. It'd been over an hour since they'd seen another car, and that was before they'd started up into the mountains. By this point they'd already started the climb upwards, and there shouldn't be any more traffic. At their present speed they'd arrive in less than thirty minutes. Everything they needed would be there, food supplies and clothing, computer equipment and weaponry. There would even be a new laptop for communications.

            Releen shifted again, and Heero found himself squashing down the impulse to turn to her and ask what was the matter, if she was comfortable, if the seatbelt bit too far into her shoulders. He was here to protect, not babysit. If there was a problem she'd have to bring it up to him, he wasn't going to hover over her. She didn't need to be comfy, just safe.

            Anyways, speaking to her would open up the floor to more conversation, and he didn't want to know where that would lead. They'd made it this far through the trip with just a murmured thank you and a noncommittal grunt, and Heero saw no reason  to start chatting now. Silence was safest, it meant you could hear the enemy coming. Nor did he want to hear the same prying questions  he got from everyone, the questions they seemed to feel had to fill the silence.

            He especially didn't want to see how she'd affect his answers. He didn't seem to work properly around her, but as long as he could keep her quiet he could pretend that she didn't change anything. That this was a mission like any other. 

            So it was with grave reservations that Heero observed Releena's slowly firming resolve. She would look at him, down at her hands, back out the window, then back at him again. He watched her wet her lips nervously, traced the patters her restless fingers made with each other, all without betraying his interest. 

            He caught himself almost turning towards her, but that was unacceptable. He didn't want to hear her questions, her voice, her interest in him. He didn't.

            He'd almost convinced himself that his disinterest had convinced her to keep quiet when a shiver through the feathers around them both signaled a straightening of her back. Still he kept his eyes forward, noticing that she kept hers on her hands, although they had stilled their worried dance.

            "Where are we going?" Her voice was quiet, almost fearful, a hint of wistfulness threading underneath. What kind of a question was that? Surely she could wait the extra few minutes to find out. He didn't answer right away, and her eyes rose from her hands to the windshield and the ongoing road, and then finally to his face.

            He couldn't resist the full pull of her eyes, and turned just enough to acknowledge he saw her. There was some unknown fear in her posture that prompted him to answer.

            "Somewhere safe." That should be enough, how much did she need to know? He'd told her that he'd take care of her, he shouldn't have to explain all the little details; she just needed to learn some patience. What would she do with the information anyway? Heero was well used to ignoring the unnecessary questions so often posed by those around him that it was with a bite of dismay that he heard himself continue.

            "There's an old safehouse used by agents that the enemy has discovered. You're to stay there until they can get the politics finished. " 

He sounded…concerned, almost as if he was trying to reassure her, and deliberately took himself back to the road. Not that he wasn't still aware of her, senses focused on her throughout the ride now refused to ignore her, but he tried. 

            He knew she still sat looking at him, she she'd let out a sigh of relief but that the blue glow now illuminated new lines of tensions. Less fear, more a sense of sadness and resignation. She still wasn't satisfied and this wasn't over, there'd be something more. 

"For how long?"

That he could answer with a shrug, and did. Better to leabe it open, and option available to change and renegotiation. He didn't know when NOin would contact him with the all clear, what exactly the all clear would be. The arguments at court could go on for days or the issue could not even be looked at for weeks only to be decided in a day. He wasn't even sure if he'd listen to their all clear. He would be the final judge of safety.

Nor did he know when the next mission would open for him. There hadn't been one that required his blend of expertise in months. Even this last one could easily have been performed by one of the other agents. Due could just as simply impersonated a servant and the infiltration of the castle had been child's play/ The one man battles of skill and death had all ended the year before, along with the war.

With the end of the war, he'd gone naturally into the Preventers, mopping up the spills of the disgruntled solders, neutralizing the odd madman, and tracking down the mysteries not deemed urgent enough during battle to destroy, but which posed pressing questions now during peace. 

It just didn't work the same. The enemy wasn't as clear, and everyone around him seemed to expect him to return to some life he'd had before the fighting took over. But there wasn't one. Battle, reflexes, observations, skills, these were everything. Everything he'd been told he'd need. This was who he was. 

]So he completed every mission that came in, and when they couldn't find him a new battle soon enough, he'd beat the hackers to the prey, send them the report, and be suited up before they stamped the assignment. The only challenge lately had been tracking down the miscreants in the first place, and playing hide and seek through networks and alias was a poor second to the open skies of the fights and the cool reason of battle.

The road had by now begun to harrow considerably, the overgrown forest crowding along the edges as the cement abruptly ran out and the van continues its way on the bumpy gravel. The occasional branch would now scrape its way along the window and the staccato of bouncing rocks provided counterpoint to the abrupt scratchings.

Heero adjusted easily to the increased turbulence, but the white mass around Releena began a constant storm about her as each revolution of the wheels sent them flying in a different direction. After lying dormant so long, he'd forgotten how quickly they took over all available space when angered.

They filled the van, keeping only a small area clear enough for him to see the road. But worse, they seemed to whisper along his arms deliberately, a tempting caress that promised more than he knew to ask and the increased demands of the road did nothing to distract him.

He pushed further on the accelerator, hoping for the speed to save him, but this only sent them higher; his neck, his cheek, fingering through his hair. He could hear Releena's breaths increase while she tried to control them, the two rising in tandem as he in turn went faster and faster. He had to get out of this van. The trees sped by the windows, they were going too fast but he knew where they were and they were almost there..

            He turned into the clearing with a spray of gravel, bringing the van to a stop beside the modern looking cottage and exited the van in a calm, though hurried manner. Without looking back, he marched up the steps to the front porch, unlocked the door, and entered.                        


	11. Footsteps

Footsteps

Chapter 11 (mandybean, this one is for you)

Flightlessness

By EvilBunny 

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing isn't mine. Surprise.

            It took Releena a full two minutes to untangle herself from the seatbelt, and maneuver herself out of the van. The jolting ride she'd just undergone had left her dazed, hardly able to think beyond the white mass of her wings. Only the empty lot greeted her final, ungraceful entrance.

            Slowly she turned in a full circle, still not understanding the situation. She couldn't seem to grasp anything. She didn't know where they were, where Heero went, how long she'd be kept here. She just didn't know anything, except that he'd practically run to get away.

            To her right sat the cottage, wooden porch and all, which at one point must have been inviting, but tonight sat dark and empty. She knew Heero must have entered it, as she'd heard the slap of a screen door, but no lights glowed in the windows. 

            She could too easily imagine living here alone, left and forgotten for an unspecified time that no one seemed able to determine. Compared to her fears on entering the van, this complete isolation was a haven. She could still feel the relief flooding through her when, after taking her courage with both hands, she'd asked the all important question. Her heart had sung, and laughed scornfully at her distrust when Heero given her his response of "Somewhere safe."

            Safe; a word she hadn't believed could still be used, but when he said it she believed him. There was no question of doubt. Although she still knew he was perfectly capable of kill her, of putting a bullet into her as he'd almost done back in the garden, he would never lie to her about it. No, he would tell her would destroy her just as calmly as he had back then.

            Her garden. The dark trees around the van seemed so foreign compared to her old, familiar trunks, but she would know them. She could know them all. What did she really need people for?

            Releena wrapped this thought around her; she had a new world to explore, what did it matter that Heero could hardly wait to be rid of her? Why did this boy, who she barely  knew, why did his presence make the difference between contentment and depression? How could he colour her life so quickly?

            For that was the root of her unhappiness, that although she was safe, she'd be alone. But even if se were surrounded by others, people devoted purely to her comfort and company, she knew she'd be along if he wasn't with her. If she couldn't see a glance of him out of her window, the prospect of having that window lost much of its charm. 

            Make no mistake, as she walked up the bath, bare feet barely noticing the sharp gravel and over grown grass, the sound and breath of the mountain around her, she didn't lack for gratitude. Even Heero would never be enough to wish for her prison, his coming to her rescue was an unalloyed joy that even the longing for more than a protector couldn't diminish. Here she walked under her own power, outside of walls, and he was still near. 

            Why couldn't that be enough? The prospect of the days to come somehow managed to tarnish even her freedom. He'd leave as soon as possible, she'd almost expected him to open her door, haul her out, and leave her in the driveway as he drove off as fast as he'd driven here. 

            She couldn't blame him, not really. OH she could try, she could rail against fate and the pettiness of humans, but she couldn't hate him for wanting back to his life. And she knew part of the reason why she couldn't wish for more, why he wanted to be gone. Even now the light breeze blew a feather against her cheek.

            The car ride had been fine. He'd been quiet, and although the silence had not been a comfortable one, she'd understood that silence was in his nature. How could he know that she was dying inside for some hint to her fate. She'd needed to know, and then, silence broken, she saw him flinch when her wings brushed against him. 

            It wasn't a flinch like those you would normally witness and notice, he was far too controlled for that, but she'd seen his muscles tighten, had known that he couldn't stand the touch of them, the touch of the feathers that she felt everyday, every moment.

            That was the last thing she saw for a while, as she fought to keep her wings away from him and the ride became rougher and rougher. 

            And the speed! She'd thought they'd certainly slide into a tree, as he seemed to race to be rid of her. She'd even hoped for that very tree as feathers flew everywhere, if only to prolong the ride and his company just that bit longer.

            By now she stood on the old wooden porch, in the darker shadows. Though aged and worn, there were no splinters beneath her feet, each blank a dirty yet smooth surface she seemed to glide over. The door was right in front of her, and he was waiting on the other side.  

            Releena just wanted to stop there, stay on the old porch, outside and free, as long as that meant he'd still be waiting for her on the other side. She didn't want to take a step forward and find out how soon he'd be leaving, find out if he'd even let her say goodbye or brush bye her before she found her voice. But that was selfish and he didn't deserve her hesitation. She couldn't keep this moment any more than she could keep the others with him in them, just like she couldn't shed the ones from before. She had to let him leave.

            But as she depressed the latch, another thought paused her. Worse than seeing him for the last time would be finding the house empty, Heero already gone. 

            Releena knew he could manage it, disappear as suddenly as he'd come, sneak off without her noticing a thing. Each time he left her sight it was as if he'd already vanished and it was only an insane belief that he'd come back, or had ever been there at all. 

Would he have left the van if he planned on just leaving? Surely not, but then again, it wasn't as if it'd be any use to her without keys or a place to go. She wasn't exactly inconspicuous, it wasn't like she could disappear in a crowd. Would he have just left?

The suspense was too much to bear for longer than a breath, and she quickly continued to push open the door, her heart hammering in its cage. The door crashed into the wall with a sound that echoed like gunshot in the sound starved room, but it was as dark and as empty as she'd feared.

            But that meant nothing. He could easily be deeper in the house, no reason for him to wait for her in this outer room while she made what must have seemed a crawling progress out of the car. Every doubt she'd had he'd disproved, she just had to keep faith a little longer. Still, she couldn't talk away the tension that seemed to dance along her muscles.

            Dark adjusted eyes, more than used to seeing at night, could now just make out a darker doorway across the room. Surely it led to a hall and Heero. She was keeping him waiting. 

            The room smelt of dust and disuse, that slight musty smell mixing with the air from outside. Slowly she walked into to room, dust dancing about her ankles in a tickling cloud. There was barely enough light to see by, only a vague sense of furniture. She slid each foot slowly in front of her, hands outstretched, eyes straining, trying to avoid an accident that her wings only made more likely. She was just waiting for the crash that was sure to come. 

            Somehow she made it across, but now the hallway gaped blankly before her, no friendly spill of light from under a door guiding her way. Still, he had to be here. She'd heard no car starting, no helicopter roar. Deep down she knew if he'd left already, she'd had no chance of noticing, but even her mind couldn't find a reason for him to have left on foot.

            She stretched her fingers out along the walls, and cautiously continued her progress, now more blind than ever since the light from the open door didn't reach this far. The wood continued smooth though dusty under her toes, the walls equally so beneath her fingers. She could even tell how low the ceiling was from the occasional faint rasp of her wings against it, but no hint of Heero's presence.

            She strained every sense for a clue to his whereabouts, but she couldn't see anything. All she could feel was the wood at her sides and feet and the air that blew against her back. So taunt was she stretched that when her fingers encountered the sudden difference in texture of a door she nearly jumped, pulling her hands back in as if burned. Her heart, already thumping, leaped twice before she could laugh at her own foolishness.

            Without hesitation she opened the door. Anything was better than the dark, empty hall. The faint light from an uncurtained window seemed to flood out into the hall, but she was already searching the inside. The room was a small bedroom, sparsely furnished. The little she could see of it seemed comfortable, though unused, but it was empty.

            Heero wasn't there. Releena swallowed her disappointment, and resisted searching through the closet and under the bed; this wasn't some sick game of hide and seek, she just needed to go deeper. She turned to continue down that hall, and as she turned she reached behind her, searching for the wall. Instead of the expected wood, her fingers came up against cloth.

            With a small cry she could not quite suppress she spun to see the source; Heero stood barely a foot farther along the hall, now visible in the lighter darkness coming from the open doorway. 

             He was so _close. How long ad he stood there, not speaking while she searched silently in the dark? How could he have been there without her noticing, without her hearing some sign? Years spent listening for guards she couldn't see had made her an expert at catching the sound of footfalls, a careless breath, but of him she hadn't had a clue. Had he been watching without her knowledge as she blindly sought him?_

            Still, despite the suddenness of his appearance and her still scattered nerves, her senses thrilled to his presence. She now bitterly regretted that she'd snatched back her hand when she'd first touched him as he now backed up a step, out of reach. She found however, as he stood looking at her, that now that she'd found him, she didn't know what to say. 

            "I…I couldn't find you." She stammered, the thought foremost in her mind coming out her mouth at his retreat. She hadn't meant for it to sound so lost, but her mind was still on the thought of twining her fingers around the fabric of his shirt, of resting her cheek against him as he carried her, contact that seemed foreign now. Still, she managed to keep any tones of betrayal from her statement. When he left her, she didn't want him taking guilt. He'd done too much for her to allow that repayment.

            He'd already started to reply, although the words seemed to ignore her statement..

"The Generator is on now." Crisp. Neutral, and a sensible answer. Of course, the generator. They were much too far from a major city to have power lines, that was where he'd been, probably out back somewhere.

            "The lights should work now." He continued, and with that he reached past her to click on an overlooked switch by the door. She'd just enough time to feel the brush of his arm against her in the dark when the harsh light of the bulb sent her hiding behind her arms; after the gentle dark a hundred watts seemed much too bright. 

            Eyes dazzled by the onslaught, she could still hear Heero in military exactness explaining something.

            "The kitchen is farther down the hall, same with the bathroom. You'll stay in that room to your left, I'll be the next one on the right. There should be any trouble."

            Now she felt him move away, and tried to lift her eyes enough to see; she still couldn't hear any footsteps. Peeking under her arm, she just glimpsed him turn into the next door on the right, and close it solidly behind him without looking back. 

            She was alone in the too bright hall, and so she turned back to the bedroom he'd directed she use. He'd be down the hall? He was staying?

            Her senses were reeling. After the wild drive, his coldness, he was staying? He was just down the hall, he was staying with her; maybe not forever, but he was here tonight, and that was good enough.

            The light from the hall now lit the room, casting a golden glow on the wood. The entire building seemed made of wood, so different from the stone she'd been surrounded with, but still the room seemed empty. The windows were blankly open, no curtains or blinds, and a dust cover hid the chair and what seemed to be a desk. Even the bed had no sheets, only a mattress in an old frame.

            Still, the bedclothes were surely in one of the two dressers along the wall. The house had obviously been unused for awhile, why would the room be waiting as if ready for guests? What had she expected, the bed made and sheets turned down with chocolate? That Heero had as well as finding the generator gotten her room ready?

            Giddy with the relief of his continued company, Releena laughed softly to herself as she dug out the sheets and pillowcases. The idea  of Heero playing maid was just too ridiculous to let go. The sheets were where she'd thought they'd be, as well as an old quilt and pillows, and Releena swiftly relearn the skill of making a bed.

            When the sheets were tucked and the pillow plumped, Releena stilled her chuckles and looked at the bed. There was no way she could sleep there, indoors, on something so soft, in this empty room. He was staying with her, she was free, this room represented nothing of that. She had to get outside. 

            And she could. There were no bars here, no walls or locks stopping her. She wouldn't have to hid between the trees, there were no guards to avoid at all costs. Her only guard now she'd be happy to be found by.

            Grabbing the old quilt she draped it over an arm as she stepped back into the hall. But should she tell Heero where she was going? Would he worry? She walked softly to his door and stood hesitantly before it.

            The door looked just like any other, but she'd seen him go in. Carefully she pressed an ear against it, both palms leaning into it, up on her toes. 

            Nothing. He could be in there or not, and she had no way to tell. She couldn't even tell when he was in the same hall as her. Still, she held her breath and listened for any sign that he was there and awake. She didn't want to wake him if he'd already fallen asleep and he couldn't have gotten much rest since her arrival. 

            Nothing, and she wasn't brave enough to knock. Still she waited a bit longer until afraid he'd open the door to find her listening up against it, she stepped back. He'd be still be there tomorrow and she wouldn't go far. He had no need to worry, and she wasn't even sure he would. If he wanted to find her, she knew he'd have no difficulty. 

            Releena smiled, shifted the weight of the quilt and turned back to the entrance to find her way out. 


	12. Waiting

Waiting

Flightlessness Chapter 12

By EvilBunny

            Heero knew the moment she entered the house. The loud crash of the screen door announced her arrival in booming tones throughout the building, even to the small back room where Heero crouched over the old generator. The noise broke through the quiet night as harshly as a gun shot, but he didn't so much as twitch.

            He'd wondered what was taking her so damn long, but then maybe she was one of those who took her time about accomplishing things. Not everyone understood punctuality, not even some of the soldiers he'd worked with and especially not certain long haired pilots…but he'd thought better of her than that. 

            Or perhaps she'd entangled herself more thoroughly during the ride than he'd taken time to notice. He hadn't exactly stayed to check, but the generator had needed starting and she'd managed to find her way in at last. At least that saved him the trouble of going to find her and drag her out of whatever problem she'd entrenched herself in this time.

            It'd probably taken her more than a few minutes just to maneuver her wings out the car door; they'd taken long enough to get her into it in the first place, even with his help. There were just masses of the feathers, they seemed to be everywhere, each one softer than the next, white against her cream and possessing a life of their own,  so that you could barely see the road, phantom touches like sirens which hid her face, but still let you hear her breathing as they ran up and down your arms..

            Focusing in on the machinery, Heero blocked everything else from his mind. The generator sat covered in dirt, but well maintained and in excellent working order, he'd seen to that. He already knew that the kitchen would be well stocked with non-perishables and he'd seen Noin stack a crate of other foodstuffs in the back of the van before they left. Probably just the standard bread and basics, although he wouldn't put it past her to be catering to civilian tastes.

            Satisfied that decay hadn't set in,  Heero started the old machine up. It started with a choking cough before settling down to a healthy whirr. He stood, dusting some of the dirt off his knees. Dust covered everything in sight, he'd have to see to that. But there were more important things first. He'd heard her enter the house, so where was she? She hadn't called out, hadn't found him, it was time to go find her.

            Forget that there were only five rooms she could possibly be in and no danger that he wouldn't have found, or at least heard. She was simply taking too long. He had to know where she was. 

            The kitchen that the small garage-like room let onto was still dark, although the fridge now had the low hum of a working appliance instead of the silence of dead weight. The darkness proved no obstacle; nothing had changed since his last visit and he didn't need his eyesight to get out of a room without bumping into furniture. He couldn't begin to count the number of times he'd been blindfolded and left someplace where bumping into the 'furniture' would result in much worse than a barked shin or stubbed toe.

            There was even less light in the hallway, though that seemed barely possible, still he knew at a glance that someone else occupied it. And he knew just as surely that Releena was the occupier. 

            He didn't have any doubt, he knew who made their hesitant way down the narrow hall, but he kept quiet. He let his other senses build a picture of her for him; bare feet on the worn wooden floor, you could tell in the softness in the steps, hands out along the wall from the light click of her nails, those that weren't bitten ragged, and always the constant noise of her wings, never really silent, never really still. He could even imagine he felt the breeze they seemed to carry with them, smell that fresh garden scent and the shampoo she'd used, the same smells from when he'd carried her unconscious.

            In the dark, without vision, he could look his fill, knowing she couldn't look back with eyes that asked him for something he didn't understand and couldn't answer.

            He knew when she reached the door, so the return of light didn't comes as complete surprise, but nothing prepared him for his imaginings to suddenly come back to life. Nothing compared to actually seeing her, the white wings filling the hall entirely, spilling out of the open doorway like two great, grasping hands trying to pull themselves out. 

             He could even make out her face as she peered into the bedroom. He knew what she saw: empty bed, bare windows, there wasn't anything of interest in that room and the lost expression that swallowed her face drew him that step forward instead of back further into the shadows. Lost and lonely and searching and possessed of a power that called him. He shouldn't have left her so quickly, dammit he had better control than to let one little car ride unsettle him that badly.

            Still, when she reached blindly behind her and touched him, he realized it was just as well that the shock of finding him suddenly appear as if from nowhere sent her skittering away before she recognized him. That small contact of her fingers against his shirt nearly broke his control and he quickly put a bit more distance between the two of them. 

            But even the distance didn't help when she confirmed that her lost expression was for him. The dark hallways, the hushed tones, it was all too intimate, too much like their own little world, one with frightening possibilities and where nothing from the outside mattered. 

            He reflexively filled that world with light and words and escaped as soon as possible into the other bedroom.

            Heero closed the door behind him and stood unseeing in the Spartan room listening to his breathing which sounded harsh and slightly unsteady for the first time in years. The image of Releena hiding her dazzled eyes behind her arm under the full light had been no less enticing than the half glimpses in the near dark. The electric light just showed more clearly the pure white of her wings, her flawless skin, and how very fragile she seemed.

            But he was a soldier, she was under his protection, that should be _all_. And not just any soldier, the perfect soldier. Emotionless, unshakable, he couldn't remember a time when this wasn't true, when he hadn't know that it was his duty to fight, and had scorned the weakness of those around him. So why her? What was different? Why now when he didn't have a mission to escape to, a war that needed fighting? Why couldn't he ignore her like everyone else?

            He still didn't even understand how she was still sane. All the records and research he'd gone through before the mission, everything she'd told him herself, he had some idea what had been done to her. It made him seethe to think on it, and he wished he'd killed every doctor in the place personally, given them back ten-fold for every scar on her back, every haunted expression in her eyes. And then those bastards back at the base. 

He should have known she wasn't safe, and then her vacant expression, it almost made him shudder, but he fed that back into the anger. Anger he understood. That she wasn't completely mindless was nothing short of a miracle, she needed his protection now and he would never deny her. But he couldn't protect her properly if just knowing she was down the hall could distract him almost beyond endurance. She didn't need that and neither did he.

            No, replied the part of him that was aware of his surroundings even while he slept and certainly while his mind wandered, not down the hall; just outside your door.

Every muscle in his body tensed, and he froze, then relaxed, falling easily into the shallow breathing for stealth work. How she'd gotten that close without him noticing just proved that this distraction was dangerous, but she really was standing just outside his room. He knew from the small sounds and that sense of presence and recognition which had kept him alive all those years.

He'd though she'd surely gone to sleep, or at least to bed. What could send her to his door that wasn't urgent enough to warrant immediate communication? That would involve this nerve-wracking wait? She wasn't moving, she could barely hear her _breathing_. Heero kept motionless, his back barely a foot from the door, not even risking to turn to face the opaque wooden panel. The silence seemed instinctual, he couldn't let her know he too hadn't found immediate slumber, or had already noticed her presence.

Time seemed almost entirely forgotten but finally he felt her move away, all without a knock or a word. The release of tension came so quickly that it wasn't until the slight jar of the screen door that he realized she'd left the cabin.

_Where_ did she think she was going at this hour of night, in this type of situation? Now his curiosity, something he'd long believed killed, asked him what she had wanted at the door and questioned the wisdom of his silence, but that was quickly drowned by his first impulse to rush out and grab her, drag her struggling or quiet back. His second to just wait until she humbly returned seemed saner until he considered the wait in the empty cabin, alone, and his third sent him cautiously out the door and down the hall.

                She didn't have anywhere she could be running to, nothing around them for miles. If she was trying to escape then he'd badly misjudged something somewhere. Still, better to catch up with her quickly and quietly, so that if this was just her getting some air he wouldn't have let his mistake show. Never let the enemy see your weakness.

            The light from the hall still illuminated the area, and poured out through the living room and out the screen door, casting faint criss-crossed shadows out onto the gravel path and on his way out he flicked on the old porch light. The yellow bulb acted as a beacon in the forest. As long as she didn't stray far she wouldn't have much trouble finding her way back again.

            The forest was alive with sound, literally vibrating with life; the air still cold enough to have a bite. Heero paused on the porch for a moment, his shadow stark on the steps, a stone statue amid the organic growth, and absorbed the information that would lead him straight to her. He could just as easily have found a much fainter trail while half-blind and sleep deprived at a full out run, but he didn't want to run into her until he'd worked out what exactly Releena thought she was up to. 

            Slight disturbances in the gravel led him clearly to one of the almost paths that seemed to cover every forest. The leaves here still swayed slightly out of sync with their fellows, shouting of recent passage. At least she hadn't struck out into the heart of the woods, struggling blindly forward through areas too small to accommodate her wings, where brambles ran rampant and would tear at skin and clothing alike. 

            He followed the path calmly, confident now that she wasn't far and hadn't vanished. She couldn't be more than a couple of handfuls of seconds in front of him and he knew that he'd catch a glimpse of her at any moment.

            The forest seemed to swallow everything, forming a tunnel that he followed as easily as an open sidewalk. The trees here were huge, but the path still clear even at night, winding its way past overgrown underbrush.

            But of Releena still nothing. Every twist, every turn told him she'd been here, and recently. The leaves swayed, but he couldn't catch so much as a flash of white or the snap of a twig. The forest seemed to have stolen her and locked her away just out of sight. Surely he hadn't been that far behind. Was she running?

            That would explain the deeper footprints in the odd patches of dirt among the old and decaying leaves that he so easily avoided. Each one held steps far too deep for her slight form to have left normally but at least she hadn't used those wings to fly off on the wind.

            Heero increased his pace. This he understood: the pursuit. They ran, and he followed, a silent and deadly shadow. It didn't matter that she wasn't a threat or a target, couldn't possibly be either, but he wouldn't know until her found her, so he just had to find her.

            He ran silently, listening for the sounds her flight, but still only the commons sounds of the forest at night surrounded him. It was like chasing a ghost. He could neither see her nor hear her, but he knew she was there, running just out of sight, out of reach, leading him onwards and farther and he could do nothing but follow. She left all the physical traces, broken twigs, heavy prints, even a feather, but none of that satisfied, he needed her.

            It didn't matter that he'd only chased a minute, that she hadn't left the path once, that she seemed to make no effort to hide her flight or even that she had no reason to flee him. It never occurred to him to call out to her, to tell her he was following, to ask her to wait. This was a hunt, and she'd become prey.

            So when the path abruptly opened out into a small clearing revealing that same prey Heero didn't step out to greet her, but slipped sideways into the shadows.

            She stood panting at the center of the small clearing, the grass up past her knees, staring upwards at the sky. The moon, out now from behind the clouds that had covered it earlier, shown faintly down on her, just a sliver of light. It washed out all the colour from the scene, painting the grass the same colour as her legs and giving her the sense of something grown, not born.

 He could probably have walked right up to her without her noticing, but he still waited for her to turn round and confront him, pierce through his hiding place and…and he wasn't sure what would follow that. But she didn't. She just stood there, her head flung back so that her hair hid every scar, her wings stretched out about her, looking for all the world like an angel patiently waiting to be called back to heaven.

She didn't seem to be looking at anything, nor going anywhere, and Heero slowly let the adrenaline of the chase leave him. He'd hunted her just like any other target, and now he could settle down to another familiar task, waiting. Why she'd thought this late night commune with an empty field so important didn't seem nearly so vital now that he could keep an eye on her. In fact, it just made his job easier since he could keep an eye on her here much easier than back at the cabin, put into separate rooms.     

When she finally turned back he'd simply follow her, though still undecided whether he would reveal his vigilance or not. 

Finally she seemed to return to herself and she bent to retrieve something from her feet. She held the bundle as if it was precious, burying her face for a few breaths in it before walking slowly straight towards him. 

Heero caught himself speculating on the different weapons that he could hide in a bundle that size and shape and squashed the thought as she turned towards the largest tree in the circle.

For a moment he had thought she'd seen right to him, but obviously she was just as clueless as earlier. And when she turned he realized she held one of the bedroom quilts in her arms, not some weapon of destruction that she'd mysteriously found out in the woods. Could she possibly mean to sleep out here?

Heero couldn't really feel the cold, but he knew that not everyone possessed his disregard for weather. Surely she didn't intend to stay the night with nothing but the quilt. What did she think his reaction would have been on waking to find her gone from the cabin?

But she was already settling herself among the old roots, curling like a kitten, her wings hiding what the quilt didn't, wrapping her arms around the roots as if welcoming an old friend. 

Heero waited a few more minutes, watching, but nothing further stirred. With a silent sigh he settled himself into a more comfortable, seated position against the tree where he could just see the tops of her wings stirring with the leaves. He would keep watch until she woke.

(Author's notes and the replies to all your review questions are in the author bio thing, so that I don't have to put pages of them here. Go check, they won't be there forever.)


	13. Heat

Chapter 13

Heat

By EvilBunny

Relena stepped down off the porch. Finally there weren't any more walls. The night contained no more sinister noise than an occasional owl hunting for mice. No heavy tramp of soldiers sent her into a cold sweat, no noises from beyond her stone prison to make her shudder.

Quickly she took the fifteen paces that would usually bring her from one side of her garden to the other, and just as rapidly continued on. Still no wall and here was a small path that she couldn't even see the end of, that continued out before her in infinite freedom, winding through the darkened forest. She was free, she could _run._

Her feet completed that thought almost before she was aware she'd made it. The night didn't fill with shouts, she didn't feel the sights of sniper guns on her back. Branches and leaves surrounded her, slapped at her, but she concentrated her entire being on running, and the pure sense of space all around her. No walls, no prison, no guards. She could run for as long as her traitorous body allowed without the fear or pursuit, without the careful marshalling of resources.

Which, she quickly discovered, wasn't going to be very far. Already her muscles were beginning to burn, and her lungs couldn't seem to get enough air. She wasn't running from anything, or to anywhere. She didn't have any adrenaline to feed off of, pumped through a body whose mind was frozen by fear. She could stop anytime, without consequence, without worry. The very idea was like a drug and sung through the air, warming her.

Relena gave herself over to the sensation of running through the forest, the quilt warm in her arms, feeling every twig under her feet and relishing the novelty of a path whose twists she didn't know by heart. Everything here was new and fresh and untainted. There was an entire world around her, a world that she'd could reach out and touch. She'd begun to wonder if it really existed, and here it was, all hers.

The path she followed suddenly let out into a small clearing and she spun to a stop, gasping for air. She stared blindly at the sky, breathing in the night, feeling the flush of exertion, not caring about anything other than the ability to run in something other than circle, letting her mind go blank as the night air breathed around her.

She dug her toes further into the dirt beneath her, the long, wild grass hiding past her knees. She could feel the rough edges tickling against her thighs, grass unlike the weeds she knew. This was heaven. If she could just put down roots, she'd stay here forever, never feeling anything but peace.

But there were other clearings, other runs. She didn't need to wish for the escape of something even farther from human, she was safe already.

Relena bent and retrieved the quilt where she'd abandoned it at her feet. He was back at the house, probably warm and asleep. She wanted to just crawl into bed with him, let him touch away her nightmares. Just as well she was too far away to chance it, he'd never let her past the door. She itched to glide her fingers along his skin, map his presence in touch. Any moment he could be gone. But he'd stayed with her, so maybe, maybe tomorrow she'd reach out and he'd still be there. Maybe tomorrow she would be brave enough.

With dreams of tomorrow Relena set off to the oldest tree in the grove, settling into the familiar embrace of roots and trunk, finding the added warmth and comfort of the old quilt blissful, if somewhat more awkward than expected.

Her wings seemed to cocoon her, and the silence of her surroundings did what she'd hardly believed possible after so many changes, and lulled her to sleep.

-------------------------------------- --------------------------- --------------------------------- ---------------------

She ran further and further through deeper and darker woods, and in complete silence. Leaves of every shape hemmed her in along her narrow path, impenetrable masses, each branch blown as if by a different wind. They did not rustle, just a never-ceasing movement that ran along the sides of her vision while she focused on the ground before her, flickering distractedly when she tried to think, tried to remember.

The path went on before, seeming to appear anew each moment, and sometimes turning in on itself so quickly that she barely had time to change direction, half running into the frantically shifting leaves, but never slowing, she couldn't, couldn't.

Her breath rasped in her lungs, but she couldn't hear it. Her pounding feet hit the earth with every step, but she could just as easily be treading on air for all the sound it generated. Even her uneven heartbeat, which throbbed in her ears and chest seemed to be only a sensation, not a noise.

She ran. Not faster or slower, just running past leaves which seemed to have gone mad, more black than green. Running not as if her life depended on it, but as if this was her life.

But one leaf was silver. She saw it as she ran by, caught by the flash of bright amidst so much dark, and time seemed to slow as she took in every vein, each fine toothed edge, all perfect metal that bent in the wind as easily as its organic compatriots. Then running.

But now more silver appeared along her way, making it impossible to concentrate solely on her feet. The veins of a leaf here, the edging of that branch there and occasionally even one tree that stood completely silver in the unfamiliar light. Even the mulch under her feet seemed to have the rare hint of metal, growing hard beneath bare feet. The silent wind picked up and Relena made yet another turn.

Maelstrom of silver, every branch, every leaf hung with pure metal and whipped around with storms in the oppressive silence. She ran through it all, faster, and now the leaves reached out, crossed her path.

She felt the first branch that struck, a scored line across her cheek, leaving a kiss of fire behind it. She could feel heat trickling down from the wound, hot blood that pumped in time with her heart and her pace, but she didn't have time to stop, or even to slow enough to wipe away the damage.

After the first one, she lost count immediately, the storm engulfed her, consumed her. Legs, arms, stomach, face, nothing seemed protected. She could even feel her feet, cut to ribbons, all in the peaceful silence, with no telltale whine through the air, or rasp of metal as it slid through flesh.

So she ran faster. The forest on either side whipped by, sped faster. She stood back in the van and the leaves outside the window rushed by, back to their glossy green. Still silver surrounded her, beat at her, cut at her. Burnt at her. Begged her to come back to them.

Instead of leaves, her soft wings had become metal, hard, unforgiving. The scenery flashed by, but she couldn't hear anything, no engine, no gravel, and as she tried to catch the feathers that the rough road threw about her, tried to control them, they continued to cut her hands, to flay her face. Each cut added to the suffocating heat, the heavy silence. Razor edged she couldn't bear to touch them, and could only cover her face as they fought around her in an inferno.

The sky was lighter, and sound rushed in around her, comfort hidden in the thousands of little noises that hid unnoticed until they abandoned you. The return of the world stunned her, and all she could think of in those first moments of wakefulness was how very much lighter the clearing had become. Dawn must be on its way.

She was still too hot and her skin felt tight, as if it no longer fit right. She was wound up in a quilt, sweat soaked, her wings flung out around her while she sat curled up against the tree as if seeking protection. But this wasn't one of her trees. Not one of the familiar friends who had protected her when she dragged herself weeping to its silent embrace. Where was she?

Relena felt a strange lack of urgency in this question. There wasn't any threat, she knew that somehow she was safe, even though nothing around her seemed at all familiar. Perhaps it was that very unfamiliarity that comforted her.

She'd woken up in strange rooms before, with new scars and no memories, but all those rooms looked alike. All had the same white walls, threatening mirrors, and that smell of disinfectant and blood.

Likewise she'd found herself back in her garden, drenched in sweat and shaking, face down in the dirt as if thrown with wrists rubbed raw from an unrecalled struggle, but she'd never awoken outside, somewhere new, and carefully wrapped to keep warm.

As the dream slowly began to fade, the sharp trills of birdsong broke through the clearing. Relena sat and listened to them before slowly beginning to unwind the quilt around her. Somehow she'd managed to wrap it entirely around herself while she slept, and removing it seemed to involved more twisting on her part than usual.

She smiled while the birds continued to sing away, uninterrupted and unabashed in their expression of joy in the morning. She had something to be thankful for too, Heero was waiting for her. He had stayed with her. She had to return to him.

The wind pushed through the treetops, weaving the leaves in patterns that the old trunk behind her protected her from. He was waiting, and her dreams were just nightmares that she could dismiss.

She stood a little unsteadily. The air still seemed too warm, and even the soft pre-dawn light a little too bright. The faint wind, nothing like the gale from her night of running, ruffled her hair, but didn't seem to bring any coolness.

She took a faltering step forward, nearly tripping herself in the quilt that still clung to her ankles. She just couldn't seem to balance her wings right and the base of them itched fiercely, in the one spot she knew she couldn't reach.

Her unrefreshing sleep had left a thick taste in her mouth that she couldn't seem to get rid of. All she wanted was a glass of water and somewhere comfortable to curl up where she could watch Heero as she drank. She didn't care what he was doing, she still didn't know how long he would be here and she had to store up as many sights of him as she could.

Relena took a moment to find the path she'd come in along and then waded carefully towards it. The deep grass tickled, and Relena felt an unfamiliar smile tugging at her lips as she picked her way delicately across.

It wasn't until she stepped into the darker shadows, nearly under the closely packed trees that she caught sight of him.

Heero sat with his back against the trunk, legs out in front of him, arms folded carefully across his chest and his eyes shut. He must have followed her out, guarding her while she slept. Even in repose he looked ready for action.

A twig snapped loudly under her foot and Relena froze, guilty at waking him. But Heero didn't move. His chest still gently rose with each breath. He couldn't be dead, and he didn't look sick, but he should have woken at her incautious step. He should have woken up the moment she'd stirred from her spot; there was no way she should have been able to get so close to him without his knowledge. Either something was very, very wrong…or he was faking.

Why he was faking didn't matter, just that she'd caught him at it. And she was going to make sure he knew that she'd found out.

The smile she'd lost when he hadn't opened his eyes now returned full force, with an impish hint that was enough to have made anyone nervous, if anyone was watching. Surrounded by birdsong and the early morning breeze, Relena felt a mischievous glimmer that she hardly recognized, from before the nightmares, begin to unfurl.

She crossed the last two steps towards him lightly, just that little bit off the path, now being careful to avoid any noisy sticks. Gracefully she leaned towards him. Well, she meant to lean, but again her wings unbalanced her and she fell awkwardly to her knees, her hands barely catching her in time.

She rebalanced quickly, but the jar still rattled through her oddly. A quick look at Heero showed his face as calm as ever, nothing so much as twitched. He hadn't stirred, hadn't sighed or even shifted since she'd caught sight of him. He could just as well have marble for flesh.

If he had really been asleep, her falling down right beside him should certainly have woken him up. Gingerly she leaned closer, expecting his eyes to shoot open at any moment, but they remained resolutely closed. Perhaps staring wouldn't be sufficient.

Relena gave a quiet sigh of confusion and watched as her breath moved his bangs just a little, those messy brown bangs that she wanted to run her fingers through. She blew again. Still nothing. With a smothered giggle she scooted closer still, where she was almost touching him, her wings shadowing them both and let out a soft breath along his cheek. She traced her warm breath down his neck, her mouth barely an inch away from him, her hair falling down over her face to tickle along his collarbone. Surely he'd have to look.

No response. Maybe he really was asleep. She hadn't caught so much as an eyelid flicker. Maybe he slept heavier than she'd assumed. She took another, closer look at his face, her nose almost touching his. Maybe he really did sleep like a motionless statue.

She felt a little silly now at her error; he'd fallen asleep out here, watching over her, instead of warm in his bed because she'd wanted to be outdoors. Not like the woods had done her any good. The nightmares had been as bad as always, and if anything she felt more exhausted now than when she'd first curled up against the tree, the unsettling feelings from the dream still curling around her.

She could just as well have stayed in the cabin and he wouldn't have had to fall asleep outside in what looked like a rather uncomfortable position. He'd obviously followed her out, had possibly been here the whole time. From this spot she could just see the tree that she'd fallen asleep against across the clearing. He would have had a perfect view to keep watch. She should have known he wouldn't let her out of his protection that easily.

He had to be cold too. She still felt overheated, but surely a quilt would have done him some good. He shouldn't be sleeping without any comfort at all, not because of her.

She wouldn't have dared even offer her quilt to him if he'd been awake, but asleep he seemed just that little bit more approachable. Quickly, before she could think about it, she pressed a swift kiss to his lips, softly, a sort of thank you for looking after her even when she didn't know he was there.

It was just for a second, and then she quickly scrambled to her feet. She might never get another chance quite like that, and she felt almost giddy at her own audacity. He'd slept through all the rest, hopefully he's just sleep through that too.

She'd actually taken a step away to retrieve the quilt when she felt his hand close around her wrist in a grip that froze every muscle in her body, except for her heart which seemed to be single handedly trying to make up for the immobility of the rest of her. She thought she might have a heart-attack right there.

His hand seemed to burn and she knew her face must be bright pink. He'd woken up. And now, now he was going to kill her.

Maybe he hadn't noticed her kiss.

Relena stayed motionless, like a bird that refuses to move in the hope of invisibility, but the sound of her name drew her around, almost against her will yet powerless to resist. She turned on her heels, using the hand that still branded her as a pivot and the sight of him made her blush even deeper.

Not only was it obvious he'd noticed, but also that he'd truly been awake the entire time. What would he think of her now? She'd just waltzed in, uninvited, and…and she had no idea what he was going to do.

His face held an unreadable intensity and Relena shivered at the dark, unrecognizable look in his eyes. She shouldn't have presumed and now he was standing up and he'd leave her and he was standing up and all coherent thought stopped as his lips came slanting down on her own.

His kiss was desperation and sweetness, an almost bruising force that came unexpectedly but to which she reacted with a frightening instantaneousity.

The hand that didn't hold her wrist came up to brush her check as he seemed to devour her, his tongue hungry and possessive. She was on fire and he fed the flames, every touch white hot as she moaned and wrapped both arms around his neck and he buried his fingers in her hair and tilted her face even farther back.

No, she was ice, and he burned with that sharp cold that seems hotter than heat, that tingles and dissolves but doesn't leave a mark though you come out gasping as his arm snaked around her waist and pulled her to him where she molded and melted against him.

His hand traveled up her back, splaying out against her spine above the cut in her dress and she was sure it would leave a handprint on her skin, burnt there by his touch and she let out a gasp, but she couldn't seem to think as he started to follow her jawline with quick, burning tastes and all she could do was breath in soft, gasping sounds and dig her nails into his shoulder.

It wasn't until his hands reached the base of her wings that she realized something was wrong. Suddenly the fire, the burning in her broke loose as a thousand needles struggled to get out from under her skin. She forgot his arms, his lips, even him as the pain suddenly revealed itself in every muscle and she screamed as the world dissolved around her.


	14. Breath

Chapter 14

Breath

By EvilBunny

AUTHOR'S NOTE: February 11, 2006 –Editing continues

Warm breath fanned across his cheek in a tantalizing wave and Heero froze. Although his body calmly kept up the sham of deep, uninterrupted sleep, his mind ceased all activity and seemed aware of only one thing.

He'd known the moment she'd awoken, had been waiting for her consciousness while she'd whimpered in her dreams. If she hadn't finally swum her own way out of whatever nightmare had gripped her, he'd been two thoughts away from dragging her out of her unhealthy sleep himself.

But with a last hitch in her throat she'd opened her eyes to reality and he'd finally shut his own. Feigning sleep seemed the best option, and conveniently kept him from having to explain himself to her. Not that he had to explain himself. Obviously it wasn't safe for her to be out on her own and perfectly natural for him to have followed her. She knew the world was a dangerous place without him having to tell her. There didn't need to be any other reason than that.

Still he'd kept still. He'd known she'd see him on her way back to the cabin, known she'd stop for a moment. He'd watched her discover him from lowered lids that gave every impression of a restful slumber and revealed nothing. He'd expected her to either wake him, or to continue her path. Either worked.

He hadn't expected the speculative gleam that appeared in her eye when a twig snapped beneath her incautious foot and he'd remained still.

He certainly hadn't expected her to fall to her knees beside him. She'd fallen and he hadn't caught her, but keeping up the pretense of sleep had suddenly become terribly important. It was a test of wills, and in that game he always won. He'd already made one misjudgment in maintaining too perfect a façade of unacknowledgement. He hadn't guessed how well she already knew him. He couldn't afford to let her gain any more ground.

But the breath that suddenly curled along his face and wrapped itself delicately around his neck had become the focus, erasing all those previous thoughts. He allowed his eyes to drift shut that final bit, so that not even a flicker would give him away and let himself lose himself in the sensation. She was so close.

Heero couldn't have moved now even if he'd wanted to, and he wasn't about to even try until he found out what she was about to do next.

He could tell exactly where she was. Could envision the way her wings sprang up about them, creating a pocket of shifting shadows under the already shaded tree. He could feel the almost brush of her skin when she shifted, could even envision the confused look on her face at his continued unresponsiveness.

Heero barely suppressed a smile as she peered closer, her nose almost touching him. She must be at a complete loss, hovering just near him, searching for any sign, convinced of his awareness of unable to discover any proof. He tried to concentrate on his own breathing, keeping it even and fighting the urge to open his eyes suddenly and startle her, pretend to wake up. Still, sleep was best. She'd give up soon.

It was with relief spiced with disappointment that he finally felt her slowly withdraw. The ordeal was almost over, and he waited for her to finally stand up and move on.

The kiss came completely unexpected. Soft and swift and so sudden that he wasn't even sure what had happened until she was already on her feet and moving away. A taste of lips that was stolen almost guiltily wiped all thought of sleep pretension from his mind and crystallized a hereto unknown idea.

He moved to stop her retreat almost without thought, locking his hand around her small wrist in an unshakable hold. The skin was soft and warm, the veins just under the surface filled with life. She'd frozen the moment he'd take hold of her and now seemed to hope that immobility would hide her despite evidence of her detection.

Still she wouldn't turn around. He had to see her, and her name came out more as a growl and a demand than a word. All this time she'd been a mystery, the embodiment of an enigma he couldn't seem to deal with properly. She'd confounded all his responses, seeming to work within rules of her own. But now he knew exactly what to do with her, and it suddenly had precious little to do with protection.

Her pulse beat in his hand like a captured bird whose heart might burst from fear as she turned slowing towards him, pivoting reluctantly.

The pale morning light glinted off each gold hair, dancing over the night's snarls, artlessly disheveled, showing the pink blush that had begun to rise across her face as her eyes held a guilty, questioning gaze.

He was on his feet before she'd stopped moving. All he could think of was that slight brush of breath, of skin, of feathers on a drive that had never seemed to end and that blank look of non-recognition that had nearly stopped his heart.

She _was _his. He could have killed her, should have killed her, couldn't kill her. She was the reason he was here in the woods, for no purpose but making sure she wasn't attacked or driven mad or alone. In two days she'd become _his_ reason. And maybe this was why.

Heero kissed her. He claimed her with one hand still firmly wrapped around her wrist and the other coming to brush lightly along her cheek, the skin warm just this side of hot under his fingers.

God she was beauty and tasted like…like…there was nothing to compare her to. Nothing in his regimented life gave him any words to describe the sensation. When she let out a small noise and wrapped her arms around him, Heero let out a groan and gathered her closer giving into the desire he hadn't even known was there.

She filled the whole world and he buried his hands in that glorious hair, searching to hear that noise from her again. She'd scream his name by the end, and all up and down his arms her feathers hovered, still tempting, still teasing.

He'd long ago released her wrist, and now reached around her, dragging her to him and starling a gasp from her. Every breathy noise she made just seemed to drive him further and she felt so perfect against him, every touch acting as fuel.

The base of her spine held just a trickle of scars, small roughness against his trained hands amidst satin. He was going to trace each one, follow and memorize their paths until she _begged _him.

The skin at the source of her wings held just a hint of down, of a softness not found in humans. He felt Relena stiffen just a bit and with no more warning than that everything shattered at the sudden, raw scream that tore through her throat.

The scream wasn't in terror or fear and nothing resembling what he was now confident he could coax from her. This was raw pain, the type that brought everything else down to insignificance and the very sound he'd hoped to protect her from.

Heero nearly dropped her in surprise, releasing her abruptly to try to stop whatever damage he'd done. But the moment his support left her she seemed to crumple and he had to catch her, careful of her wings, holding her up while maintaining defense and scanning the clearing for enemies.

The forest still stood deserted, nothing hinting at the cause of the pain that now seemed to pour out of Relena. He hadn't thought himself so far gone that he wouldn't have noticed a hostile approach, no matter how stealthy. That ever wakeful, ever watchful part of his mind that had been drilled into him so long ago had kept an awareness of the situation, even when he had thought himself consumed, and it reported nothing more out of the ordinary than a few scudding clouds.

The area secured, Heero returned his attention to Relena calling her name softly, looking for any type of response.

Wherever she was, it wasn't with him in the clearing nor did it seem to be the same psychological damage he'd already encountered. Her eyes under their lids were blank and staring, no focus anywhere in her face but on the sounds that ripped from her as every muscle seemed locked and straining and her skin almost burning to the touch.

There wasn't any blood, no wound, her fingers were clenched around his arm in bruising clarity. There were no clues to what was wrong, nothing he could fix. He had to get her to help and soon.

The nearest hospital was miles way, and he knew he couldn't just show up with her in an emergency room. There were too many risks there, and no one would know how to help her. He'd formed four plans and rejected them just as quickly as he gathered her up to head back to the van or at least to the house when the sound abruptly stopped and Relena went limp.

The sudden dead weight was more frightening than any sound and for a moment Heero froze, Relena draped across his arms, her hair tangled about her wings and his hands. Then with a convulsive twist her whole body started to tremor.

Any thought of calling for aid and then waiting at the cabin was now instantly discarded as Heero began a steady jog out of the forest.

She was shaking like a leaf, her breath seeming to rasp in her throat. The path between the trees now continued indefinitely, winding unnecessarily. He counted each of her breaths as he ran, each one proving that she was still there, that it wasn't too late.

This wasn't a face of death he knew. He was meant to protect by killing, to act as a weapon. Soldiers fell in battle, but it was a choice. If you weren't fast enough you didn't survive, and the most you could do was help staunch the blood and move on. They didn't just suddenly fall for no reason and you didn't irrationally wish that you could stop running just for a moment to listen to their heartbeat when you could already tell they breathed. You didn't _care_ so much that you could barely think of the best thing to do. This wasn't how it worked.

There! The van. He had her inside and buckled severely without missing a step and he had the emergency phone out of the glove compartment and dialed before he'd gotten over to his door.

The three minutes (28 rasping breaths and one whimper that had left his hand white knuckled around the steering wheel) that it took for Noin to finally be connected saw the van down the driveway and already speeding down the road. There weren't any code words for this, no small phrases with predetermined meanings that he could utter and know that everything would be provided. He needed to talk to someone who would grasp the situation, but everything moved so slowly…

"Noin here." The calm voice, crisply efficient, brought him back to his reality and returned him to the military calm that had never before deserted him, though for once it felt only skin deep.

"We need a helicopter and a medical team at once. Relena is in some type of seizure and needs immediate hospitalization." Giving the orders seemed to ground him. Remain calm, think logically and be clear. It's what he had always done. There was no reason why this had to be any different.

"Of course." Came the reply. Concern coloured Noin's voice even through the military detachment and over the phone. "We'll have it sent to the cabin immediately and I'll make the necessary arrangements."

"Too far. We'll meet you at the seventy-six marker crossing. There's a field." That would cut the helicopter flight time nearly in half, would avoid the mountain range and was much better than waiting while Relena continued to shake herself to pieces beside him. Already she twitched so hard that he worried she'd break free from the seatbelt he'd buckled over her arms to keep her in place.

"That's nearly forty miles from your position. Are you sure you can get there?"

"Yes."

Whatever protest Noin would have made was cut off as Heero quickly turned off the phone and stuffed it down beside him. The beautiful morning light now provided him with a clear view of the road, and he pushed the speed even further.

Again Relena's wings danced about them in an ever accelerating car and again he didn't dare take a glance at his passenger though his attention focused on her completely. Now though he didn't look because he knew it couldn't do any good, that once he started glancing towards her it wouldn't be long until her wanted stop the van just to make sure she was alright. There simply wasn't time.

Even under the noise of the engine and the gravel he counted her breaths, which had reached a rapid and shallow pace that worried him as much as the still increasingly violent shaking, the numbers a background reassurance.

He should have seen this coming. That was the thought that now bounced itself around him as he drove to the rendezvous. He should have seen signs of this attack before it had struck, should have acted to prevent it. He should have noticed her lack of balance, that here skin had felt too hot because it _was_ too hot. If he hadn't been pretending to sleep he could have noticed her stumble, could have gotten her on the way to help before it'd gotten this bad.

Perhaps she'd been trying to wake him up to tell him something was wrong. Nothing ever struck without some warning, and he never missed the warnings. NEVER. He'd let his attention waver from his duty and this was the result.

He should never have acted on that impulse, he should have ignored her breath curling aground him and surely then he would have known. He should never have let her distract him from her protection.

The forest sped by and when the gravel ended he pushed the speed yet again. He'd get to the helicopter, it wasn't a question with Relena's unconscious tremors beside him, but slowly he tried to bring his attention back to the road. Getting her to help was important, nothing else was.

Finally the crossroads came into view. Heero drove straight into the field, skidding to a stop and flung open his door to stand scanning the sky. He'd made the trip even faster than he'd expected. He should have chosen a different site, gotten them even closer.

But there, coming over the trees was a small speck headed towards them. From that distance, they wouldn't be here for over five minutes, but he headed around the van anyway. He couldn't leave her strapped down any longer. If she came to, and felt imprisoned…he wouldn't risk it.

Her skin still held the feverish heat, and her whole body still shook in an almost constant motion. He held her down lightly, barely touching her. He focused all his attention on the approaching helicopter. He would stay clear-headed and efficient. He had to.

He didn't think of anything but plans for the next few minutes, judging the slowly closing distance, waiting for when he could pick her up and get her to the waiting team without having to stand just waiting.

When the 'copter finally began its descent Heero bundled her in his arms, and walked forwards, her wings whipping around them both.

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The hospital was a conveniently situated and orderly facility, well-used to military presence. Still, Relena's arrival brought more upheaval and speculation than Heero had wanted.

Her stretcher seemed surrounded with more of a clinical force than strictly necessary and Heero quietly installed himself in the far corner of the room. He leaned himself up against the off-white walls where he could observe them all.

They'd tried to get him to leave early on, even suggesting he follow the helicopter in the van when he'd reluctantly handed her over. He'd ignored them then, just as he ignored the occasional request now. The voice that said he just didn't want to let her out of his sight was firmly ignored, and even argued into submission. There was no way he was leaving Relena alone with people of the very profession that haunted her. Nor was he entirely convinced they could take care of security, and he wasn't about to let them do anything more than necessary to her. He wasn't letting them carry her into surgery without her permission if it wasn't life threatening. The reason didn't have to be anything more complicated than that.

So he watched the blood tests and the oxygen mask, the muttering over charts and print outs, the surreptitious glances at her wings, and even held his tongue when they hooked her up to an IV. Slowly her shaking started to stop and a more peaceful expression began to surface.

Whenever a doctor or aid seemed to get too curious about her back, or started to discuss more tests to find out just how the scientists had achieved such and such effect, a more concentrated glare quickly sent them back on track. The frantic-paced bustle of their arrival started to ebb and the seeming masses of people began to trickle off.

Any chance of keeping her existence a secret had been blown, regardless of strict requests for discretion but at least they were in a secluded area of the building, and they should be long gone before any press caught wind of more than the barest rumour.

They'd saved her though. The moment the blood test had come back the problem had been obvious. She had traces of a staggering number of drugs, several illegal, and had been going through the signs of severe and abrupt withdrawal. Her body hadn't been able to withstand the sudden cessation of whatever treatment she'd been forced into.

Those bastards who'd done this to her evidently hadn't been content with merely the transformation itself. Evidently the drugs in her were to force continued growth, hormones pumping through her to enhance the wings and feathers, at whatever cost.

No wonder her back still bore fresh scars, the wings had never been allowed to stop growing. They'd probably drugged everything she'd touched since they'd first taken her: food, water, anything. It wouldn't have mattered if she refused the pills; they'd given her the drugs without her ever knowing. Probably the only thing she'd been able to avoid were the pain killers and sedation.

Heero fought down the anger that still simmered in him from the news and followed the last doctor out the door. He needed to discuss security and find Noin to give his report and make sure all of the doctors knew this was classified.

He hated to leave her, but he couldn't explain to his superiors why he needed to stay by her side when there was no perceivable threat and she was no longer in danger, not if he was to retain any semblance of professionalism. He would be barely down the hall, in sight of the only door, and would just have to hope she didn't wake up before he got back. The doctors said she could sleep for over twelve hours, surely she could wait half an hour for him to find his way back to her.


	15. Reaching

Disclaimer: Gundam wing isn't mine.

Apology: yes, it took forever and a day. I'm sorry. Last semester simply left me with no energy for anything. (vertebrate anatomy comparison can do that.)

AUTHORS NOTE: February 6th, 2006. So I've finally begun going through these chapters and editing and fixing Relena's name because really, that just needs to be done. Since I'm about to write a new chapter, I've begun at the end, so I apologize for the inconsistency. I'm also looking for a Beta reader if there's anyone interested because frankly the number of typos I've come across is ludicrous.

Chapter 15

Reaching

By Evil Bunny

With a sharp gasp Relena's eyes flew open, blind though finally aware. The air pulled harshly into her lungs as her neck arched backwards amongst the spilled pillow of her hair, bowing her back. Her fingers grasped at nothing and everything, nails frantically searching as her eyes rolled up and sought refuge back behind her lashes.

With the second breath she seemed to come further into the room from wherever she'd retreated to, whatever haven or darkness she'd run to from the pain. Her eyelids sunk back down, almost covering the eyes which, though still desperately dancing about the room, now showed some sense of vision.

She knew where she was. The knowledge came swift and sudden, a lead weight that sat in her stomach and flowed through her limbs, fed by every sensation about her. She didn't know the specifics. She didn't know how she'd gotten here, but she knew this place. This hell. Knew it better than anything else in the world. Knew the smell that surrounded her, of cleanliness and death and despair. Knew the sharp pinprick of pain in her arm, a pain that connected her to god only knew what. Most of all she knew the fierce ache along her back which seemed to pulse about her.

Whatever they'd done this time burned like a living tattoo, its pattern morphing and changing even as she thought of it, melting its way into her bones, laying fierce claim to her once more. She almost expected the walls to be crawling with it, dark patters that swirled on the edge of awareness. Surely this much pain would make a mark on the world around her, a memory for all to see.

Relena swallowed the whimper crawling up her throat, concentrating on just breathing. The familiar mechanical beep of her too rapid heartbeat dominated the room, filling the small, sterile space. She couldn't hear anyone near her, could sense no looming presence. For the moment she was alone, and she wrung what comfort she could from that small fact. They must not have meant for her to wake up so soon, and she took pleasure in thwarting them even in this small act.

Her heartbeat continued, wrapping her in a white void where she floated apart from it all. The beat came from her heart, acted on her heart, fed back and forth until there was nothing else. She would have doubted her own existence if not for the uncomfortable reality of the bed beneath her cheek and fingertips, which rasped with the smallest movement and the heavy weight of the sheets about her legs.

Relena stared blankly at the wall in front of her. It was empty, painted a soft cream, its only defining feature a small window which reflected the paleness and emptiness of the room back at her as her heartbeat filled her ears.

A window? Since when was there a window? There were never any windows in these blank walls and bright lights and nightmares. She was underground, hidden, cut-off from all humanity and no longer even a member of those ranks. Relena shifted in confusion, trying to wrap her heavy thoughts around this discrepancy, searching now for other differences, trying to open herself to new information beyond her screaming muscles.

As her senses began to sluggishly return, and she started to test the limits of her confinement, the realization hit with a fizzing burst of adrenaline. Not only was she on her side and not forced onto her front, her back vulnerable to all the room, but she was unrestrained. There was nothing wrapped around her wrists or ankles, nothing constricting her breathing and movement. They'd _forgotten_.

Suddenly Relena was desperate to act before someone returned to fix their mistake, to laugh at her hope. She gave a shudder and rolled herself off the bed, landing without a hint of grace. The sharp pain in her arm told her that the IV had ripped out, but it and the impact of the floor on her bare knees and arms barely registered as the room whirled about her, her wings quickly hiding the spinning walls as they settled achingly on either side of her. Her head barely felt attached to the rest of her body, as if it floated far away, somewhere safe.

She could hear her heartbeat speed up and began forcing slow, even breaths into her lungs, forcing the air down like medicine. They mustn't hear her faster heart, mustn't come to investigate. They'd finally grown careless and she wouldn't have her own heart betray her chance at escape. This time she could flee, run from whatever world of pain they had concocted in their sick little minds, she could fight back.

She had to move, to get out, run, hide, somewhere, something. Something was different this time and she had to take advantage of it. She didn't have time to figure out what was going on, didn't have time to wait for Heero to find her.

The thought of his name gave her pause, immediately evoking warm eyes and warmer hands. Already on her knees she collapsed completely as images and thoughts and the memory of pure sensation crashed through her; helicopters that whipped her hair and feathers about them, cool green forests, a small cottage, Prussian eyes which promised everything, but most of all safety. Then that kiss, her lips still tingled from it, every nerve still reacted to just the phantom memory. Was any of it real? Could something so powerful actually be true?

Again Relena's too fast heartbeat brought her back to the tiny room as it thumped in her own ears and through her limbs like the countdown of a bomb. She didn't know if he was dream or flesh or some cruel plot but she couldn't just wait for him. Something had happened. Something which meant that she had woken up alone where she least wanted to be. He would just have to find her somewhere else.

There was no doubt in her mind that he would come for her. He had to. But she simply couldn't wait.

As quickly as she could Relena began to crawl towards the doorway that she could just make out from between the legs of the bed. Dragging herself on her forearms she hauled her still useless legs behind her, giving feeble kicks in an attempt to untangle them from the sheet that slithered amongst her legs, loath to give up its prize. They still barely seemed to work, whether from drugs or some more permanent damage she didn't know, and she had to fight the dead weight of her wings for every inch of ground.

At least she still wore the old worn dress from before. She still remembered the utter fear and sheer panic she'd felt when she first awoke on that operating table naked. Beyond the drugs and the pain, it had added something more primal, a vulnerability that held her more securely than the leather straps at wrist and elbow, knee and ankle. When the first doctor had walked in, with his needle and his cold eyes, when he'd touched her, she let go of any pride and screamed and sobbed so loudly they'd gagged her, but by the third time she barely noticed anymore. The doctors no longer even saw her as human, let alone a female. She was simply a meat canvas for their work. Honestly, she still wondered if that's all she was.

Still, the dress meant she wasn't dragging her own skin across the cold floor, and although she could never hope to be inconspicuous, clothing added its own comfort beyond the physical.

Each pull forward by her arms sent the strangest patterns of pain through her back, like ripples on a pond. She felt as if each scar had begun to smoulder, small air-starved embers that wanted only to break through the skin that they might burst into flame and consume them all.

Relena could feel each tile as she passed it, her senses now possessing a hypersensitivity to curse her already tender skin. The small ridges on the floor pressed into her like knives too dull to cut, kissing along her palms and legs, pressing through her dress to her stomach and breasts and scarping along her feet. She half-expected to leave a trail of blood behind her on the floor, but when she looked it was as white and clean as ever, without even any dust for her to leave a path in.

Her eyes also saw too much. The shadows cast by her own feathers fell like ravines, fissures, black chasms that danced around and under her, taunting her, asking her to fall in. The white was far too glaring, blinding, the black too distracting and she'd already forgotten what her goal was, why she was crawling along this floor, inflicting this torture on herself. All that was left was the urgency; that she had to keep moving, that something worse waited for her if she stopped even for a moment.

Lost in these sensations, in the mindless movement where the slightest shadow confused her and dust or grit seemed like needles, Relena didn't notice when she finally passed the bed or when the steady beep of the heart monitor ceased as the attachment wrenched off. She knew nothing but the immediate until suddenly, finally, her reaching fingers found the cheaply painted wood wall, jarring her out of her daze and back into her body.

The feel of the grainy wood contrasted so strongly with the cool, smooth tile that for a moment Relena couldn't stand to feel them both at the same time. Slowly she ran her hand along the wall, dragging herself closer. Finally her fingers caught on an edge. There it was, the crack that her tired eyes followed up to the dull doorknob.

Concentrate on one thing at a time. Each action got her further, they added up. The tremendous effort to remember why the doorknob was important was worth it. She wasn't helpless, didn't have to simply try and survive with some semblance of sanity, she could _escape_.

She would escape and he'd find her and he'd be so proud and happy that she'd managed to get out on her own, that she hadn't just passively waited for him to do all the work. He'd find her and pick her up in his arms and swing her about him in a happy circle as they laughed and her feathers would be like a canopy, like summer snow, like she was flying and finally they'd stop and he'd let her feet touch the ground but he wouldn't let go, he'd never let go. His eyes would get dark with that look that she didn't quite understand, but that deep down a part of her knew, wanted; the warm part of her, and it would begin to build deep in her stomach as she became more and more aware of everywhere they touched, how close they were getting, closer and…

At the sharp sound of footsteps Relena's eyes few open, again fighting the momentary blindness from the bright room, her cheek pressed hard against the tile, her fingertips now barely trailing the wall. How long had she lain there?

She could feel the footsteps like they were a part of her, an external heartbeat that pumped through every vein. She didn't know if she'd passed out or merely drifted off into a pleasant dream. Wasn't even sure if this was the reality, or merely another layer from the drugs. She might still be strapped down dreaming her escape.

Still, fantasy or not, she couldn't afford to slip in and out of consciousness. For a second the memory of her dream immobilized her. Was he real? But the danger of the approaching footsteps was much more pressing. Fear and indecision held her still for a moment more. There wasn't any way she could make it back to the bed. She knew this. Nor did she think she could willingly place herself back there, to be strapped down, drugged and god knew what else when she'd almost made it out this door, crawling the whole way through a torture she forced on herself.

No, if they came for her they'd have to drag her off the floor, and she'd fight every step of the way. But until then…she'd hide.

Pushing against the wall Relena slid slowly up against the door and tucked herself slowly behind where it would open. She pressed her face into the smooth barrier which was all that stood between her and discovery, horrifically aware that her wings spread out around her like a flag, a beacon.

The muscles along her back still crawled and spasmed along her bones, and she didn't dare lift the hated additions to try and hide them in a less visible position. She would simply have to leave her wings spilling out behind her onto the hospital floor and hide her face in the wall.

The steps neither sped up nor slowed down, coming inexorably closer, a steady sound that marked itself onto her skin and mind. She didn't have a hope. The moment anyone opened that door, they couldn't help but notice the empty bed and the girl hiding behind the doors. She wouldn't escape anything but the most blatantly negligent search, yet she still held her breath.

They were so close now that she expected them to see her already, to haul her up and hit her and lock her back in place.

Then they were past, going by the door without pause, without hesitation, without any indication of concern or knowledge of the contents of the room. She hadn't been discovered, found, forced back to the bed, knocked out cold only to awaken hours or days later, naked and cold, unsure what exactly had been done to her. What was going on?

With a small gulp Relena began breathing again, resuming the activity she'd given up during the last few moments of concealment. She let herself slump against the wall, letting it hold all her weight while she gave herself into a moment of relief, listening as the footsteps receded down the hall until even the echo and memory seemed faint and distant.

Then slowly she shifted her weight so that she could begin to reach, to try and find a way to reach the doorknob without breaking the tenuous control she still held over her traitorous body.

The smell of the hospital still promised pain, still clung to her, driving her forward as her fingers scrambled for purchase on the slick metal, nervous sweat making the simple act of opening seem beyond complex. Her hair kept straggling in her eyes, fighting against her, and she couldn't spare even the energy or concentration to brush it away.

Finally the mechanism clicked and the door swung open, taking her with it so that she swayed half out into the hall. The surprise of the movement, the stress on her back and the sudden exposure to the open hall nearly sent her surging back into the room, still holding the door, which would have undone all her painstaking work, but a panicked survey showed the hall as deserted as her room.

Using her grip on the door, Relena slowly levered herself up, senses straining for any sign of discovery. Each second of blindness created by her wings or hair she paid for in frantic increase of her heart and breathing.

The sluggish response of her muscles as she painstakingly brought first her knees then her feet under her seemed immaterial in comparison to the hot coals along her spine, but finally she stood upright, teetering and exposed, but standing.

Most of her weight rested along the door as she fought it closed, unsure how far she'd get without its solid presence. She still had no clear idea where she was going, only the inner mantra of away, away. Something was different and she was going to take advantage of whatever event had given her this opportunity. She had to get out. She had to find Heero.

The thought that he might be captured, imprisoned, dead, occurred to her, but was dismissed before fear barely paused her progress. She couldn't imagine a prison that could hold him, even if they had actually managed to catch him. No, he was somewhere outside looking for her, she had to get out of this building. Once she was outside, she'd be able to think clearly again and work out what had happened, how to find him.

Slowly Relena made her way along the hall, inching her way, pressed up against the wall as if along the edge of some great precipice which she feared falling into. Her eyes constantly searched for any threat, listening for more dreaded footsteps or even worse a shout of discovery and the raising of the alarms, but soon the effort of moving forward took all her focus.

The world narrowed once again to the movement of her feet and hands and her mind dwelt on green forests and lush grass, covering the upsetting hospital with a protective colouring of nature through which she continued to move.

The stairs were the worst. Even while clutching the banister as she went down their wide white steps, lit by bright lights and high windows, Relena slowly climbed the dark, twisting steps from her first escape attempt. They'd left her on the operating table for just a few minutes and she'd taken the chance. She still had the scar on her wrist from that flight, and she'd never even made it out of the stairwell.

She finally came to the bottom. There, past those double doors was an exit. She could see the light coming in through the windows.

With a return of caution Relena peered through the small window in the door that separated her from that last dash to freedom. It was busier here, she could see two young men in scrubs talking farther down the hall, and some sort of reception area off to the right, but surely she could get to the doors before they caught her. There were no guards, no guns or dark glasses, this would be her only chance.

She knew she couldn't make it back up those stairs behind her, already she could feel the exhaustion that her adrenaline fought beginning to win out, but surely she had enough energy for that last, desperate dash. She had to.

With a deep breath Relena launched herself at the door, breaking out in a slow, stumbling run. The exit filled her vision, her mind and thoughts. It represented everything.

She didn't see the shocked looks of the medical workers when she crashed through the doors as they saw a bedraggled angel run by them, nor did she hear the shout from down the hall. Relena ran with everything she had left, bare feet skidding on the slick floor, breathing harsh in her throat. This was the crucial moment, her luck just had to hold out a tiny bit longer.

She could see the outside through the window panes in the door, and then she was there. They hadn't caught her. She threw the door open and would have fallen right down the steps but just as she breathed in the fresh air, in that tiny pause as she moved to step outside, a hand wrapped around her arm and pulled her back, leaving the door to slam closed as she was swung almost violently around to face her captor.


	16. Chase

Chase

Chapter 16

The meeting took much much longer than thirty minutes.

Heero stood with the military precision that he so often took for granted. No bead of sweat, no clenched fists belayed the fact that a near-overpowering sense of urgency seemed to be slowly consuming him; an urgency not shared by the men and women surrounding him. It burned along every nerve, but he couldn't allow it to reveal itself. This was just another type of battle, a different face of war, and a tense soldier would only create time-consuming questions. The only hint lay in his eyes, which instead of gazing blankly over the shoulders of the various speakers, watched each member of the panel with a fierce and uncomfortable intensity.

Never had the military bureaucracy intruded so powerfully against what was needed. They had his reports, knew the circumstances, and had no need of his presence, yet they continued to ask him inane questions that danced around any semblance of a point. And now they seemed to have forgotten his very presence as they argued back and forth with each other, pushing and pulling at a still indistinct future.

This was not a side of the military Heero had any patience with. He dealt with orders, swift and sure in their execution, ruthless in their efficiency. This? This was nothing but politics.

And yet, beneath it all, beneath the scorn for these soft doctors and upper brass, lay something unfamiliar. Twin rivers of need and fear curled amongst the muscles kept so carefully relaxed. There was a reason he had not slipped from the room the moment their attention turned elsewhere. The chamber he'd arrived in so many minutes ago was not the stark and utilitarian briefing room he'd expected; instead a dark wood table dominated the conference room, surrounded with plush chairs meant for lengthy discussions. This room was built for decisions and control. The warm honeyed light turned the panelled centre into a world separate and far away from the cold light of the hospital; far from her and the place he was rapidly beginning to consider as _his_.

So although every inner sense seemed to whisper that he return to her bedside and watch ever flicker beneath closed eyelids, he couldn't risk leaving. Especially because the people before him were the true powers of this war. These were the men and women that took the blood and sacrifices and metal nightmares that he and others birthed, and shaped them into glorious battle and the triumph of righteousness. Even the aide of their shadowy commander was present, taking discreet notes and offering the occasional quiet suggestion. Something was happening and he couldn't afford ignorance, couldn't follow his own inclination and return to the room that seemed to call to him even now. The discussion had long ago turned from medical graphs and the complications of withdrawal and turned to questions of morale and advantage, of winning over the people themselves.

So Heero did what his training had so prepared him for. He listened for the secrets behind every word.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heero carefully observed those who had so blithely decided Relena's fate as they filed out the door, back to their separate duties, secret transportation and important jobs. He carefully watched each detail, noting the slight limp (left side, old injury, improperly healed) of the sleek major and the tight, dissatisfied lips of the head doctor who did nothing to hide his displeasure at the request for speed in Relena's release. But although he appeared the perfect soul of attention, his military stance making him all but invisible, underneath he could feel the violent clarity of battle.

These men, whom he had never met, all wore familiar faces. They were the faces behind the bare words on his computer screen: they were the voice of his orders. They were not the faces of leaders, their names weren't smeared across every news burst or making photographic speeches. But Heero knew them. The faces in the crowd in every photo shot, the names behind the scenes. They were the puppeteers, and suddenly Heero realized that he too may be one of their playthings.

Heero had insulated himself from this great machine of war, focused on flawlessly executing his part, but here he came face to face with the goals and purposes of his infiltrated buildings or bombed depots. Although performed many of their most secret tasks, he did not know their goals. But far more disturbing than any of that was the realization that slowly formed in his mind as their vague and cryptic conversation flowed back and forth; this was not the first they had heard of Relena.

They were too knowledgeable, too prepared. All the rough edges of their debates and reactions had already been smoothed out. The plans had already been made, the possibilities weighed. This meeting in hidden luxury was merely to ensure everyone's co-operation and reaffirm ties. Even his.

Heero was under no illusions. He'd been allowed to stay precisely because they wanted him there, perhaps even considered him vital to their plot. He may have gleaned more than they suspected, but they had no reason to fear betrayal. They saw in him the perfect soldier they'd created so many years before, and he was careful to give no sign that any other options had occurred to him. He couldn't bare to look at the possibility himself, but he knew, _knew_, that suddenly there were questions, something more than the information they handed him.

For now he was just as much a part of their plan as Relena was; their military presence, their undeniable and public relation link in this perverted push for peace. They'd handed him his new assignment. It wasn't on a file to delete, or a folder to burn. No this assignment had no paper trail, just a short, casual sentence that contained an official command just as surely as any sealed document. But Heero's loyalty no longer hung upon blind obedience to these shadowy figures. When pitted against warm-honey hair and fever-bright eyes, their words lost the royal power they'd once contained. She drowned out their loudest shout with a faintest sigh, and though he knew he couldn't have her, he would make damned sure they didn't get her instead. The choice would be hers, but he had no intention that she accept their offer.

Finally the last of them left the room, chatting amicably about the niceties of life as if they had not just decided the fate of a young girl they knew hardly at all. Heero carefully filed out in his correct place, each step as crisp as a soldier whose mind stood free of any mutinous thoughts. The key was to not think of it until you acted, to hide everything from yourself so that your face could fool the world.

The path to Relena's door lay open and encouraged, and each step brought him closer to her, mended the rift he could feel like a burn. He'd no need to fight for a position beside her now, no need to confess that if they wanted to keep him under their control they shouldn't let him near her again. He couldn't afford to admit that she opened emotions forbidden in a perfect soldier. He didn't have to pick a replacement who would watch over her without being distracted, nor did he have to argue that only he was acceptable for that position, the only one she trusted and who could care for her. They hadn't wanted to hear any of the conflicts his face gave no sign of. As always they had his place already decided, gave him no choice. But she still have a choice. He would make sure of that. And whatever she chose he would make certain happened, regardless of consequences. Her world had already birthed too many nightmares, he would keep them from giving her one more.

The room was empty.

Heero stood in the doorway, unable for a moment to fully register that the vital component of the scene in front of him was missing. The white bed stood in the stark room, small dust spots dancing the sunlight that snuck through the window. The thin sheet trailed forlornly off the edge of the mattress to pool like quicksilver on the tile.

She wasn't here.

A quick scan revealed that the corner's were bare of heartbroken huddles, but suddenly that seemed like the preferable option. She should have been safe here in a military hospital, but should haves were immaterial. Her absence made everything else pointless. Somewhere, even now, there were bright lights reflecting off pale skin, sharp blades grafting new nightmares onto her bones. How would he face her after this failure? How could he have changed so quickly from the one who rescued and protected to the one who left her alone and then let her fall once more into the wrong hands? From her white knight to the neglectful villain? But face her again he would. Of that he was certain. He didn't have time for guilt, or remorse, or even the fear that this would break the gift of trust she had so unexpectedly give him. He had to find her. Had to find her before there was nothing but broken reflections left in her dull eyes.

Heero forced a calm onto himself, fought for it in a way he hadn't needed to in years. Emotions and humanity couldn't help him here, would only keep him from finding her, from finding the dead men who had taken her. He was the perfect soldier and he could find _anyone. _ It was what he did.

He didn't know how the insurgents had infiltrated the hospital to reclaim her. Didn't even know if this was some type of inside job, immoral doctors creating a fresh hell for her in the name of medical science. But none of that mattered at the moment. He would save her, and then have his revenge on those who dared to take her. The red haze rippled across his brain, leaving his sight clear but trailing a dark echo under his thoughts. He would revisit each mark they'd made on her back upon them ten fold. They would know their mistake, and they would write their remorse in blood and rubble.

The IV lay forlornly amongst the sheets that trailed towards the door. It still dripped slowly, yet the lack of liquid surrounding it hinted at a recent abduction. Slowly, with a sluggishness Heero did not recognize, the beginnings of a different option began to crystallize, edging in under the surging waves of fury. The area was secure, the news of her presence still tightly under wraps, no one had heard any signs of a disturbance. This wasn't necessarily a kidnapping, in fact another, equally damaging scenario began to emerge. She hadn't been taken, snatched from under his failed care. She had awoken. _Alone. _

She had opened her eyes, clawed her way back from pain-wracked and bloody dreams and her first vision had been a hospital, the very stage of her all too harrowing tragedies. Weak and confused she had reverted to her originals plans, and had finally succeeded in what she'd sought for so long. She had escaped.

Heero spun from the the room, not even pausing to gather the single feather that hovered alone on the pillow. He had no need of keepsakes, he was going to find her.

She couldn't possibly be far. The scientists had created in her the perfect trap. In giving her a parody of flight they had crippled her, pumping her so full of foreign drugs they had engineered her collapse should she ever escape. Without the solution slowly pouring out onto the ground that the military doctors had prescribed she wouldn't last long. It didn't matter if she hated him, if he was now part of what she ran from, he had to find her before the poisons in her blood did more damage. Neither of them could escape so easily.

Heero ran down the halls, breath steady in his chest, eyes alert, hunting. But this was not the forest or the field. The tile held no footprints for him to track, no broken branches to point the way. Buildings were meant to hide the passage of their human inhabitants, cool and impersonal. Indoors, people passed through the twists and turns like they had never been; ghosts that left no trace.

It was the work of a moment to redirect himself to the security room and its banks of monitors and flickering images of endless halls and stairways. The room was empty, the empty coffee-pot a depressing testimony to the whereabouts of its usual guardian. Tensely Heero waited behind the soft, plush chairs, watching as the images showed scene after scene of scurrying doctors and studious clipboards. The possibility that she'd somehow already made it outside, was already barefoot on the pavement and gone had him reaching for the radio. If he had to he'd bring in the reinforcements, however disastrous that would prove. He couldn't risk that they'd find her only after it was too late, collapsed beneath a tree in dappled sunshine, cold to the day's warmth. He'd risk anything but that.

Wait.. there. In the windows of a back staircase he'd seen a flash of white amidst the muddy gray. With click he froze the image, noted the location. The picture was fuzzy but unmistakeable. East entrance stairwell; she was nearly out.

The halls passed by in a blur as Heero swerved through the sparse crowds of personnel. How she'd made it that far without anyone spotting her was a mystery he had no patience for. He knew that hospitals and doctors were busy, but she was impossible to overlook.

Heero burst from the staircase door just in time to see Relena's frantic scramble towards the exit. She ran without grace or skill, the wings nearly obscuring the girl amidst them. But she burned with focus, the painful intensity of the last stand, the final gamble. Every feather shook with a final promise, one last hope. She wasn't waiting for him to rescue her, she was fighting for her own freedom.

Heero ran to meet her, to catch her. She didn't have a plan, he could see that in every muscle of her body. She couldn't see beyond the door in front of her. This was pure panic, and he had to stop her before she did more damage than she could realize.

She pushed open the door just as his fingers closed around the delicate skin of her arm. He pulled back too fast, too furiously, trying to balance gentleness with the still unfamiliar fear that skittered along his nerves. She stumbled backwards into his arms, off-balance, the forward momentum of her flight broken.

He felt the first stinging slap as he registered that she had not melted against him in a physical expression of the relief he felt. No, instead of smiling recognition she was struggling, feeble attempts to break free that contained the tragic ferocity of the cornered prey.

No, he couldn't go through this again. Not when there was no guarantee when she finally saw him she wouldn't fight just as hard. But he couldn't just let her go, couldn't set her free from all of this. He just had to hope she'd let him help her.

"Relena". He had to make her see, had to call her back. The world wasn't right, they weren't safe, but he had to know she saw him, had to make her see that he had come for her. Amidst her low voiced litany of imploring prayers and despairing murmurs he'd caught his name. He had to know that she still trusted him.

"Relena". It was the only word he knew, the only syllables of power that his vocabulary owned. He had to see her eyes, hidden by the frantically flying hair, the delicate strands that struck his face like the softest of lashings.

The pulse in her wrists was a frantic bird beating its wings against the bars. But there, her eyes, they weren't blank, still shown with determination and fire. Finally he caught her attention, breaking through her panic, and with wonder she stilled, finally looking at him.

"Heero?" She said his name with barely a breath, and the word poured like balm along the burnt edges of his mind. But as her hands reached out towards him, the fingertips grazing his cheek her face crumbled. Horror filling her eyes she spoke in a hoarse whisper:

"Oh Heero. I'm so sorry."

Author's Notes: Yes, I realize this took two years. Hopefully the next one will be up faster than that. I'm trying to make this story my summer project, but we all know how good I am at self-imposed deadlines. Thank you so much to my readers who have stuck with me, and welcome to those of you who are new. As always your reviews are what keep me going.


	17. Choice

Chapter 17- Choice

By EvilBunny

Relena struck out with a blind ferocity that her weakened body could not translate into reality. She knew even as she fought that it was hopeless. She was close, so very close, to escape, and if she could have picked up the shards of her shattered freedom, she would have sliced her assailant to ribbons. Was this forever to be her fate? Was she always to taste freedom, yet never allowed to drink fully of it?

The cycle would start again, cruel eyes, cruel pain, and always she stood at the centre, helpless against the storm. There would be no happy ending for her, she could only hope for finality.

But the arms that held her so firmly were gentle, and around the edges and corners of the drugs and fear and rage she could hear his voice. Heero. Heero was calling her, he was here, he had found her. The panic that fluttered in her breast gave a gentle sigh, before it began to grow once more.

For no, no, it was all wrong. He'd found her yes, but in the middle of a lobby in the hospital of their enemies. Even now she could hear the voices of others, their hurrying footsteps as they zeroed on in their location. This was no brisk salvation, there was no muted helicopter to ferry them to the edge of the world, no obvious plan. They were exposed and vulnerable, and even now they should be running, running faster than her slow mind could grasp.

The fear in her, so nearly extinguished by his presence, bloomed anew. They would now have them both. They would take him and do what they'd done to her, or worse. For Heero would have no garden sanctuary, no lucky defect. They'd see the power that shone so brightly in him and they would twist it. They would twist him and then they would take him from her, and she couldn't bear it.

He was talking, saying, asking something, but he didn't understand. They had to leave, and they had to leave now while there was still some slim chance. She was frantic; she could feel the nightmares closing in around them, running their claws along her scars and curling their hooked talons into him. He had to get away. He _had_ to. It was the only important thing left.

"You have to go Heero, you have to leave" frantically she scrabbled at him. He had to let her go and run. Surely he could understand that she couldn't let them have him. Why were they still standing in this blind, white hall, his hands strong around her wrists and his voice a river in her ear? "Heero" she pleaded, her eyes seeking his before flitting back to the encircling figures. What was the plan? Why were they still waiting?

She pulled now, trying to drag him with her if he would not flee himself, the door still right there, so very close. She couldn't let them have him, he was hers, the only good.

But he just stood there, as if they had all the time in the world, as if he was waiting for something, as if they had time for calm and reasonable explanations when every crystalline moment sung out for flight.

They should be running already, fading into the mists, breath heavy in their lungs and the earth bearing the brand of their feet. Yet still he stood firm. And around then she felt the encircling crowd come closer.

"Miss Relena, please, be calm", the cool, professional voice pried violently into Relena's thoughts. With a shriek she spun, arms flying out as if to block a bullet. They had found them.

"No! You can't have him." The dry chuckle that met her declaration derailed the impassioned pleas she'd hoped at them, a last, though hopeless, defense. For they weren't looking at Heero. Only the lightest tightening of his hand on her arm indicated that he was still there. It was as if, to this group before her, he was only furniture or a tapestry, unworthy of notice. No, their attentions was all on her, and behind every pair of eyes she could see calculators, but no scalpels. Some of the faces were even familiar, and from the haze of desperation Relena felt the uncurling of uncertainty. Where was she?

"Please, Miss Relena, we mean neither you, nor Mr. Yui, any harm," the voice was calm, and almost seemed amused at the situation. As if Relena had not just awoken alone, surrounded by glaring machines and muted horrors, when moments before she had been safe in a forest and glade, and in his arms.

With a shiver she remembered his falsely sleeping form; the curve of his cheek under her breath, his rough hand skimming along her arms and against the curve of her elbow. He'd been warm in a way she still couldn't recognize. The brand of his hands on her back, wide against her spine, and the taste of him was a gift she couldn't quite seem to remember. What had happened? There had suddenly been so much pain, and she didn't know the why, or even the how.

Like every one of her dreams, and days, her wings had taken something beautiful and hers and had destroyed it effortlessly. They'd stolen it in ribbons of fire that had wrapped her in darkness, and deposited her here.

At the woman's voice the arms that surrounded her tensed for a fraction of a moment, then began to slide away. Relena's fingers were still wound in the fabric of his shirt, for surely even now he had a plan to rescue the both of them. Wherever here was, he was with her.

But he was stepping away, putting a distance between them that she didn't understand, and which seemed much further than a pace or two. It didn't make any sense. None of this did. Hadn't he come for her? Where was the safety that she only seemed to find with him?

His eyes weren't on her, they were on the men and women that stood so calmly before them. His hand slid along her skin, but she could see that she was no longer the focus of his attention.

His shirt slid through finger that suddenly seemed nerveless as he slowly took a step back, leaving her to sway on unsteady feet, her fingers barely skimming his arm. There was something going on here that she didn't understand; some decision or struggle that she couldn't see; yhat she did not know how to look for.

A suspicion struck like a knife, and only the immediate rejection and surety that sung up from her bones kept her from stumbling. Heero hadn't betrayed her; this was not the tortured past revisited. Something was wrong, that she could plainly see, but her raw nerves could not sense where to run. All she knew was that Heero was unhappy and that she was exhausted. But if they weren't about to strap her down and visit horrors down on her, perhaps she would have time to figure this out.

"Please, Miss Relena, let us find you somewhere comfortable to sit." The voice was calm, crisp, and courteous. But it wasn't Heero's. Relena's eyes hadn't left his, but he was a blank. The only connection she had was the thin layer of skin under her fingertips, and then even that was gone as he took that final step back, his attention on the woman in front of her.

Reluctantly, Relena turned to the them in a muted flurry of feathers, tiredness dragging at every limb. They were gesturing her towards a rolling chair, and as they quietly fussed about her, Relena gingerly sat down. No straps appeared, no needles and laughter. Just a gentle rolling and a constant stream of conversation which seemed to coil about her without ever connecting.

Directly to her left she could feel him walking, his eyes on every corner of the hall, attuned to her every shiver and cringe. She saw his glare fend off doctors with their white coats and terrifying clipboards, felt him tense at any jostle.

But although he stood so near to her that on sharp corners the flutter of her wings seemed to mingle with the brown of his hair, she felt farther from him than she had since finding him in her garden, a gun pointed at her heart. Although he watched over her, he would not meet her eyes.

She wanted, oh how she wanted, to reach out to him amidst this current of conversation and ask him where they were, and let him tell her they were safe as she listened to his heartbeat, low and steady.

However she didn't dare even begin the gesture. He strode alone through the hallway, and the walls he'd built kept him apart just as they kept her hands in her lap. Every step he took was as measured as a panther, and as he watched the hall for danger, Relena watched him.

Had the kiss even happened? Now she wasn't sure. Had she truly been the focus of that attention, that hunger? Here she could barely believe it, as he walked in a cloud of cold calculation. It seemed yet another dream, complete with pain and silence. Perhaps, perhaps it had not happened at all, for surely now there would be some sign, some clue from him that he had not always stood three feet behind and slightly to the left.

The hall seemed long and never-ending, as if they walked in an off-white hive that curved into infinity. Relena could feel her mind softening along the edges, exhaustion and god-knew what else taking its toll. As the mirrored doors of the elevator closed before her she watched them with a detached fascination.

In the mirror it was not Heero's dark features that drew her gaze, but her own pale form, and the wings that towered and spilled out around her like poisonous smoke. No wonder Heero was distant, removing himself from her. Back among the unblemished and the whole, what could he possibly see in her own twisted shape? She knew the scars that poured up her back, the amount of drugs that flowed in her tainted blood. She was a symbol of the power of the enemy. Without the mystery of her garden and their solitude, she stood in the harsh light of normality.

Around her the voices had finally fallen silent, only the gentle climb of the elevator breaking the silence. Wrong for flight, wrong for love, Relena didn't know how she could fit back into the world that had been stolen from her.

Consciousness slowly seeped out of her eyes, running in a single silver trail down her cheek. The last thing she saw as sleep reclaimed her were her wings towering above the group, crushing everything beneath them.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Relena awoke gently, warmth and drowsiness in every limb, a relaxation she could not muster the will to fight. The hospital, the pain, it still hid behind every glance and nerve, but it was secondary to Heero's presence. There was a different quality to the air, a knowledge that he stood nearby that rose in her even before her eyelids fluttered. True, he still stood far from her, leaning against the wall at deceptive ease, but his very presence soothed her ragged heartbeat.

Relena basked in the safety his form carried. So complete was her content that it took her a moment to realize that it was not his presence that had awoken her. No, it was the murmured word of the tidy and short-haired woman who sat beside her bed.

"Miss Relena, if you are feeling better, there are those of us who have something we'd very much like to ask you". The words were calm, a river well used to carrying the current, but almost immediately Relena lost the flow and sense of the conversation. Heero shown like a flame, one which could she not resist. The shadows that curled and lurked around the edges of this place ran hiding from him, and though he promised destruction and obliteration, Relena heard nothing but the siren call of hearth and home in his words and stance. The room might separate them, and though she could still see distance written in his every muscle, it was his warmth that soothed and fascinated her.

"Please Miss Relena, we're asking you to help us end this war. Help us end the war that soldiers like Heero are having to fight".

Finally Relena focused on the words of the woman who had awoken her. And suddenly it was as if Heero was the light by which she read the promises and hopes that were being woven before her eyes. He was the flame by which she read the proffered text. This was the war he fought, the war that had twisted the doctors into creating her and those other monstrosities she had been forced to bear witness to.

The words of war were not some distant sphere scarce grasped. When Noin spoke of battle, Relena saw Heero, cold and firm, forced to kill his enemies. He stood against them, emotionless, with nothing but blankness on his face. This was the cost of his strength; the heart he had traded away for the ability to face those who opposed them.

When Noin spoke of sacrifice, Relena saw it: the decision to save comrade and friend, achieve success regardless the cost. She saw Heero and knew how quietly , how calmly he would make that choice. How easily he would see the path and step out into that danger.

What's more, she already knew how little he valued his own safety. Nobody would infiltrate the castle that had been her prison on a solo mission if he had any instinct of self-preservation. No, Heero would willingly self-destruct, throw his life away for his cause at the slightest provocation. She couldn't bear it, to think of him floating in the detritus when she was being offered, here and now, a chance to prevent it.

And when Noin spoke of civilian casualties; the price the innocent were paying in this bloody warfare, Relena finally raised a hand and stopped her. For this she knew. She had seen the children whose parents would never return. She knew the price paid by the innocent in this foolish quarrel. Her voice was still hoarse from the screams of blameless, her skin marred and cut by the blades that would seek any advantage, regardless the cost. She knew the damage this conflict could exact on one who had no understanding of it.

The wings that even now cast shadows across the room to lap at Heero's feet were proof enough of how far the world would go in the quest for victory. They hung flightless, a shining testimony that even in their success, her captors had failed to create in her a military force. It was one of the few shreds of gratitude that Relena had cherished before he had come to save her. She had never been sent out to war, sent out to fight and die for them. But it could have been so different.

As Heero stood to attention, every emotion tightly masked or banished, Relena knew he was as much a victim of this war as she was, and her duty finally lay clear. She would do all in her power to protect him, and so with renewed purpose she turned her attention to the proposition of the military woman beside her.


End file.
